Holiday Weekend Wedding? Need honest opinions!

hssweetheartsjckr · September 2011

Hello, all!

To be quite honest, I belong on the "Not Yet Engaged" board, but still had a question I thought to bounce of you ladies.

In your honest opinion, is a wedding over a holiday weekend (such as Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day) rude or acceptable?

Like I said, I'm not engaged yet so we haven't set a date but the both of us are starting to kick around ideas for how we want our special day to be and the idea of a holiday weekend came up, since my boyfriend's family will have to travel from out of town (we live in Iowa, will have to hold the wedding in Minnesota and my boyfriend's family all live on the East Coast). While, on one hand, it gives family from out-of-town another travel day, but, on the other hand, it eats up a holiday weekend when people might already have annual plans AND it may cost more to travel since it's a holiday.

Honest thoughts? I'm all ears!

Steph0871 · September 2011

To be honest, I don't like the idea, for the reasons you mentioned. I like my long holiday weekends to be mine, especially in the summer.

That being said- you know your guest list best. If you think they'll appreciate the extra travel time, go for it. Just be prepared for more 'no' RSVPs than average.

Cackle6 · September 2011

My wedding is the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. For us, we both know that our families do not have long standing Memorial Day plans, and most of our friends don't either, so we were fine with it. Also, since all of his family and friends will be coming from out of town, they all appreciated having the extra travel day. So I think it really depends on your family/friends and if you know a lot of them have plans, then I would hold of on picking that day. For me, I know that a lot more of my family/friends have plans around 4th of July, so I would not have picked that weekend. I also did kind of take a general word of mouth poll with my family and close friends that I knew would be invited, and went off of that as well.

ETA: I was on this board when I was NEY as well, so I've been in your spot.

These ladies were all very nice to me so don't be shy about saying hello more often!

MaggieandJake · September 2011

Personally, unless you're a pretty good friend, or a relative I'm close to and see often, I would probably decline a holiday weekend wedding. I covet my long weekends and we really enjoy spending them will all of our friends. That being said, if everyone in our social circle were going, then it wouldn't be a big issue.

P.S. I also live in Iowa (West Des Moines) and got married in Minneapolis

khornbach · September 2011

I think it depends which holiday weekend. I think that Fourth of July is pretty sacred but Columbus day is not as important. I would think about if you would be okay attending a wedding that weekend.

SuperRNluvsChef · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_holiday-weekend-wedding-need-honest-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:7457d6a0-5245-4fc9-9ee8-3f012e862c15Post:675f6d66-0dfe-4552-b2c2-39428a214815">Re: Holiday Weekend Wedding? Need honest opinions!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it depends which holiday weekend. I think that Fourth of July is pretty sacred but Columbus day is not as important. I would think about if you would be okay attending a wedding that weekend.
Posted by khornbach[/QUOTE]

Ditto this. I'd be far more likely to attend a Memorial of Labor day weekend wedding over 4th of July. But then again it depends on whose wedding it is.

TaffetaDarlingTaffeta · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_holiday-weekend-wedding-need-honest-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:7457d6a0-5245-4fc9-9ee8-3f012e862c15Post:039ff02c-9389-4cd4-abb4-db38561f94a5">Re: Holiday Weekend Wedding? Need honest opinions!</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally,<strong> unless you're a pretty good friend, or a relative I'm close to and see often, I would probably decline a holiday weekend wedding.</strong> <strong>I covet my long weekends and we really enjoy spending them will all of our friends. </strong> That being said, if everyone in our social circle were going, then it wouldn't be a big issue. P.S. I also live in Iowa (West Des Moines) and got married in Minneapolis :)
Posted by MaggieandJake[/QUOTE]

<div>But aren't these the kind of people that get invited anyway? Moral of the story, don't invite strangers... :)</div><div>
</div><div>Pick a date that works for you and don't worry about it. No matter what, there are going to be conflicts regardless if it's a holiday weekend or not. Although I would steer clear of the major ones like X-mas of course.</div><div>
</div><div>For our Labor Day weekend wedding our crew seemed to like the extra travel day. Quite a few didn't have much PTO left so it worked well for our guest's circumstances. And personally, it was nice to have that extra day to hang out before returning to work or at least a paid holiday to boot. Additionally, the affair was at a park all day so it didn't seem so different from a standard long weekend to-do.</div><div>
</div><div>A friend of my husband's asked me if I was having the wedding over Labor Day weekend so that not as many people would show up. It never occurred to me that one would think of that. But, I figured if people care to come and they can, they will. I kind of got where she was coming from. But, in the end, everybody showed up except people who wouldn't of made a journey anyway. Like ancient great uncles.... Oh, and she was there. :)</div>

SSaltzman87 · September 2011

It could really go either way. I'd poll random friends and family members to see what they'd think.

We're thinking of having the wedding the saturday before the 4th of July because a lot of my OOT family will be in town anyway for the 4th, and why not have it all at once so no matter what- a second trip wouldn't need to be made for any of them. My family absolutely LOVED that idea. It also helps that most of our family and friends are already here in MN.

FutureMrsS13 · September 2011

Honestly its up to you. We are planning to have our wedding June 29th. Which is less then a week before the 4th of july!. Although it works for me and i actually have family all around the US and every year they come for 4th of july so it works for us!. Plus that day is special to us already. So worked well.

