African American Weddings

VENT: Bridesmaid drama from Non Bridesmaid!!

I figured that the folks on this board can appreciate this type of nonsense. One of my bridemaid's called me yesterday to give me a heads up. She said another friend of mine called our other mutual friend and had her on the phone for 2 hours after 1 hour of texting back and forth. The disgruntled friend feels as though I should have called her to let her know that she is not a bridesmaid. She also said that I'm very short with her every time she asks about the wedding and she feels that our friendship is slipping away. She also feels that her mother should be invited to the wedding.

The disgruntled friend and I went to hs together. She used to date my fiancee's cousin and we met through them. Initially, she was hating and did not want us to meet but FI's cousin made it happen. She couldn't stand FI and he still does not like her. She has since reconciled her negative feelings towards him.

I just can't believe that someone would keep another person on the phone for two hours with this foolishness!! This woman is almost 30 years old, still acting like we're in hs!! I understand that she may be hurt by not having been chosen as a BM but she was definitely on the short list. I was recently thinking of asking her to be a hostess, but not after all of this. Who ever heard of calling someone to tell them that they are Not in your wedding?? That just sounds ridiculous to me. That sounds like I'd be creating drama for no reason. I am flattered that someone reallly wants to be in my wedding, but I thought that that was my choice to make. I don't know how she knows whether or not her mother has been invited cuz save the dates haven't even gone out yet!! I feel like she should have called me directly if she had all these concerns.

I am sorry for wasting folks's time with this, but I just couldn't believe that a grown a-- woman could be so petty!! Is it just me, or is this ridiculous??

Thank you for allowing me to vent!

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Re: VENT: Bridesmaid drama from Non Bridesmaid!!

  • desi2002desi2002 member
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    edited December 2011
    nope you are right it is absolute nonsense and dont get involved. The battle is not yours... its the Lord's
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  • edited December 2011
    I understand her being disappointed, but you are the grand scheme of things the way she handled this is ridiculous. If you want to resolve it now, call her and address it calmly. However, if you don't care to deal with it at this time, just see if it will blow over. I don't really understand the concept of calling to tell someone that they are NOT in your wedding as well. What if they really weren't even expecting it? It would be very awkward!
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  • edited December 2011

    i fully agree with you... somepeople just want to cause drama as if planning a wedding isn't enough work already...  you should address the matter though and salvage the friendship if it is is worth saving.. rememeber weddings ought to bring family and friends closer not divide.... let your wedding be a unifier(if that's a word) lol

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  • adgenyaadgenya member
    edited December 2011
    wow...i can't believe this. I can understand being disappointed, but not to the point where I am complaining for 2 hours. And what were you supposed to do, call her and say "you know, I chose my bridal party and you aren't one of them. I'm sorry you just didn't make the cut. But I hope to see you at the wedding!" That would've been rude.

    I agree with you and PP, avoid that foolishness.  
  • edited December 2011

    yeah...I'm guessing that if you would have called her to say she wasn't in the wedding she would have created some type of drama out of that. I've never heard of anyone doing that in the first place. Maybe her feelings are just hurt and she doesn't know how to express that. In any case she should not have gone to another person to complain about it. If she had a concern/complaint she should have (calmly) came to you to talk about it.

  • kahbkahb member
    edited December 2011
    Thank you ladies for your words of wisdom. I guess, at some point, I will try to figure out the best way to have a conversation with her about the status of the friendship.
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