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Parent trouble

KK1039KK1039
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in Moms and Maids
Me entire family is from the Hawaiian islands and my parents are both very proud of this. When I first started dating Michael they really didn't approve because he isn't from Hawaii. He moved there for work and that was how we met. My parents eventually got use to him and they now love him to death.
We are starting to have slight issues again though because Michael and I don't want to go with the traditional Hawaiian wedding. We are going to keep some of the traditions, just not all of them. My parents are determined though to make sure that our wedding is just like theirs (it followed every Hawaiian tradition you could think of). I love my parents dearly but I keep trying to tell them that that is not what Michael and I want. How do I get them to listen?
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Re: Parent trouble

  • kaitlyn&henrykaitlyn&henry member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had similar problems with my parents wanting all polish catholic traditions...and they did pay for majority of the wedding. BUT with that said ( and i know a lot of posters wont agree) I think they should get a lot of say, but not FINAL say in anything.

    Because they are paying i think compromise is a definite. And remember weddings are about you and your FI but also about family and everyone invloved (which was a struggle for me to come to terms with). So consider incorporating what you can...I fought with my parents tooth and nail which made the planning horrible and tense. In the end, all that matters on that day is your FI is there becoming your husband--we look back and laugh now at some of the ridiculous traditions but it made my mother happy and honestly all the fighting wasnt worth it at all.

    But it is your wedding and im sure there is a way to make everyone happy.---maybe if it means having all of the typical traditions explained (even the ones you arent doing) in a picture frame on your tables. idk just trying to think of something! :)

    but out of curiosity...is it a time issue to not include the traditions? Or is it just not your style as a couple?
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  • KK1039KK1039
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
     Thank you both for your help. For the wedding my FI and I are paying for a little over 3/4 of it. My parents are paying the rest. I really want my parents to be happy but at the same time some of the things they want are the exact opposite of what my FI and I are going for. We definitely want to keep some of the Hawaiian tradition (Leis, parts of the ceremony, the food, and some of the music.) Part of the reason we don't want to include all of the traditions is because neither of us want a big, long, intricate wedding which tends to be what comes from having all of the Hawaiian traditions. Also, Michael isn't Hawaiian and he doesn't feel completely comfortable doing the entire Hawaiian wedding, even though he would never tell my parents that.

    Again, thank you so much.
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