I think it depends on your own situation and who you feel is important that is there

Im sure whe you decided on a date it will be PERFECT!

The people that mean the most and want to be there will!

wittyschaffy · September 2011

Yep - totally depends on your guest list. I knew I couldn't have a summer wedding because my "cabin people" family would absolutely make my life hell for having to give up a weekend and if I ever wanted to speak to any of them again, I couldn't even dream of planning over one of the summer holidays. I don't really like having to skip a "normal" weekend of lake time to stay in town for events (weddings included) either, just because summer is so short in MN and it goes by so fast!

trixie549 · September 2011

Personally, I wouldn't attend a wedding over the 4th of July weekend, because that's a prime summer weekend at the cabin! Memorial Day and Labor Day weekends are a bit more flexible without set plans, but unless it was a very close friend or family member, I'd skip it.

maybe984 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_holiday-weekend-wedding-need-honest-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:7457d6a0-5245-4fc9-9ee8-3f012e862c15Post:8577ecd6-531a-4e9a-afb9-358e0d3fac5e">Re: Holiday Weekend Wedding? Need honest opinions!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Weekend Wedding? Need honest opinions! : Ditto this. I'd be far more likely to attend a Memorial or Labor day weekend wedding over 4th of July. But then again it depends on whose wedding it is.
Posted by SuperRNluvsChef[/QUOTE]

Same here, I think it depends on which holiday. I've actually been to a couple of Labor Day Weekend weddings, and I kind of dig them. I don't feel like I'm giving up as much of my weekend when I have a whole extra day left. However, I'd be less thrilled about Memorial Day or 4th of July (in the event it was even adjacent to a weekend, I think next year it's a Wednesday...) being stolen away.

My wedding was the Sunday before Columbus Day last year (10/10) and if anything, it helped a few extra people make it that might not have otherwise made it to a Sunday wedding (although not many employers consider that a holiday anyway...).

Poll the people closest to you, pick a date, and stick with it. Someone is going to find a way to disagree with any date you choose, so you just have to live with it. The people that really matter will be there. Hell, we got an inordinate amount of grief for the fact that our ceremony was during the second half of a Packers game... but people still came. I'm pretty sure some of DH's uncle's were checking the score on their phones while we said our vows, but I can live with that :-)

PaddyB · September 2011

I got married over labor day weekend (on teh Sunday) and it worked out perfectly for my needs. All of my family was coming in from the east coast, and none of my family has set labor day plans that were interrupted. We may have lost one or two of our friends, becuase of the weekend but family is way more important to me and this made it easier on everyone.

Also, I have been to a labor day weekend wedding before and loved it, mainly becuase of the extra travel time. I think any time you have a large percentage of you guests coming in from out of town it is something to strongly consider.

AETS26 · September 2011

I thought Labor Day weekend would be great until I asked some of my relatives. They did not like the idea at all. That weekend is the last long weekend of the summer, and also right before many schools start (a busy time, esp. for anyone going back to college or moving kids in!), and many people want to either take a trip that weekend or just spend it relaxing.

EmilyW416 · September 2011

I think ask your friends/fam and see what they say.

for me though IDK I think it would be hard FI aunts, uncles ect go campling on most Holiday weekends

shan87 · September 2011

We got married the Sat. over Memorial wknd. We had to have a holiday weekend wedding (My husband is in the military) so we picked the first 3 day wknd with nice weather..... and it worked out really well for us. People either came back from the cabin or didn't attend. It really allowed us to have the people who care about us the most there. I have no hurt feelings for those that didn't make it.

We did get a couple RSVP that stated "count them in, unless the weather is nice"

AshP12 · September 2011

I would personally stay away from holiday weekends. IMO, if his relatives are coming from as far as the East Coast, they're most likely going to stay more than a long weekend anyway (at least I would, if I was going to come all that way).

Another thing to consider is that you're in Iowa and planning to have the reception here in MN....not sure how many MN guests you'll be having, but I can tell you that a three-day weekend in this state means going to the lake or Up North for a LOT of people even if they don't have specific annual plans (and most people I know don't give up lake weekends for a wedding).

It might come down to splitting the difference: if it's on a long weekend, the MN people might not show but more East coasters will.

MaggieandJake · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_holiday-weekend-wedding-need-honest-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:7457d6a0-5245-4fc9-9ee8-3f012e862c15Post:94414d34-fba0-404c-ad75-4c37ac8e4e28">Re: Holiday Weekend Wedding? Need honest opinions!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Holiday Weekend Wedding? Need honest opinions! : But aren't these the kind of people that get invited anyway? Moral of the story, don't invite strangers... :)
Posted by TaffetaDarlingTaffeta[/QUOTE]

<div>yes, I agree with this, but I've also been invited to weddings of friends from college who I don't really see any more, or from family members (cousins, etc) who I don't even see once a year-in that case, I'd be less likely to give up a long weekend to go to those weddings, but would otherwise probably attend any other weekend. </div><div>
</div><div>now that I re-read that, it sounds really bad, but it is the truth...</div>

Jenners16 · January 2012

I am thinking about having my wedding the Sunday of Labor Day weekend. My family is Jewish and we are considering having a rabbi, which wouldn't be realistic on a Saturday. Almost everyone is coming from out of town so we figured it would be nice to have the extra travel day. But I guess now I should poll my friends before setting the date in case they are considering skipping it for the "cabin"... I really hadn't even thought of this.

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