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Long distance marriage?

sklopfersklopfer member
10 Comments
in Florida-South Florida
So, my relationship with my fiancé from the start has been a long distance one. We went to high school together, but we didn't start dating until after he had joined the Marines, and I was in college. He still has 2 1/2 years in the service, and I will be going to graduate school 4 hours away from where he is stationed. In 2011, he'll be going over to Afghanistan, and he'll be over there for our first anniversary. Have any of you ladies dealt with this before, or are engaged to someone in the armed forces? 
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Re: Long distance marriage?

  • sambrefe67sambrefe67 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Im sorry, I only dated a guy in the armed forces many years ago.  I do not think I would be much help.
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  • Lacey36Lacey36 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Im sure its tough and possibly will be tough, sorry I never dealt with it either. I would see if there is a board on here about Military brides and stuff. GL
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  • sklopfersklopfer member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    There is a military brides forum, but they're so obsessed with matching their bridesmaid dresses to the dress blues, and wondering what their cake toppers should look like (not that we're not.) I guess I was just wondering if there was anyone in south florida who was dealing with the same thing I was. 
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  • ShuutnstarShuutnstar
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I have some friends who have gone through similar things... It is definitley tough and not for the faint of heart. But if you are a strong person and you enjoy being on your own sometimes, and enjoy your own company... you will do fine. You can DEFINITLEY make it work.

    But if you are like me... and I go crazy when I'm left alone for a week... I know I personally couldn't do it... because I am not good on my own. :)

    My advice is to make sure to have or develop a strong network of friends wherever you are stationed, and make sure you keep yourself busy!

    You can make it through this! I commend you for being so strong and am grateful to your FI for protecting our country! I am sure he is an amazing guy!

    GL!

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  • PattyJosePattyJose member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Well, although im not in that position, i sure do have friends that are. One of my friends is not only married with a man in the army, but has 2 kids. And when he has to leave for a year or 2 at a time, it is not easy, but they definitely make it work. Their love has grown stronger and they appreciate eachother so much more everytime they are together.

    I have another friend who's husband is away at school in a different country and he lived there throughout their whole engagement and now going to be one year of marriage. He is finally moving down in a few weeks and they are like two little kids who just started dating. It is the cutest thing.

    So basically, its not going to be easy to be away from your one and only, but you will get through it and you can be very happy. And with a positive attitude, your relationship will blossom to something better than you ever imagined.
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  • Italian PrincezItalian Princez member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    One of my bestfriends has been dealing w/ this since we graduated HS. They were married right after graduation & he left to The Marines. They have now been married for the last 10yrs and have a Beautiful 1yr old who happens to be my God Daughter.

    They have moved all over the world where he has been stationed & he has been deployed about 4x's since they have been married, leaving her behind in whichever country he was stationed in.

    I have to admit, it  has been difficult for them, though they are as much in love now as they were in HS.
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  • Tiffayqp12Tiffayqp12
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am not going to be married to a man in the military (but I was a child of the military), but my FI and I will be living apart for our first year of marriage because I graduate law school in May before the wedding and start my job in another city 3 hours away.  He has to stay to finish law school so we will commute on the weekends. 

    It isn't ideal, but we know we can do it because we did it my first year of law school.  It will be hard especially when he is out of the country, but just surround yourself with a good support network and make the most of the time you do have together.

    Dalie also does long distance with her husband right now so if she gets on and sees this maybe she can provide some words of advice.
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  • TheJenniusTheJennius
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My first 3 months of dating Craig we were apart. It was a lot of phone calls and text messages, but our love grew. Now, I am in no way comparing my tiny experience to what you're about to face. I respect your strength and willingness to make it work.

    Is ti doable? Yes. Is it going to be difficult? At time. But (and excuse the cliche), love conquers all things. If you can do this, you guys will be an indestructible couple, through & through. Trust, communication, prayer and passion will get you through this.


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  • EvelynandMannyEvelynandManny
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well like most previous post I am not in your situation but my cousin and one of my friends are. If you are both strong you will make it through and be better at the end of it. I wish you both the best of luck,,,and hey for the time being a 4 hour drive is not that bad! :)
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  • bears4lifebears4life member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    First of all I commend your husband for protecting and fighting for the country. Although my FI is not in the marine, I definately can related to a long distance relationship. FI moved away to Michigan to start law school just 2 weeks after we got engaged (back in 2007). I couldn't go with since I was in grad school down here. After a year over there, he transfered down to FSU in Tallahassee, a 7 hour drive from where I am. Our entire engagement has been long distance, and yes while he isn't in another country, he did spend 3 months away from me studying in Oxford in England (very minute I know compared to your situation). Nevertheless, we've made it through and in fact became stronger through it all. Through texts, phone calls, emails, flying and driving to see each. Is it difficult...yes, it is but is it worth it...most definately so because he's my other half and no matter where he is, we'll make it work.

    I know your situation is way worse than mine but the previous girls gave you excellent advice. Surround yourself with a good support system, friends and family and possibly any other marine wives out there. You'll have your down moments and you'll cry but at the end of the day, he belongs to you, and him being away is not "forever". Your love and support for one another will get you through it and bring you closer to one another no matter the distance!

    Good luck!
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