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Just Engaged and Proposals

How do you choose a date?

I recently got engaged and we have been looking in to different items.  I know venues are typically booked 1.5-2 years in advance.  How on earth do you choose a wedding date?  I want a fall rustic wedding so we were looking at Oct 2013 but we're afraid financially that would be too early then we were thinking March/April/October 2014 but It just seems so far away.  Any opinions on how to chose a date or when exactly does one set a date?  Im just worried about a few things including money, not getting the perfect venue, too far away, etc. 

Re: How do you choose a date?

  • It's so different for each person. For us, I teach and summer is easiest, so we knew we'd do either June or July. Got engaged in oct.2010  and wanted a little extra time to plan so decided on July 2011 instead of June. One of H's BMs got married July 9, so we wanted enough time in between. We setlled on July 23.

    As far as waiting an extra year, if you are questioning the finances at all, i would put it off a year. That would be better than being stressed over the money. Venue might not book 2 + years out, but if you have your heart set on one, you can ask how early you might book it. I would definitely start checking into venues/vendors 1-1.5 years out as the popular ones can book up that far in advance.


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  • We based it mainly on budget and season.  We knew how much time we needed to save, and that we wanted the weather to be cool.  We went from there to choose a month and then chose the particular date based on when our venue and photog were both available.

    Budget is really the most important thing, and also double check with your VIPs.
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  • mennonmennon member
    10 Comments
    The way my FI and I choose our wedding date was we had talked about when we would like to get married, then we looked at birthdays and anniversaries in our family, like my sister would turn 16 two days before our first choice date and I can't over shadow her birthday like that and on our last day choice was my grandparents 50th wedding anniversay so we went for the date in the middle of those AUG 24th, 2013!
  • UberBizUberBiz member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited June 2012
    It depends on your situation, really... my FI and I have a kid each, and we'd like to buy a house first and get settled, and we'd be able to budget better for a wedding, so we chose late in 2014, that will give us more than two years. I picked September, because we live in a very northern state, and I'd like something outside, and any later than that would probably be too cold! Also, our dating anniversary is Sept. 17, and would like it on or at least around that date :)
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  • I depends on a few factors. For us it was....

    The weather at that time of year
    How soon we could afford to get married
    The school year


    Plus for me it had to be a saturday that fell on an even number. Thanks OCD...


  • For us, we were ok with getting married sooner and not having the wedding of our dreams. It was either July of this year, making it a 10 month engagement, or July of next year making it a year and 10 months. We didnt' want to wait that long to be together, then we choose the day in July both venues and everyone important could make it. 
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  • Pick your church and reception place - - and once you contact them you will figure out their availability for the month/year you're interested in.
    That should help you get started.
  • there were a few factors

    1) We live in Texas so summer was out
    2) Winter was out becuase you never know when its going to be really cold, and I hate the cold
    3) We have international dates so we knew we needed to give them some notice, so a quick engagement was out
    4) We did NOT want to wait an entire year so Fall 2013 was out
    5) No holiday weddings, we didnt want to compete with Jesus
    6) His mom is an accountant, so April was out
    7) My niece is my maid of hoor, and in college and an athlete,
    So March 23 it is!

    Which works because its 03/23/12 which sounds good and its all prime numbers!

  • We knew we wanted a quick engagement, as FI works on a contract basis that can be up to a few months out of state. Between showers and planning, we wanted to get the wedding behind us so he can get back on a somewhat normal work schedule, instead of only taking one week gige.
    I always wanted to get married in the summer because I LOVE the summer (yes, even in Texas ha), so it was a no-brainer.
    And since it was a short engagement we had very few dates to choose from since we wouldn't budge on the venue.
  • I've always known that I wanted an October wedding. That's about all the thought I had given to a wedding until I got engaged, even then it's taken 6 months to dive into planning! (College, black belt "bootcamp", moving etc.). So what we did, we looked at some venues and pictures online and when we found ones we were somewhat interested in, went and looked at them. Then, when we settled on the venue we looked at their availability. They had no Saturdays available (this was as of May 2012) for October 2013 so we just picked a Friday, it's cheaper anyway! And we'll send out STDs soon enough for people to take Friday off if necessary.
  • For us it was how fast we can save up for it. We purchased a home a few months back and it needed a new roof, paint, and some standard TLC. We both wanted a summer wedding and since our anniversary didn't fall on a weekend we decided to up it a month and go with July of 2013.
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  • It varies for everyone. With me, my fiance' proposed at Christmas, so I knew I wanted to get married in 2012. Come hell or high water I would figure a way to get married within the next year (we had been together for 9 years and are ready for kids). Also we live in Illinois and my fiance' is extremly busy with overtime for work in Spring and Fall so those were immediatly out. I HATE cold winters which left the late summer, (to give me more time to plan, but also so it wasn't July and miserably hot out). Then I picked our caterer (priority) and ceremony venue and had to pick the day they were both available 8 months out! August 17th is our day!
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  • We didn't want a long engagement so this year was pretty much a given (we got engaged August 2011.) Then, I started working in the school system and joined the several teachers in both our families for whom summer is less busy. We live in NYC, which makes wedding planning expensive and a lot of places book up years in advance, especially for summer weddings. Considering we didn't have a ton of money, we went with a weekday wedding so finding vendors and good deals would be easier. Our anniversary this year happens to fall on a Wed so we went with that date (he also proposed on our anniversary so it's always been special to us!)  
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Some people let Church availability drive their date choice.  Some choose a date which works for a specific venue.  There are TONS of reasons for how people choose their wedding date.

    H and I chose our date to work around several family events, a cousin's work travel schedule (he really wanted to be there), and to allow for plenty of time to pay cash for everything.  So, once we decided on the lead time needed, we were within a couple of months of the anniversary of our first date.  Bam!  Decided.

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