Anyone else have a bm who continues to make rude comments?

hmacsine · June 2012

I posted about this bm before. She has made rude comments about me fitting into my dress, venue closing etc. I'm basically dealing with her until after the wedding then I will probably end the friendship. Anyways, I was talking to this chick today and she was complaining about the bm dress. ....I let my bm's choose the dress together... I told her don't complain to me because you along with two other bm picked it! Then this chick said my wedding was going to be ghetto. I was like Umm excuse me?! There is nothing ghetto about my wedding. It isn't extravagant but it's far from ghetto! She said she was just playing but my wedding isn't going to be as nice as her aunts two weddings. Lol where in the hell did that come from? I didn't even respond I just told her I would call her back.

rowenac82 · June 2012

Where do these chicks find the nerve? I have been a BM plenty of times, and there are lots of times when I want to express my dislike for something the bride chooses to do but I just held my tongue. Repeated over and over, it's her day, be nice, you are here to support her not bring her down...

That ghetto comment would have earned her one free pass out of the wedding...smh

MrsBoss2012 · June 2012

Can we PUH-LEASE start a bridesmaid bootcamp?! I'm serious! She is so out of pocket with that one! How dare you say my wedding won't be as nice as so-in-so? Now I do ask them to give me honest critiques so we don't look like clowns but there is certainly a way to express your opinion.

We don't do ghetto weddings on the AAW board so somebody told her wrong!

keysmit · June 2012

First, Take a deeeeeep Breath and breathe..
Secondly, BMs kill me with their personal opinions. I have not yet experienced any of that, but I'm praying that i don't have to.. I suggest two things.. Since you are not feeling the relationship and you plan to end it, i suppose it's not to late to ask her to excuse herself from your wedding. She does not have to be a part of your day since she is being so negative. The other suggestion is talk to your FI and see what he thinks about her and then make a decision. But if you are not happy with her and don't feel the support from her then she can easily be a guest. or not come at all.

footballwife77 · June 2012

whaaaaat!!!! you are BETTER than me! you sure you need her NOW?

You know what though? I have a friend who DOESNT have a filter and is rude by nature. I've accepted her for who she is the 20 years i've known her, so i can't all of a sudden be so judgy of her. So my question to you, has she always been this way, or is this all of a sudden?

[Deleted User] · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_anyone-have-a-bm-who-continues-to-make-rude-comments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:f503575a-9e93-4305-8c32-6185a3b9094bPost:e6ee114b-8bc4-4e45-923c-aeb8cbac29e9">Re: Anyone else have a bm who continues to make rude comments?</a>:
[QUOTE]First, Take a deeeeeep Breath and breathe.. Secondly, BMs kill me with their personal opinions. I have not yet experienced any of that, but I'm praying that i don't have to.. I suggest two things.. <strong>Since you are not feeling the relationship and you plan to end it, i suppose it's not to late to ask her to excuse herself from your wedding</strong>.<strong> <u>She does not have to be a part of your day since she is being so negative</u>. </strong> The other suggestion is talk to your FI and see what he thinks about her and then make a decision. But if you are not happy with her and don't feel the support from her then she can easily be a guest. or not come at all.
Posted by keysmit[/QUOTE]

This, exactly.

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/9/13/495a91f1-3306-428e-9d27-e50880e9dc31.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/9/13/495a91f1-3306-428e-9d27-e50880e9dc31.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

20pearls16 · June 2012

See this is the ish I am talking about. Keep your dang coments to yourself. Who wants to hear all that negativity. WE know your wedding isn't going to be ghetto.

Once again this is why I don't have any bridesmaids.

MissusD1116 · June 2012

See I'm mean, and she would have gotten a few CHOICE words from me and the ending would have been her not being in my wedding!

Carla1019 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_anyone-have-a-bm-who-continues-to-make-rude-comments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:f503575a-9e93-4305-8c32-6185a3b9094bPost:6972750c-9105-4899-8aa8-7da859b4716a">Anyone else have a bm who continues to make rude comments?</a>:
[QUOTE]I posted about this bm before. She has made rude comments about me fitting into my dress, venue closing etc. I'm basically dealing with her until after the wedding then I will probably end the friendship. Anyways, I was talking to this chick today and she was complaining about the bm dress. ....I let my bm's choose the dress together... I told her don't complain to me because you along with two other bm picked it! Then this chick said my wedding was going to be ghetto. I was like Umm excuse me?! There is nothing ghetto about my wedding. It isn't extravagant but it's far from ghetto! She said she was just playing <strong>but my wedding isn't going to be as nice as her aunts two weddings</strong>. Lol where in the hell did that come from? I didn't even respond I just told her I would call her back.
Posted by hmacsine[/QUOTE]

