XO religion discussion

right1thistime · April 2012

xo- I don't oppose your beliefs or your "right" to post as you did. I am opposed to censorship, so if you interpret my comments as attemtping to censor you, you misunderstand. Nor did I take what you posted as directed at me, I do not live in an egocentric existence. I stated my personal situation in support of my own statements, not in opposition to yours.

Previously on this board, a number of strongly religious posters became quite adamant and insulting to people whose faith/ religion did not match their measure of acceptable. The situation became highly inflammatory, and very uncomfortable. My comments reflect that experience here.

I wholeheartedly adore a great debate. I prefer to take the debate out of someone's individual question/ concern/ situation. The debate about whether God is a black and white fellow (or if in fact- God is even a fellow) would best be had outside of her post, to preserve the OP's ability to get a response. ~Donna

right1thistime · April 2012

I agree that her integrity and moral compass are suspect. I would assert that she signed the divorce agreement of her free will, and now that the possibility exists to have her cake and eat it too, she has miraculously found a spiritual aversion to compliance.

xobride · April 2012

I would have never signed something that prevented me from remarrying for that long. If she's been engaged for a year and has 6 more to go before she can remarry without losing the pension, that's at least 7 years and you can conservatively factor in another year or two in between. If it was truly meant to be in place of spousal support, then the max you can get here in Texas is 3 years. If her job skills were so poor because of staying home (which I can totally relate to) then why not do something to improve them? If she stayed home before on just her ex's income, surely with her new beau's income she could find something to do to contribute and her expenses are less now that she doesn't have children at home. Wanting that money is a far cry from truly needing it.

right1thistime · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_xo-religion-discussion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:6debd1ea-a3c1-4aaa-aaaf-a6ee6b593f69Post:c5c0652b-6e16-4b57-96b3-0eba6c343a25">Re: ***XO*** religion discussion</a>:
[QUOTE]@handfast4me and others, the whole point of the post in question was that the person wanted to have a Christian blessing (meaning she considers herself a Christian) but wanted that blessing over a union that doesn't follow the word of the God that Christians serve. To simply state what the word says, even quoting scripture isn't being preachy, it's simply stating what the word says. And let us not forget the most important fact here, the OP ASKED! Her original question was what one of us would think if someone sent us an invitation to such an occasion under her circumstances and that's what she was told. I really get sick and tired of seeing people get accused of being preachy, overbearing or even ignorant for expressing a Christian point of view. Not just on this forum, but in the world at large. I understand that there are some seriously derranged people out there who commit atrocities in the name of God and I hate that they do that, but please don't come at another Christian as if they were that kind of person when all they're doing is expressing their opinion or quoting what the book we believe to contain the word of God says. That makes the person just a much of a bigot as the people they were attacked by in years past. It burns me up as much or more than nonChristians when people who profess themselves to be Christians do things that are so unchristlike, but to judge us all by the actions of crackpots who are obviously not who they say they are is the same as me deciding that all white people must be thugs because a white person robbed me one day. The Christian religion is made up of individuals who may or may not practice their faith the way the word syas they're supposed to, just as is any other religion.
Posted by mdeidre[/QUOTE]
Your entire post is a unidimensional view of Christianity as well. I may have a faith tradition that is based on the teachings of Christ, but my world view is so much broader. I am open to all forms of religion, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Taoism, Paganism, etc. I do not believe that my beliefs are the only real beliefs, despite being taught that within the formal religious training. I know so many people who practice as I do.
The OP in that post never said she was Christian in her original post. She spoke of her faith and her church. The responder assumed she was Christian, and told her what God wanted her to do. I, personally bristle at anyone telling someone else what God thinks or wants. And God as male is truly a component of the traditional church structure that bothers me. My God is beyond gender.

Even when I agree with the view, I am opposed to the rationale behind it being based in religion. There is plenty of basis in human morals and integrity, that is far less controversial.

xobride · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_xo-religion-discussion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:6debd1ea-a3c1-4aaa-aaaf-a6ee6b593f69Post:ab25e425-53ab-4301-8bdc-baabec155838">Re: ***XO*** religion discussion</a>:
[QUOTE] The OP in that post never said she was Christian in her original post. She spoke of her faith and her church. The responder assumed she was Christian, and told her what God wanted her to do[/QUOTE]

She said they had researched what the Bible said on the matter. Last time I checked, the Bible was a Christian book, not Jewish, Hindu, or anything other religion. I responded with the the Bible says in reference to what she is planning to do. Additionally, and I may be ignorant on this so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but no other faith refers to their place of worship as "church." Synagogue, mosque, temple, but to my knowledge, Christians are the only ones who use "church."

2dBride · April 2012

boaznruth: I'm in the same situation as you (and I suspect we may share the same religion). At our wedding, the participants (a/k/a guests, since every guest had a part in the ceremony) consisted of:

* 7 Jews.
* 2 Catholics
* 1 Protestant
* 2 Pagans
* 2 atheists

Our pagan friends joked about our having an 8-foot "chalupa" (by which they meant chuppah) at our wedding. We joked that our ketubah would burst into flames when our friend the Wiccan priest signed. And one of the Catholic guests was thrilled to find out that he was allowed to keep his kippah from the ceremony. But the only real difference the religion of our guests made was that the Jews gave the blessings assigned to them in both Hebrew and English, while the blessings assigned to nonJews were said by the rabbi in Hebrew and the guest in English.

So yes, if you've got popcorn over there, please pass it my way!

right1thistime · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_xo-religion-discussion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:6debd1ea-a3c1-4aaa-aaaf-a6ee6b593f69Post:9f9975df-cc15-43c0-8242-92bdbff96676">Re: ***XO*** religion discussion</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ***XO*** religion discussion : She said they had researched what the Bible said on the matter. Last time I checked, the Bible was a Christian book, not Jewish, Hindu, or anything other religion. I responded with the the Bible says in reference to what she is planning to do. Additionally, and I may be ignorant on this so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but no other faith refers to their place of worship as "church." Synagogue, mosque, temple, but to my knowledge, Christians are the only ones who use "church."
Posted by xobride[/QUOTE]

You may be right. I hadn't perceived it that way. However, she said that they read the Bible for a historic view, and I perceived that as opposed to a spiritual guidance view. My perception was that she did NOT share your fervor.

And I am not bashing what you said, but disagreeing with the basis upon which you based it. I am really not sure how to make it clear. I guess it sounded preachy and holier than thou, <strong>to me</strong>. When I perceive that approach, I blister in response. Not just here, everywhere. Including in a church, temple, synagogue, mosque, kingdom hall, meeting house, etc. The most inspiring religious leaders I have heard are those who, like boazruth said, focus on their own religious imperfections.

ETA: everything after the screen froze.

handfast4me · April 2012

Yeah, and morals and ethics are worth something, too, but that's an "intangible" that so many people lack.

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