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Military Brides

Facebook Ettiquette?

So, I've been mulling this over for a while. FI and I have never been "engaged" on Facebook. We didn't do it right away, we called everyone, and just never got around to it. Then I started reading TK, and realized that talking wedding on FB was considered a very bad idea. We've been back and forth over it since, at first we just thought it was a little silly, and then all the craziness happened and we didn't want people asking a ton of questions that we just couldn't answer because everything was so unsure. So, while now we're starting to plan and need to get a guest list together, but since we don't know FI's next base, I'm still not too sure of a timeline, but I can actually start planning all the things I don't need a date for, now.

So part of me thinks "just leave it be." And the other, more AW part of me says that I want to show off my newly sized ring. While our friends know we're engaged, many of them have not seen it because I didn't want to put up pics (and "talk wedding") at the time and they live all over. I guess I could send individual pics,but that seems even weirder. So I feel like a giant AW for wanting to do it now, after we've been engaged almost 6 months (really?!). And then saying to some of the people (who I'm FB friends with but didn't get phone calls, because that's fair number of people), "no really, this has been done, just putting it up here."

Basically, I don't think it's the end of the world to do it, and I kind of want my engagement AW, but I don't want to be an unmitigated ass about it. I'm wondering if I could just change the relationship status over without comment and add ring pics a little later. Or I'm being awful, I'm just suddenly really excited about the wedding again. Thanks for letting me ramble, advice, as always appreciated, as are slaps upside my fool head.
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Re: Facebook Ettiquette?

  • BinxRoseBinxRose member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, I think you're overthinking it! When someone changes their status to "engaged" or puts up a pic of their ring, I don't think "Oh my god what an AW!!!" I think "Aw yay! And that's a pretty ring!"
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If I could have had my way, we wouldn't have "engaged" on Facebook.  FI changed it while I was at work, so it automatically said, "C is no longer in a relationship with T" because I hadn't "accepted" the engagement request on FB yet.  Ridiculous.  So I accepted so the "Are you okay??? What happened?!" questions would stop.  Yes, of course I'm okay - we're "no longer in a relationship" because we're "engaged".  Stupid Facebook. 

    I would have just had "in a relationship" up until we got married and then changed it to "married" and skipped all the lookey-loos popping out of the woodwork when it changed to "engaged".

    If you want to share your ring, I'd suggest uploading the pics to its own album and then carefully select the friends you want it visible to - I'm sure your closest friends and family would love to admire your gorgeous ring!  Speaking of, let's see!!!

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    Anniversary

  • IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We were never even in a relationship on FB until we got married and I asked if he would please accept my request. :) But seriously, I wouldn't worry about it. If you want to have your relationship status public, change it. If you want people to see your ring, do it. Ineveitably a shitton of acquaintances are going to come out of the woodwork to like it and comment but you dont have to explain anything to them. Just say "thanks! We're so happy!" etc.  
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_facebook-ettiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b1c86f80-2bef-4691-85c7-2e30d2563d95Post:15accb10-0245-47e9-badd-bd9f5346fbcd">Re: Facebook Ettiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, I think you're overthinking it! When someone changes their status to "engaged" or puts up a pic of their ring, I don't think "Oh my god what an AW!!!" I think "Aw yay! And that's a pretty ring!"
    Posted by BinxRose[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ditto.  Tons of my FB friends have gotten engaged in the past year or so, and I clearly know the difference between my good friends and my FB friends.  I will like statuses of my friends' rings, or when they change relationship status, or even talk about their wedding, but it's because I'm genuinely happy for them, not thinking they are an AW, or expecting an invite.  </div>
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_facebook-ettiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b1c86f80-2bef-4691-85c7-2e30d2563d95Post:71ae579d-72ed-4421-b103-953f2b433bee">Re: Facebook Ettiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Facebook Ettiquette? : Ditto.  Tons of my FB friends have gotten engaged in the past year or so, and I clearly know the difference between my good friends and my FB friends.  I will like statuses of my friends' rings, or when they change relationship status, or even talk about their wedding, but it's because I'm genuinely happy for them, not thinking they are an AW, or expecting an invite.  
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Same. I love seeing my fb friend's rings nad excitement over their new life adventure... I don't think it's rude (in fact, I felt guilty for posting a pic of my ring on fb a year ago.. but I have a lot of long distance friends and they all asked me to). It doesn't phase me at all... It DOES bug me when people post their registries, however... especially for their 3rd kid.. lol

    </div>
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_facebook-ettiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b1c86f80-2bef-4691-85c7-2e30d2563d95Post:57167216-fff5-4763-88a5-9630d5196daf">Re: Facebook Ettiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Facebook Ettiquette? : Same. I love seeing my fb friend's rings nad excitement over their new life adventure... I don't think it's rude (in fact, I felt guilty for posting a pic of my ring on fb a year ago.. but I have a lot of long distance friends and they all asked me to). It doesn't phase me at all... <strong>It DOES bug me when people post their registries, however... especiall for their 3rd kid.. lol</strong>
    Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]
    Same here. I girl I used to work with and wasn't very close with invited me to her baby shower via Facebook. The description was I have clothes for this age group, I have this and this so I need the following. I was like wow
  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We were in a relationship, engaged, and now married on Facebook statuses. I don't think I was an attention whore.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Same with us, Hike. 
    Zim, no kidding.. haha... It's like my fb friend that eloped and then made an "event" and added everyone to it. When you went to view it was basically a "oh hey, we're married now but here's our registry for you to buy us stuff. It'll only be accessible for a year so .... yeah... " 
    Soooo thoughtful :o
  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_facebook-ettiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b1c86f80-2bef-4691-85c7-2e30d2563d95Post:45ef871c-70fa-49ed-bd19-2f77bbc28200">Re: Facebook Ettiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We were in a relationship, engaged, and now married on Facebook statuses. I don't think I was an attention whore.
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    Ack, open foot insert mouth for me. I totally didn't mean that I think all people who do it are, I have a lot of friends that have and I enjoy seeing all the pics and saying the congrats. I just thought it might be weird because the people I'm close to already know and it happened a while back. Totally didn't mean to insinuate that other people were. I'm making a total "ugh" face thinking that it came off that way. Mea Culpa
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