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Christian Weddings

The Battle of the DJ

I'm starting to realize that even though my mom wants me to have what FI and I want, she's really good and making what she wants happen. Let me explain...

So, first it was the time of the day for the ceremony. Her main argument was that the colors I'd picked (red and black) were for an evening wedding, not a morning wedding. FI and I wanted a morning wedding because we'd like to leave for our HM on the Oregon coast (about a 6 hour drive) that day rather than staying a night in our hometown. But my mom WOULD NOT let it go. Everytime I brought it up, she brought up the colors. I offered to change my colors (because I really didn't care) and then she said that we should do it in the evening because it wouldn't as hot. *sigh* I eventually had to gang up on her with my dad before she would even listen that morning is a good time of day for it because that's when it's coolest. So, I ended up having to change my colors, but we got the time of day we wanted.

Then it was the dress. I've always wanted cap sleeves. Not sleeve additions (I think they look stupid), but cap sleeves. My mom kept trying to talk me into a sleeveless dress, saying the look was timeless and elegant. I'm sorry, but arm fat is not timeless and elegant. After she saw hundreds of sleeveless dresses on me and then saw a dress with cap sleeves, she decided I was right. Ya think? Geez.

Now it's the DJ. We are not having dancing for all the guests at our reception. The people from FI's church who I love dearly and are coming will not dance. We'd like time to socialize with the people who loves us rather than partying. That's just our thing. So, we don't want a DJ...at all. My mom on the other hand is completely set on having one. My aunt was married about five years ago and didn't have a day of planner, an announcer or a DJ to keep things moving along, so it took forever to eat (the food was cold) and it took forever to get everyone corralled for pictures, etc. She keeps saying "You don't want to have an Aunt Becky wedding do you?" That's her main argument for the DJ.

FI is so against it. I had decided long ago to let it go. My parents are paying for the DJ, if it makes them happy to pay hundreds of dollars for someone we're not really using, then whatever. It's not a battle worth fighting. FI thought it was and called my mom last night to tell her to void the check she wrote the DJ (there's no contract yet) and he'll call him and tell him we've decided not to use him. I wasn't there when he called my mom, but he said she didn't freak out. She just told him he needed to find someone else for music, then. Is it really that easy?! I'm so frustrated because I've been battling with my mom over everything and he just called her up and she agreed? -.-

That got really long. Ha. Here's some yummy chocolate chip cookies for you if you read through all of my mom-drama.




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2010: 41 books, 2011: 31 books, 2012: 100 books

Re: The Battle of the DJ

  • edited December 2011
    Oh for the love. Your Mom is driving ME nuts. you should give yourself a cookie for dealing with that drama! aye.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm sorry, sounds rather stressful.  I bet it felt good to write that all out. 

    That has got to be frustrating that she will listen to your fiance but not to you.  I'm sure it's because she feels like she can argue with you but doesn't want to start a bad relationship with your fiance. 

    I pray that she backs off a bit and lets you enjoy your wedding day.  You deserve it. 
    "Faith Hope and Love are some good things he gave us, and the greatest is Love"
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_battle-of-dj?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:2d9bc4b4-35dc-4a5e-89be-077aea0449c2Post:d8bc0f98-87ae-46e7-9c9d-0f0c5f2a7d02">Re: The Battle of the DJ</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh for the love. Your Mom is driving ME nuts. you should give yourself a cookie for dealing with that drama! aye.
    Posted by joyfulbride424[/QUOTE]

    I really wish the Knot had a like button! 
    "Faith Hope and Love are some good things he gave us, and the greatest is Love"
  • edited December 2011
    Ugh!  Cookies!  We already have doughnuts at my office today and I'm on a diet!  Lol.

    I'm sorry you're having to deal with so much drama from your mama!  Is she paying for the wedding, or just giving a ridiculous amount of input?  Either way, I think you and your FI are doing the right thing by standing up to her.
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  • edited December 2011
    wow.... uh... that frustrates me! hang in there and know that its almost over!

    i have to have the pep talk with myself too. lol
  • mrandmrsbristmrandmrsbrist member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_battle-of-dj?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:2d9bc4b4-35dc-4a5e-89be-077aea0449c2Post:d7df34ce-a218-40af-9545-a655c019cf2e">Re: The Battle of the DJ</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is she paying for the wedding, or just giving a ridiculous amount of input?
    Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]
    The money situation is a bit crazy.

    She and my dad gave FI and I $2,500 to do what we wanted with. FFIL and FMIL gave us about that much as well. We had already put deposits on things like the cake and photographer, bought my dress, etc when my mom came to me and said she wanted catering (we were just planning on doing cake and punch reception) a DJ, and extra guests. For a few months there was drama about whether we should use some of the $2,500 they gave us to pay for that, but because they weren't things we wanted, they were things my mom requested, we asked her and my dad to pay for that. They agreed, which is why I just wanted to let the stupid DJ thing go, but then FI wanted to fight it and he ended up getting what we wanted, which was no DJ.
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    2010: 41 books, 2011: 31 books, 2012: 100 books
  • faith415faith415 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That sounds crazy frustrating! My mom keeps fighting stupid stuff like that as well, and since she's paying I feel like I don't have much room to fight. I totally understand her agreeing to your FI and not you though. I never want to get into it with my FMIL about stuff because I don't want to start off with a bad relationship, but I have no problem fighting about the same things with my own mom!
    It'll all be over soon and wont matter, but I'm sure for now it's crazy stressful!
  • edited December 2011
    Ooh chocolate chip is my FAVORITE!!

    That's so frustrating!!  You should have FI call all the time now.  :P  Sorry she's being hard to get along with.  Weddings make people go crazy sometimes, I have no idea why.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_battle-of-dj?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:2d9bc4b4-35dc-4a5e-89be-077aea0449c2Post:4c9f54d4-c0cd-4df8-b850-79579c28e140">Re: The Battle of the DJ</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ooh chocolate chip is my FAVORITE!! That's so frustrating!!  <strong>You should have FI call all the time now.</strong>  :P  Sorry she's being hard to get along with.  Weddings make people go crazy sometimes, I have no idea why.
    Posted by LittleBigO[/QUOTE]
    LOL!  This.
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  • edited December 2011
    Wow. That is super frustrating! I hope you feel a bit better venting it all out.
  • edited December 2011
    Sorry about all that! She should realize this is YOUR wedding. At least she is paying for the things you didn't want anyway and I'm glad your FI was able to talk to her. 
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