6 month rule?

mij · November 2010

Hi everyone,
I' m from out of the US and a catholic. My fiance has been trying to fin us a church in the US to get married in in Feb, in Dallas, but is being told it is not possible as you need to book 6 months in advance, as a rule.

What are our options?

Beachy730 · November 2010

I've never heard that rule before. And technically we booked our date only 5 months before the wedding, but we had been talking to the church before that. Is that only one specific church telling him that? It might even just be the area that he is looking in. I would maybe try expanding your search to other counties and churches. Also, is it very important to be married in February? And would you consider getting married outside of the church?

catarntina · November 2010

I think 6 months is pretty standard. The diocese I belong to told me I needed 8-12 months. The diocese I am getting married in requires no less than 6 months. This is to make sure you get through all the pre-cana, and to ensure that you are not just jumping into this whole thing lightly.

Is it possible to get married in April instead of February?

ootmother2 · November 2010

I would try to go further with your FI's church.

My parish has a note in the weekly flyer that you should contact the priest 6 months in advance but it's certainly not carved in stone.

I was married 10 days from the day we announced that we wanted to get married. (no, not pregnant) and my dad was married in the same church with only a few weeks notice. Different priests, different rules.

mica178 · November 2010

It's very parish-dependent. My parish performs few weddings, so there's little competition for specific dates. The harder thing is getting the pre-marital requirements done, especially if you need a dispensation for marrying a non-Catholic or if you have busy schedules and have a hard time finding an Engaged Encounter that works. They might have tougher requirements if you're not already a member of the parish too.

The only way to find out is to start contacting the different church offices in the Dallas area and seeing if someone can work with your timeline.

bibliophile2010 · November 2010

As PPs have said, it is parish and diocese dependent. It is partially to ensure that Marriage Preparation is completed. It is partially to allow adequate time fore paperwork (such as dispensations). IT is partly to ensure that you are not entering marriage lightly. My diocese requires extensive Marriage Prep over 9 months. Others have lighter requirements. I have not heard less than 6 officially in some time, although I have known several couples who were able to marry in less when they were active members of their church.

The best thing to do is talk to people at your church. If it is a diocese rule, they aren't going to be able to do much to bend the rules. If it is a parish rule, there might be more flexibility.

Why does it have to be February? Talking to your priest about your reasons for needing such a quick wedding might make him more willing to work with you, if they are good reasons.

Jay&Marissa · November 2010

Just realized you said you were from out of the US--if it has to do with visa/residency requirements, mention it right off the bat. I know someone else who went through this and the gov does not give you any leeway at all. I think if you mention the restrictions you will find a more sympathetic ear, though some might question why you did not start prepartation further in advance. You might also get questions as to the motivation of your marriage because of the immigration element, so I'm guessing they wont budge on the pre-cana.

[Deleted User] · November 2010

I know some churches say that you need to allow at least 6 months to complete the entire marriage prep process which involves the necessary paperwork, pre-cana and EE if required. Maybe that is what they are trying to say.

DFWIndian · November 2010

Like the DFW girls said you might want to try the church they have. You may want to also try Eastern rite churches (Chinese, Vietnamese, Indian) Most of our churches don't have this rule do to Arrange Marriages. They don't require Pre-cana the way some of the others do. Granted finding a Priest might be an issue unless you use thier parish Priest.

Calypso1977 · November 2010

6 months is usually a guildine becuase they want to ensure you complete all required pre-cana, etc. if the priest doenst know you at all, they may be saying its required, becuase if they dont know you they dont know your perorgative for why you want to get married there, they may not know if you are both catholic, both practicing, etc. the answers to these (and other) questions will most likley determine the level of pre-cana required.

our church says that couples shoudl approach 6 months in advance. we contacted the priest in August, met with him formally in september, and set a date for february. but our precana was just 3 sessions with him after that first meeting and we attend regularly and he knows us.

jesslovespete · November 2010

The Church we're getting married in also said no less than 6 months so we can complete all the pre-cana requirements and because it books up so quickly!

LouWho19 · November 2010

Our church requires 8 months. Sometimes I wish it didn't because I'm getting anxious

But we're about 6 months out now.

sallyanne7 · November 2010

I think each parish is different. A few in our town are 6 months. The one we're getting married at is now one full year in advance, because its so popular!

Kate504 · November 2010

Every church in our area required 6 months. My FI cousin got married in a Baptist church because they didn't want to wait the 6 months.

6 month rule?

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