Not a diamond in the engagement ring

wngschic · May 2010

Not sure if it's advice I need, or just a way to vent a little. My fiance and I recently got engaged. We designed the ring together, and in the process he got laid off from his job. Needless to say, the budget on the ring has been drastically reduced. Since one way to cut the price is to not have a diamond as the center stone, I decided instead of getting a CZ I would just go ahead and put an aquamarine in the center, since I love the light blue, and because I like being just a little different. What I didn't expect is for people to be so hung up about the diamond thing! People are just RUDE when they look at the ring, and then ask why there isn't a diamond in the middle! I don't feel like dragging my fiance's unemployment up everytime... I mean, can't they just be happy about the engagement? We put little diamonds around it and on the band... but, gah, I just want to scream! #@*&

Ok, that's a little better

bethsmiles · May 2010

Just tell them that having a diamond is only an American tradition. Hell Princess Diana didn't have a diamond! You don't need to tell people about your FI's unemployment because its none of their business. A lot of people choose not to have a diamond even if they could afford a diamond. It doesn't need to have any diamonds to be an engagement ring.

I know that my bf isn't getting me a diamond and I'm happy he's not, it doesn't matter what other people think.

Josh+Shannon · May 2010

do what makes you happy! it's your ring - if they don't like it, they don't have to look at it!

girl2bewed · May 2010

Wow! What rude friends you have if they are asking why its not a diamond and its certainly not any of their business!!!! Its YOUR ring and what it symbolizes is all that matters. Congrats!

skythe · May 2010

I don't have a diamond in my engagement ring -- I have a lavender sapphire -- and no one close to me has said anything rude about it. I love my ring; it's special to me because it's different. When I show it off, I make sure to point that out to people. I think that helps silence anyone who would have anything mean to say. Just ignore the rude ones; when people ask why we didn't do a diamond, I just try to be graceful and say something like "We wanted to be different, that's all." Not very witty, but no one asks again.

brittz · May 2010

Don't listen to the rude people. I think your ring still sounds amazing and by adding a stone you like makes it unique to you. Congrats about your engagement. Don't let anyone bring down your happy mood

Simply Fated · May 2010

I will have you know that Anne Blythe from the Anne of Green Gables series chose to use a pearl instead of a diamond. And I found nothing wrong with that.
I myself wouldn't mind having an amethyst, another stone Anne preferred over a diamond...

Anyway....
You don't need to give any reason as to why you chose what you chose.

You went with what you wanted and what you could afford, others should follow in your footsteps.

luckyme502 · May 2010

Say, "Well, aren't you rude." And then don't say anything else.

NatandIsaac · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-diamond-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:66514b97-7628-46a5-8880-0436fc566a1ePost:c70f5ce1-f558-4940-bc35-ddac4c2462b4">Re: Not a diamond in the engagement ring</a>:
[QUOTE]Say, "Well, aren't you rude." And then don't say anything else.
Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I totally agree; it's just absurd how rude that is. BTW, I think aquamarine is a beautiful gem, and I love unique E-rings. I love my little diamond ring, but I would be lying if I said that I could pick it out of a lineup. </div>

missmegane · May 2010

I agree! YOU are the one who will be wearing this ring for the rest of your life. So at the end of the day, all that matters is that YOU love it! A diamond isn't for everyone, regardless of what others may say!

wngschic · May 2010

Thanks everybody, I feel a lot better!

kbj88 · May 2010

ugh i get this alot. My ring is a blue topaz, i absolutely adore it. it is MY personality, my color and I chose the ring. When people see it they are like..."oooh a blue diamond" and im like.."no, its topaz" I dont know why engagement ring=diamond personally. I have had a few people be all like "oh...its cute" and i just feel like saying "biitch, my ring is 1.5cts, its bigger than your 'diamond' ring!"

bbyckes · May 2010

I love aquamarines. Those people are inconsiderate and should mind their own business. You don't need to explain your FI's employment history with them nor do you need to make excuses. Wear your ring with pride.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

You don't have to explain to anyone about your ring. That is just rude and immature of people to ask you about your ring. It is an American tradition to have a diamond e-ring, so don't worry about it. There are plenty of bride to be's out there that don't have the traditional solitare. It is all in what you want and makes you happy.

fairy_diva · May 2010

Tell them its not a diamond and you don't feel that you should support Debeers and other diamond companies in an over priced market!

