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wilsonjenny · August 2012

Moved question to "Reception Ideas" forum. Sorry for the confusion. I'm new.

missfrodo · August 2012

A reception is to thank your guests for attending your wedding ceremony. It would be rude to invite, say, 60 people to the ceremony and 200 to the reception. I know you're trying to be polite by including them, but you could actually offend them with a tiered wedding like this!

If you wanted to invite your large crowd, you would have to limit the ceremony to being truly private, ie. only parents, siblings, and grandparents (less than 15 people, hopefully), then invite everyone to the reception afterwards.

I would definitely host the reception the day of the ceremony. I have also never heard of anyone doing a reception before the ceremony, especially not one day before the ceremony. I don't know the etiquette on that, but I image you'd want to limit the mimosas at that brunch so people don't show up tanked to your ceremony

freebread03 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_reception-before-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:ae82100b-1e18-4697-9ceb-4fe93091ee51Post:c0332276-4e91-4ff7-810c-1e5fc74a4cf6">Reception BEFORE wedding??</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are in our mid30s and want a small, intimate, private wedding day. Our main focus is to surround ourselves with our close family and friends on our big day. Plus, we are getting married in a small chapel at my college alma mater that only seats 60 people. However, we want to be polite and include other people extended family, parents' friends, <strong>shower / tea hostesses as a part of our wedding celebration. </strong>We talked about a very small ceremony followed by a large reception but have decided that's not our vision for our wedding day. We want it to be as quaint as possible. We are not planning a reception after our ceremony. For our guests attending the wedding, we plan to host a brunch before the ceremony. So, we're talking about mixing things up a bit and having our wedding reception the day BEFORE our wedding. That way, we can include all of the people we would normally invite to a large wedding but reserve the sanctity of the day for us, our immediate family and our very close friends. I do not personally know anyone who has switched the natural order of things. And I have not heard of anyone doing this. Have you done this? Do you know someone who has done this? How do you think this switch up plays into the etiquette rules?
Posted by wilsonjenny[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Let's talk about a few things in your post that stood out. It sounds like you are not planning on inviting those who hosted showers to your wedding? If they hosted your shower, they really should be invited. As should all of those people who attended your shower and bought you gifts. That's proper etiquette. If you weren't planning to invite them, then you should have declined those pre-wedding events.</div><div>
</div><div>A reception is an event to receive your guests. You can't have a reception before your event, and you can't have a reception for those that were never invited to be guests in the first place. (Seriously, look it up <strong><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_reception" rel="nofollow">here</a> <click). </strong>So, having a "reception" the day before doesn't really work. If you are having a truly private ceremony, you could have a reception afterwards, but having a large brunch and then asking people to leave so you can get married would be...strange.</div><div>
</div><div>If you are very set on having a ceremony with your immediate family only, then do just that. You can have a non-wedding related BBQ or whatever a few weeks later, but it's not a reception and shouldn't include any wedding related activities.

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