Aisle walking

shaunna2012 · February 2012

I am having major drama with this part of the wedding. I want my mom to walk me down the aisle, she has always been here for me no matter what and we have a bond that means so much to me that this is really important to me. My dad left when I was 17, never said goodbye just moved out. He was always to busy to keep a relationship with me or my sisters. He moved about 1200 miles away about a year after he left my mom. And I would talk to him about 4 times a year on the phone and maybe see him once every 2 to 3 years. this was 10 years ago. Our relationship was never good when he was home anyway but when he left it just got worse. Now that I am getting married, I told him that I wanted mom to walk me down the aisle and they could both give me away. He got very mad and now doesnt want to come. My sisters are mad at me over this because they say I have hurt him by showing him that I dont love him by this decision. I do love my father, but I want my mom by my side. I am completly off base???

renegade gaucho · February 2012

Actually, through his actions over the last 10 years, it's your father who has shown that he doesn't love you. He sounds very self-centered and childish. When he throws a temper tantrum and says he won't come to the wedding, just tell him you're sorry to hear that.

shaunna2012 · February 2012

Thanks, the last week has been hell fighting back and forth. I have came very close to calling off the wedding and just getting married at the court house but that is not fair to me and after all isnt this supposed to be the brides day??

calliopeia2013 · February 2012

I agree- it does not sound like you're in the wrong here. Tell him you love him and would love him to be at the wedding, but that you're having your mom walk you down the aisle.

And tell your sisters that this is between you and your father, and (nicely) to mind their own business.

brittneyh4 · February 2012

It's not just the bride's day... I feel the groom is pretty important

I would nicely tell your sisters to butt out. As for your father, throwing a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants is ridiculous. It's not as if you aren't inviting him. My thought would be he wasn't around when it mattered to you before, why should now be any different, but I'm kind of a callous jerk when it comes to parents who do stuff like this (my own included).

My Dad has thrown a fit and says he won't walk me down the aisle if I don't allow his wife to be there (she is poison, but seriously, I believe she tried to kill me once and has caused a serious rift in our family). I told him I'm sorry he feels that he can't pull away from his wife for a few hours, and to let me know his final decision by the RSVP date like any other guest.

toothpastechica · February 2012

I am adopted and my biological father has only been in my life enough to tell me what he thinks of my biological mother (that she wronged him, that HE would have kept me etc etc). His name came up when talking about which birthfamily should get invited. He got cut. My birthmom however, I do beleive made huge sacrifices in giving me a better life, I am honoring her with my boquet at the reception...I would say inviting him is more then generous if he has not taken intrest in being a significant person in your life. I wouldn't be inclined to try an honor him in any other way. Tell him you would love to him come, but your mom is walking with you, and if doesnt want to come because of this you will miss his presence. Dont be pushed around.

whitney37354 · February 2012

As he hasn't bothered to be around until now, I would treat him as any other wedding guest. If he shows up, he can be escorted to the second row to be seated. Have your mother walk you down the aisle if that's what you want.

Tandra&Devin · February 2012

I have a lot of the same issues with my father, but they've evened out a tad in recent years. I'm not angry at him anymore and I want to keep the peace, so I'm having both him and my mother walk me down the aisle.