LOL! Mine is diamond and I love it, but it was also a ring on clearance that got another 30% off plus another $50 off for buying it online with a code from Zales.

meamolly · May 2010

Did you know that engagement rings way back in time use to be anything but a diamond? That having a diamond was considered to be unique?

whitneyrenee · May 2010

Money was a big concern when we got engaged as well. My fiance had been unemployed for almost 6 months, so he didn't really have the money to shell out for a ring. His mother gave him a gorgeous emerald ring that she had. I'm not a huge diamond fan to begin with, so I like that it's a little different. Plus, I'm wearing his mother's blessing wherever I go!

I haven't had any rude comments; most people are just confused when they see it because it's unexpected. A client who come into work the other day asked if my birthday was coming up. I guess he didn't notice what hand it was on...

flippinsweet · May 2010

People suck - i'm sorry. My fiance and i designed my ring and it's probably more of an "anniversary ring" instead of a solitaire. Luckily I have not received catty comments about it, but was worried at first. If you receive a petty comment, I would reply with "it's exactly what I wanted. Everyone has a solitaire and I wanted to stand out". It may shut those 1 ct. solitaire gals up and if you discuss how you and fiance designed the ring together and that it's "custom", it should quiet them down. I'm sorry they are rude - this is a special time - try to enjoy it and leave their comments behind.

sapphirebaby926 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_not-diamond-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:66514b97-7628-46a5-8880-0436fc566a1ePost:c70f5ce1-f558-4940-bc35-ddac4c2462b4">Re: Not a diamond in the engagement ring</a>:
[QUOTE]Say, "Well, aren't you rude." And then don't say anything else.
Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

I have had to do this but only recently - most people I know understand how I felt about diamonds and didn't question me at all. I have a sapphire for my center stone and I have also gotten 'ooohhh you got a blue diamond!' I wish I could understand this obession with diamonds - besides how I feel about diamonds I just don't think they are as pretty as other stones out there.

pavingtheroad · May 2010

I'd just say tp those people "Personally I'm delighted fi choose this ring because its exactly what I wanted and unique" and leave it at that

Thumper1148 · May 2010

My ring is a simple band. I told my guy that I wanted a ring that can be used as the wedding band later. I am a very simple girl. So not every ring has to have a diamond. I would explain to anyone who made a comment that they are being extremely rude!

MaggieEngaged · May 2010

When I got engaged, the first thing my grandma did was ask me if he got me a diamond or my birth stone. In her day, diamonds weren't necessary, and she's really not that old! Diamonds are a relatively recent fad. Don't let people get you down- next time they say something, tell them you picked out the stone yourself. You don't need to say anything about your fiancee's job- just say you helped design the ring and love it just the way it is.

meremor23 · May 2010

My best friend has an aquamarine in her e-ring, and she just tells everyone (including me!) that she has one because she thinks diamonds are "expected" and "boring." Just tell everyone that the light blue is one of your favorite colors and you really wanted something unique!

But I agree - very rude!

luckyme502 · May 2010

I would like to tell you that I have a diamond ering! I love it! I have always wanted an emerald cut diamond, and that's what I got.

Now, I am a lover of all gemstones, and think erings with other gems are just as amazing. If you showed me your ring, I would look at it, ask about the stone and probably think and tell you it was awesome. But trust me, you would know I was interested in the stone, not why you didn't chose a diamond.

I support your choice to do have a different gem and I hope you enjoy it forever, unless one day you upgrade

!

littleteacup · May 2010

People that conformist and materialistic aren't worth worrying about. You should be happy you and your fiance are more enlightened.

Not everyone expresses love quite the same way, and you sure as heck can't express it better by spending more money. It's what the ring means and the sentiment behind it that matters. Anyone who doesn't see that is a very shallow person.

SheDiva4 · May 2010

[QUOTE]Say, "Well, aren't you rude." Posted by luckyme502[/QUOTE]

Then tell them that you are happy that your e ring reflects your tastes and not what the billion dollar wedding industry tells you to like.

Personally I really wanted a mystic fire topaz, cuz it such a cool stone. However my FI is very traditional and he picked out a diamond for me, and that makes me happy but I may at some point swap out the diamond.

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Not a diamond in the engagement ring

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