Physical Gifts at Wedding

BmoreBride311 · February 2012

How common is it for guests to bring physical gifts to the wedding (beyond cards with cash or GCs)?

I'm trying to decide if I need a plan on where ppl could leave gifts and who would be responsible for taking them home at the end of the night. We have a friend who is going to be responsible for cards, but if she also needs to worry about physical gifts, it could get a bit more complicated, as she would need a car there, too (we are doing a shuttle to the reception site). Should I have a plan for this?

Avion22 · February 2012

I think you should defintiely have a PLAN for physical gifts, and some people will probably bring some. Hopefully anything big will be sent to your house (or the shipping address you listed on your registry) ahead of time. I would think that an SUV, minivan, or station wagon would probably be big enough. Still, you will want a card box or some other secure way to store cards that might have money/gift cards in them.

Mrs.B6302007 · February 2012

Every wedding I've ever been to has always had a gift table or a designated "receiver". It is definitely most convenient to send gifts prior to the wedding, but realistically, it doesn't happen. You should certainly have a plan.

rlavach · February 2012

This really depends regionally. Around here, it is rare for you to receive a physical gift at a wedding. Everyone brings gifts to the shower & cards to the wedding. That said, there are the occasional gifts, so we are having a small gift table with a card box, just in case a few bring gifts.

Ash61612 · February 2012

Agree, I would have a plan for guests who bring physical gifts

ShakeUpTampa · February 2012

Make a gift table. I didn't want one but realized a few months back we are going to get a LOT of physical gifts...Only two have been mailed so far. My friend who is taking us to the Port the following day is loading the gifts in her car as she lives across the street from my grandmothers house and they can be dropped off there.

hoffse · February 2012

Like PP said it's a pretty regional thing. Southerners tend to do physical gifts more than cash/gift cards and it's one major etiquette rule that southerners routinely break: we like to see a full gift table. It also saves confusion as to where to ship the gift so that it actually gets to the couple since many couples don't live with their parents who traditionally host down here. While registries keep an address for shipping on file, they won't share it with guests. Also, if a guest decides to buy a registry item someplace else (like a BBB item that they find at Macy's for a better price or vice versa), that gift will typically be brought to the reception to ensure it makes it home with the couple.

It's not particularly convenient for the couple, but it's part of hosting a wedding in this area. I've read that in New England almost everybody gives cash. I find this really strange, but I grew up learning that boxed gifts were the only appropriate gift to give at weddings due to my region. I can't see where you're from, but I would have a contingency plan for boxed gifts.

AurorasEnvy · February 2012

I agree, there's no way of knowing whether or not you are going to get physical gifts, so just assume you are going to have some & plan for it.

rlavach · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_physical-gifts-at-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:980198ae-d1c6-4067-96f8-6bbcf1b3aaabPost:2865d364-097a-4d86-84f0-0014caef0d70">Re: Physical Gifts at Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Like PP said it's a pretty regional thing. Southerners tend to do physical gifts more than cash/gift cards and it's one major etiquette rule that southerners routinely break: we like to see a full gift table. It also saves confusion as to where to ship the gift so that it actually gets to the couple since many couples don't live with their parents who traditionally host down here. While registries keep an address for shipping on file, they won't share it with guests. Also, if a guest decides to buy a registry item someplace else (like a BBB item that they find at Macy's for a better price or vice versa), that gift will typically be brought to the reception to ensure it makes it home with the couple. It's not particularly convenient for the couple, but it's part of hosting a wedding in this area. <strong> I've read that in New England almost everybody gives cash. </strong> I find this really strange, but I grew up learning that boxed gifts were the only appropriate gift to give at weddings due to my region. I can't see where you're from, but I would have a contingency plan for boxed gifts.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]
I can't speak for all of the North East, but in Jersey, people pretty much only gift cash & checks. I actually did a poll on the NNJ board becase until I came on TK, I'd only rarely seem physical gifts at a wedding. I was wondering if I just have weird friends/family, or if it was regional. Turns out 95% only received cards. That's just Jersey, though. I don't know about the rest of the NE.

AdeleDazeem · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_physical-gifts-at-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:980198ae-d1c6-4067-96f8-6bbcf1b3aaabPost:1d8e2295-f848-4225-b0a7-aafeb1bfebbe">Re: Physical Gifts at Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]This really depends regionally. Around here, it is rare for you to receive a physical gift at a wedding. Everyone brings gifts to the shower & cards to the wedding. That said, there are the occasional gifts, so we are having a small gift table with a card box, just in case a few bring gifts.
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

As someone who grew up in NJ and had an AHR in the area, I disagree.

We had a lot of boxed gifts that we had to get home at the end of the night.

Have a plan. Don't rely on "region" things saying it will work a certain way. Every wedding I've been to (all over the US) has had some boxed gifts that were brought by guests that day.

mcskatcat · February 2012

This is something that really depends on your circle. I know some of my H's relatives have weddings where there are no gift tables, and similarly, in some circles it's actually considered rude to bring a physical gift to the wedding (not in my circle, just what I've heard.) What is typical for weddings that you've been to? What does your family do? What does your friends do? What is common in your region?

rlavach · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_physical-gifts-at-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:980198ae-d1c6-4067-96f8-6bbcf1b3aaabPost:bde8107c-9be6-487d-a63f-2c737c192057">Re: Physical Gifts at Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Physical Gifts at Wedding : As someone who grew up in NJ and had an AHR in the area, I disagree. We had a lot of boxed gifts that we had to get home at the end of the night. Have a plan. Don't rely on "region" things saying it will work a certain way. Every wedding I've been to (all over the US) has had some boxed gifts that were brought by guests that day.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]
Interesting. Out of the 40-ish NJ girls that voted, only 2 had more than 25% boxed gifts. Granted, the brides on TK don't represent all of the state, but it's a good crossection. I sure hope people follow the local customs because the venue's gift table isn't that big.

73jewels · February 2012

I am a Jersey Bride too and agree that it is regional. I personally have never brought a gift to a wedding (always and envelope) and ALL my friends said they got 2 or 3 gifts unless they had a lot of out of towners. I, however, am planning on getting a good number of actual gifts because my Fiance is from out of town as are most of his friends and family.

Interestingly, we had this "discussion" when we first started dating and going to weddings together. He couldn't understand why I wasn't buying a gift, and I thought he was being crazy for buying something! I have found that it is a Jersey thing for sure, and also NY - at least NY near the city.

That all being said, I would always have a contingency plan just in case people are bringing gifts. We do only have a small gift table, but we do have a gift table for those (mostly out of towners) that will bring a gift!

entropicbeauty · February 2012

Every wedding I have ever been to guests have brought gifts (enough to fill at least one table). I also bring physical gifts to weddings (before being on TK, I didn't even know it was "rude" to bring a gift instead of a card/GC). Definitely plan on people bringing gifts.

melaniemcdonald · February 2012

I would without a doubt have a table for gifts and a basket for cards. Just make sure that none of your guests separates the gifts from the cards, because that can cause headaches! You most likely will have some gifts brought, if not a LOT of gifts brought to your wedding. Also, many stores have a Purchase list available to you after the wedding in case you have a mystery gift where the card may have fallen off, and you can ask if they have this option available.

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