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Say it isn't so....

Carla1019Carla1019
1000 Comments
in African American Weddings

Last update on my BM that is no longer in my wedding. I'm through even wasting my energy talking about this ITSH.

So she paid her deposit and never came back for the final fitting. Even when I offered her a ride and told her if she needed anything just let me know. She never communicated with me and deep down I don't think she really wanted to support me while her life is a mess.

So I get a text with her asking about the money she put down for the deposit for the dress. Um... if you don't follow through on your commitment you lose your deposit. right?

Anyway, I want her out of my life and I'm done. I will pay her back AFTER the wedding, but I just can't believe some people. Also, when we were younger she owed me hundreds of dollars that she never paid back and I let it go. So funny how easily she forgets....

Wedding date July 7, 2012
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Re: Say it isn't so....

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    good morning Carla.

    Um, girl why does she get her deposit back at all?   Ain't trying to sound OG about it but that's between her and the dress shop.
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  • footballwife77footballwife77 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_say-it-isnt-so?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2d7405c1-b55a-40c0-8cc9-171f64755453Post:3495841f-9fe1-4d25-ae38-669ff64f41ce">Re: Say it isn't so....</a>:
    [QUOTE]good morning Carla. Um, girl why does she get her deposit back at all?   Ain't trying to sound OG about it but that's between her and the dress shop.
    Posted by sultryzulu[/QUOTE]

    I agree with sultry. Would the dress shop be giving her her $$$ back? I wouldnt be coming out my pocket for it. thats her fault.
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  • saharnshardsaharnshard
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_say-it-isnt-so?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2d7405c1-b55a-40c0-8cc9-171f64755453Post:3495841f-9fe1-4d25-ae38-669ff64f41ce">Re: Say it isn't so....</a>:
    [QUOTE]good morning Carla. Um, girl why does she get her deposit back at all?   Ain't trying to sound OG about it but that's between her and the dress shop.
    Posted by sultryzulu[/QUOTE]

    That's what I'm saying. It's not your fault that she's trifflin.
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  • Carla1019Carla1019
    1000 Comments
    I agree, she doesn't deserve her money back but I'm willing to pay it to get her out of my life and have peace!
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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  • 20pearls1620pearls16 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its

    She should get a store credit like everyone else.

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  • pearls687pearls687 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    All of the above!
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  • HardyLove222HardyLove222 member
    100 Comments
    I agree with all of the above. A deposit is what it is. She should work that out with the store.
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  • Carla1019Carla1019
    1000 Comments

    The dresses are being custom made by a seamstress.

    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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  • 20pearls1620pearls16 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_say-it-isnt-so?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2d7405c1-b55a-40c0-8cc9-171f64755453Post:6781f641-b014-461e-8e6a-928cb7ec765e">Re: Say it isn't so....</a>:
    [QUOTE]The dresses are being custom made by a seamstress.
    Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]

    <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />
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  • MrsBoss2012MrsBoss2012
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Aww Carla...I can understand you wanting to just pay her back to be done with her. Sometimes that or forfeit money owed just to be done with someone is worth the peace of mind.

    I hope it isn't too much Frown
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  • 7E&G77E&G7
    100 Comments
    Carla1019 good for you, and I understand wanting the peace of mind but guess what this is real life and you shouldn't pay for anything. Your BM knew her responsibilities before she took on the task so she need's to now pull on her big girl undies and deal. I say don't give her a dime or anymore of your time to even explain why you aren't paying her back.
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  • RealHappyGalRealHappyGal member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    If u kicked her out she wanted to stay, u shld see that she gets her back. If she quit, it's her issue. Imo
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  • msbdumasmsbdumas member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    I agree on both ends.. I would give her the money back for the peace of mind but then she knew all along she didn't want to be there for you that's her fault she paid..I wouldn't be paying her back especially if she dropped out and didn't get kicked out !
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  • Carla1019Carla1019
    1000 Comments
    Thanks everyone. Technically, I kicked her out after she missed 4 appointments to be fitted and the seamstress deadline has passed. We are not her only clients. So with 16 days left until the wedding I had to draw a line in the sand somewhere and tell BM that she didn't do what was needed to be done and now it is too late.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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  • Yolie1098Yolie1098
    100 Comments
    She still would have to go to the dress shop for a refund..........if any.
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  • Demi&JasonDemi&Jason
    10 Comments
    Wow. Drama you do not need at this point. I see how people can be so unsupportive when they have the shambles going on in their lives...but that is no excuse! Too bad about the deposit that is not your problem but your'e right, its probably a small price to pay to get rid of a dead beat 'friend'.
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  • MissusD1116MissusD1116 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_say-it-isnt-so?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2d7405c1-b55a-40c0-8cc9-171f64755453Post:9b51e433-65ba-43eb-ad75-854a52a6978e">Re: Say it isn't so....</a>:
    [QUOTE]She should get a store credit like everyone else.
    Posted by 20pearls16[/QUOTE]

    I cannot with you at all! LOL...you right though!
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  • MrsJenretteMrsJenrette
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_say-it-isnt-so?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2d7405c1-b55a-40c0-8cc9-171f64755453Post:a11b1951-e333-46e5-950d-2b3c75806ed1">Re: Say it isn't so....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree, she doesn't deserve her money back but I'm willing to pay it to get her out of my life and have peace!
    Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]

    Girl This!!..

    I had to do the same thing for a BM (someone who I considered to be a VERY close friend, and was there/the first person to know that we had gotten engaged!) who lied to me to get out of being in the wedding.

    The only difference, was that I found someone to replace her and used the dress that she had already ordered... I was initally going to pay her for the entire dress.. but once my SIL had to get alterations, and I found out that homegirl was lying!.. I only paid her 1/2 of what I said.. and even then she had to nerve to basically harass me for the money.. even AFTER I explained to her that not only were we wiped out due to the wedding, but we needed to get a new car because Hubby was in an accident and totalled it the week of the wedding!..
    Anywho.. I gave her the money when I felt like I had it to give.. unfriended her on FB, and haven't called her at ALL (even though the calling had stopped a while back).. and you know what.. that heifa hasn't called me to even ask if I was breathing.. and I'm fine with it.. It will keep you in PERFECT peace after getting rid of her!..lol
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  • mejai1mejai1
    500 Comments
    one more cosigner here. I'm about as nice as they come, but you're already spending a crapload on the wedding. Given that she has a history of bailing on money owed, consider this your way of being done... and don't be worrying about what you think she will think about you afterwards!~
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