Pre-Cana in Wilmington

MarinoRabeno · October 2010

We have our first pre cana class this Sunday from 2-5 in Wilmington. Is there anything that we should bring or know before we go? I wasn't raised Catholic, so I'm a little scared of what to expect!

JayElleJayCee · October 2010

I would be nervous too! I'm not Catholic but my FI's family is. We are not getting married in a catholic church or anything so we are not going through any of the classes. I've been to mass a few times and it is soooo confusing! Stand, kneel, respond... I just do what's comfortable to me. But classes are different and I would have no clue in what they involve! Good Luck!!!!

Ms.BriarRose · October 2010

From what I have heard from many, many girls is not to expect much out of it- many times, it's just about NFP. Hopefully though you get a better session.

This is just my personal opinion, but I am very very much of the opinion that even if your church requires any type of pre marital counseling (including pre cana)-mine did- that every couple nowadays needs to do pre-marital counseling on their own. 99% of the time, couples do not learn the coping mechanisms, the correct way to fight (yes there is a correct way), and appropriate dialog for lifes moments- and that is what leads to the high divorce rate we have today.

We did 5 separate sessions with a PhD psychologist, in addition to what our church required. I called it 'fireproofing' our marriage and it was worth every red cent we spent on it. In fact, it was the best money spent on anything wedding or marriage related. We now know things that will get us thru lifes moments- and yes, we use them quite a bit. The techniques taught by life couselors are what saves a marriage- NOT NFP.

But again, this is just my personal opinion. I just get very riled up about it- I have know several couples who knew they needed to do pre-marital counseling, were planning on going, then found out that all the church required was this (catholics and non catholics, but mostly catholics), and said well if that's all they want then that is all we are doing. The really sad thing is, because of their behavior and the type of relationship they have, I can see divorce in their very near future- probably the next ten years. And since most marriages have kids by year 7, well, my heart aches for those kids and the family that could have been spared heartache if they had 'fireproofed' their marriage. And being a product of a broken home, I am very adnamant about couples today doing whatever they can, no matter what is "required" of them, to make sure they are in the minority- the 44% who do make it. If couples did more, imagine where that number could go.

Sorry for the rant, it just really really makes me upset to see more and more broken homes, having been from one, and I don't want any couple or family to have to go thru that.

Bonnie&Clyde77 · October 2010

I totally agree with you Ms (soon to be MRs!!) Briar Rose. My parents are both Catholic, married for 32 years and then dad cheated. Even at 21 a divorce was hard for me to deal with..anyway Im 26 now and finally just getting over it. My future husband and I are lucky enough that we have good communication skills and know how to compromise and talk to each other when angry that I think we will have a happy marriage but we are still going to Pre Cana bc me being Catholic and wanting to follow my religion, will do whats required.

@Marino- My Priest was saying that they have changed the curriculum a bit because so many people are going into marriages not understanding that just because you argue does not mean you have to separate. He said that a lot of the classes are about managing your finances, communication skills, coping skills for stress and learning to compromise and talk to each other. He said there is a small part on religion and how to raise your child whether it be in the same religion or interfaith. Don't worry too much about it though, and don't be afraid to ask questions!

RecoveringActor · October 2010

Marino, let me know how it goes. FI and I opted to do the Engaged Encounter weekend in November rather than the classes. I work every Sunday (and missing 6 days of work at job 2 is not going to fly in retail... my mgr would have my head!) and Wednesday evenings was the only other option, and FI and I work together in advertising FT, and there's no way that we'd get out of work at 5:00 on a Wednesday night.

jennlp1026 · October 2010

Marino...how did it go on Sunday? FI and I opted for the Wednesday night classes. This past week consisted of a speaker (who is a theology teacher from Ursuline) talking to us about the history of marriage and the meaning of love. I liked what he had to say and he kept us engaged while he spoke. My FI says it's the "calm before the storm" so we have no idea what to expect next week. I was just curious what your first (and also your second since you're probably at the 2nd one right now...lol) class was like and if it was comparable to ours.

MarinoRabeno · October 2010

Jennlp-
Our first class was the same as yours! I actually enjoyed it...except the chairs. They were so uncomfortable!!! We didn't have a class yesterday, probably because of Columbus day. Our next class is the 17th, so you'll have the second class before I do! I hope there's no "storm"!

Angela2281 · October 2010

Jennlp - I think I'm in your pre-cana class, and it looks like we're also getting married the same day! That's so funny! Guess we'll see you tomorrow night! I'm nervous about this "interactive" part he mentioned... ha ha ha.

tfinn29 · October 2010

ahhh.. Mr. Peregrino... I had him for theology in High School. Everyone use to opt for his theology classes

Pre-Cana in Wilmington

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