Let me take a guess...she has never had a wedding and/or she don't even have a man? Girl, laugh at that "little girl" and keep it movin. Big girls shut up and support their friends!

keyaira04 · June 2012

Wow, Really? The last comment was uncalled for. You are a good friend to keep dealing with her.

joneka · June 2012

I agree with footballwife...I also have a friend that gave my mom a compliment "I LOVE LOVE your shoes"...then in the same breathe asked her why didnt she wear a yellow dress? My mom is 58 years old..is in cancer remission and looks damn good to have gone through hell and back..most people cant even tell...I told my mom she could wear whatever she wanted..I knew her outfit would be "bad"..and wanted her to feel gorgeous in whatever she chose..she chose a silver dress..baby when I tell you she was bad..she was micheal jackson bad..lol...but all my maid of honor could muster was I love your shoes....and believe me when I say she was the ONLY one!! Everyone else..guest..bridal party..even the photog comments on how pretty my mom was...she felt great..therefore he confidence was super bright which equaled a pretty happy mother..and thats what I wanted..my mom noticed it and called her jealous and a hater..LMAO..

now after the wedding..the jealous monster in back in its cave..were still friends...shes still single..wedding seem to bring out the worst in some people..people you thought were you girls drink the most hater-raide...for some it just the wedding, their feelings of not being with a man, getting older or not getting married but some were jealous before and their real feeling show...you know these ones because usually its happened before but you shrugged it off and let it slide...

hmacsine · June 2012

I think the only reason why I haven't kicked her out is because she is normally a good friend. I'm hoping when the wedding is over things will return to normal. I'm a little upset she can't be happy for me. She isn't married and she is technically in a relationship with someone in jail. He was sentenced to 17 yrs about 4 yrs ago.

Carla1019 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_anyone-have-a-bm-who-continues-to-make-rude-comments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:f503575a-9e93-4305-8c32-6185a3b9094bPost:ce908988-8c81-4dbf-af52-99fb95a9acf1">Re:Anyone else have a bm who continues to make rude comments?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think the only reason why I haven't kicked her out is because she is normally a good friend. I'm hoping when the wedding is over things will return to normal. I'm a little upset she can't be happy for me. <strong>She isn't married and she is technically in a relationship with someone in jail. </strong>He was sentenced to 17 yrs about 4 yrs ago.
Posted by hmacsine[/QUOTE]

Sometimes it is hard for a friend to be happy for you when her life is looking like this!

The BM I am having problems with wants to get married and have a child asap. But all of her relationships have been full of drama.

kaimah · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_anyone-have-a-bm-who-continues-to-make-rude-comments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:f503575a-9e93-4305-8c32-6185a3b9094bPost:f773a5cc-ee57-42a5-8550-b5d173ec14ce">Re:Anyone else have a bm who continues to make rude comments?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Anyone else have a bm who continues to make rude comments? : Sometimes it is hard for a friend to be happy for you when her life is looking like this! The BM I am having problems with wants to get married and have a child asap. But all of her relationships have been full of drama.
Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I have a BM (my older sister) that does not call me back. Will not attend my bridal shower and talks about my wedding negatively to other peoople. I want to kick her out but my mom keeps fighting me. </div>

staten2012 · June 2012

I would ask her to step-down right now. That negativity is contagioussssss......

But that's just what I would do. I'm sorry to hear about grown people behaving this way

mejai1 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_anyone-have-a-bm-who-continues-to-make-rude-comments?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:f503575a-9e93-4305-8c32-6185a3b9094bPost:e6ee114b-8bc4-4e45-923c-aeb8cbac29e9">Re: Anyone else have a bm who continues to make rude comments?</a>:
[QUOTE]First, Take a deeeeeep Breath and breathe.. Secondly, BMs kill me with their personal opinions. I have not yet experienced any of that, but I'm praying that i don't have to.. I suggest two things.. Since you are not feeling the relationship and you plan to end it, i suppose it's not to late to ask her to excuse herself from your wedding. She does not have to be a part of your day since she is being so negative. The other suggestion is talk to your FI and see what he thinks about her and then make a decision. But if you are not happy with her and don't feel the support from her then <strong><u>she can easily be a guest. or not come at all</u></strong>.
Posted by keysmit[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I can't see it getting any better.</div><div>
</div>

Anyone else have a bm who continues to make rude comments?

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