bride and groom see each other before the ceremony? input welcome!

berkleighsmom · November 2010

Originally I wanted to go the traditional route of not letting my fiance see me until I walk down the aisle. A month ago one of my friends got married and they decided to have a private visit with each other before the ceremony. Well semi-private since their photographer was there. The photographer wrote about it on her blog and how special that time is compared to having everyone staring at you when the two of you first see each other. It got me thinking...
We are getting married at the same place as the reception and planned on taking pictures after the ceremony before joining everyone at the reception. I know that is not unheard of but I think it would be nice to not have to delay the reception and dinner too much. Especially since we are not having appetizers. We are having cocktails but not apps and we all know how alcohol works with an empty stomach. Beyond those reasons, I like the idea of spending some quiet private time with my fiance before the ceremony. I am worried that it will take away from the big moment when I walk down the aisle. I am really hoping to get advice from ladies who are already married. Did you see each other before? Do you regret it or would you do it again? If you went the traditional route, are you happy with that choice and why. Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

Pirata13 · November 2010

H & I stuck with tradition and did not see each other before. We really both agreed that we wanted to save that moment. And I am so glad we did. I just can't describe it. But walking down the aisle past our families and friends and getting to the end and having him just say WOW, it was great. We weren't really nervous, we were so excited, so we just wanted to savor that moment. And H's description of seeing me that first moment...yeah, I just think it wasn't for us at all to do it beforehand.

We had a photo order set so that once we finished the ceremony, we could get on with the photos and get to the hall by a certain time. Worked very well. We let people know ahead who we wanted to stay for photos in the church, so there was no hunting people down. We got to the hall 10 or 15 minutes ahead of where we wanted to be timewise!

MissOwl · November 2010

I would like to advocate the 'first look'. I am not engaged yet, but I already plan to do this. My SO and I are inseparable as it is so I can't imagine being apart all day. I can think of nothing better or more special than having a first look and getting to spend a few private moments together (probably giggling about how we're about to get married). If you're a private couple like we are, the intimacy of this moment could be exactly what you want/need.

golden1215 · November 2010

H and I did a first look, captured by photog and everything, but it was before the ceremony. We was still in awe of me and it was nice to get some pre-ceremony photos done so we had more time afterwards for other things.

Side note: I've known people who waited for the aisle first look and the groom cant necessarily see you well enough (depending on the church/venue) from that far away so his first look that a photog catches is him squinting or something else unflattering.

ktelfer · November 2010

A bunch of my friends who have gotten married did the pictures first and had the "private moment" together when they first saw eachother. They all said they were really happy they did it that way becuause it give you a chance too cool your nerves and it speeds up the wedding.

Personally, my FI and I are doing the same thing. I didn't want to have to rush the photos and be preoccupied with wanting to see my guests while taking pictures and I have been know to overreact to situations and I know that seeing my FI before the ceremony will help with the nerves and it will be nice to have a quite moment before everyone is trying to pull us in 20 different ways.

If you guys are cool with breaking tradition, I would totally recomed it!

berkleighsmom · November 2010

Thank you, ladies! I really appreciate your feedback. Now it's going to be really tough to decide since everyone has great points! We still have time to think about it and decide. My photographer is really cool so I think I will ask him for feedback as well. He may have an idea about how past brides felt. In response to your post, artbyallie, I have spoken to my fiance about it. He (like me) is okay with either way. That is why I posted this. We can make the decision together but it's nice to know what other people experienced and how they feel about it. It's kind of one of those things that you can't really picture.

Again, thank you for all of your input. I have a lot to consider!

Soon2BeMrsTing · November 2010

We did the "first look" photos, and here are some reasons I'm so glad we did:

1. We made time for a two-hour "pre-ceremony shoot" and went to gardens, a favorite chidlhood museum with dinosaur skeletons and Old Campus at Yale for our backgrounds. It's so fun to have all those pics of just the two of us.

2. The "first look" was a private moment for us, and it's preserved perfectly forever because the photographer was able to get just the right angle. DH did an actual double take when he saw me, and the photographer got it!

3. We did just the bridal party photos between the ceremony and reception, which took no time at all and gave us more time with our guests.

4. Spending those hours shooting with DH totally calmed our nerves before the ceremony.

5. Even with a "first look" shoot, DH was still emotional as I was coming down the aisle to him- and we have that captured too.

I say go for the first look!

Denise91980 · November 2010

DH and I saw each other before the ceremony and we are glad we did it this way. The photographer made everyone go inside the venue while he did the reveal and first-look shots. Honestly, that was our only "sanity" time alone through the whole day and evening and it was totally worth it. If I could do it all over again, I would've done it the same. Aside from that, the BP and our families were able to eat and enjoy themselves during cocktail hour.

jemmini6 · November 2010

It's kind of hard to get opinions of 'regret' or not because no one wedding can have it both ways, so essentiall, no one can tell you which they liked better, just why they chose to do it the way they did.

My FI are choosing to go the traditional route. I've just always imagined the first time my fiance (and guests) saw me in my dress is coming down the aisle and knowing that my walk back will be as his wife. We are actually having 2 photographers so it makes getting all of our shots easier. Our ceremony is also at 4PM, which means that we will be doing our Bride/Groom shots right at sunset, which we both really wanted.

It really is a personal decision and there are definitely pros and cons to each, so you just have to figure out what your priorities are for that day and take everything else into consideration to make your decision.

SaraD7 · November 2010

We are sleeping in the same room the night before the wedding so he will see me that morning. Then I will have the room to myself ( We are having a destination wedding) and he will go to a separate room to get ready. So I will see him before, but not where I am all ready and pritty looking

SuMmErKuTiE · November 2010

We did a first look/private reveal and agree it was the best decision we made. It calmed our nerves, and it was a really tender private moment for just the 2 of us. Plus our photographer and videographer captured the moment. We were able to get our pictures done and mingle with our guests more since we were able to attend cocktail hour. It took absolutely nothing away from my walk down the aisle, and I burst into tears again as I approached DH.

sb9411 · November 2010

Many people do a first look. It is nice because you can spend time in the cocktail hour and not worry about taking too many pictures at that time. I think it is nice. In some cultures, the bride and groom MUST see each other before the ceremony!

SoonToBeMrsB2011 · November 2010

Were doing a first look to save time with pics and to calm our nerves. I went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago and they did a first look, they still got emotional at the actual wedding.

junebug62511 · November 2010

The first look sounds like a great idea, but I am sticking with the traditional route-although I just realized I won't be wearing my glasses and I don't wear contacts sooo my first look at him might not be untill I am 5 feet away!
Anway, I know that seeing him will make me very emotional- I cry for everything and I can't help it- therefore I do not want to see him so I will not be ruining my makeup before we take pictures or I walk down the aisle.

MMRoberts11 · November 2010

My FI and I are planning on having a first look shoot with a videographer present too (if we get one). Him and I thought it would be great to see each other before hand (so he isn't squinting to see me and trying to dodge heads to get a full glimpse). We are planning on having him turned around and when I get a few feet away have him face me and have the photographer get a shot of his face. Plus that way if one of us starts crying it will be ok and our vows won't be us babbling through all the tears (we are writting our own)... or at least help limit this.

bride and groom see each other before the ceremony? input welcome!

Re: bride and groom see each other before the ceremony? input welcome!

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