Torn Between DIY & Cheap(er), and not DIY & Pricier

katey911 · December 2012

I'm a little afraid to ask for opinions because I know I'll get them, lol...but I'm torn between two options:

Fiance & I are hopefully booking our ceremony/reception site this week and we have two top options:

1. A country club where it will cost us a decent amount but everything will be taken care of (linens, dishes, drinks, etc) and is part of the package. The setting is pretty but sort of bland, and there are a lot of rules to follow, or

2. A better setting (old town with character, awesome picture sites) but we'd have to bring everything in ourselves (dishes, linens, etc) and do all the setting up ourselves (with some help from friends/family, of course). This would be the cheaper option.

Thoughts? If you DIY, did you regret it? I love the freedom of the second option and being able to really customize (there are few rules we'd have to follow), but the peace of mind of having someone else do the heavy lifting (figuratively and otherwise!) that comes with option 1 is tempting.

Thanks!

Simply Fated · December 2012

Sometimes DIY can turn out to be more expensive because it's not just the money to rent the space out and the food. It's also the little stuff that adds up, like the napkins, the ice for the drinks, the actual drinks... and you're going to want people to help set up, clean up and maybe even serve the food. That costs money, too.
I'd sit down and make a very detailed list of everything you need. Then, find out how much everything costs, exactly, and add it up.

Also, sometimes it's not worth the time and effort put into it. I mean, a lot of the times, it's so much better to be stress free and let someone else deal with the details. it's worth the extra money.

I'd wait to see how much you'd actually be saving, though.

For some people, DIY is absolutely worth it, even if it doesn't save money.

Avion22 · December 2012

I would price out the DIY option. Can you bring in your own alcohol? That usually amounts to substantial savings (you can buy beer and wine at costo, and usually can return unopened bottles/cases, and you can buy booze from liquor stores and return unopened bottles). If you go this way, please don't count on your friends and family to help decorate. They may offer, but you shouldn't expect them to help. Depending on what kind of decorating you plan on doing, you may be able to have your caterer and florist take care of it (that's what we did, but it was just centerpieces and place cards and stuff).

jessicabessica · December 2012

Do you have the time to do everything yourself? Could you hire a wedding planner (even just a day-of-coordinator) to help with set up and logistics? How much are caterers in the area? If you found a caterer that took care of all the food, plates/etc. rentals, and provided a bartender, that would make it a lot less work for you.

HobokensFury · December 2012

I'm in the boat were I pay for convenience so I would go for the all inclusive. DIY is rarely cheaper when you add everything up. Also remember to account for the time and stress of DIY when making your decision.

AddieCake · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_torn-between-diy-cheaper-and-not-diy-pricier?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:4d6886ac-7349-4b20-b97f-3811d473c33cPost:dfa70353-da22-4bf8-90b5-bf053c1e91a1">Re: Torn Between DIY & Cheap(er), and not DIY & Pricier</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm in the boat were I pay for convenience so I would go for the all inclusive. DIY is rarely cheaper when you add everything up. Also remember to account for the time and stress of DIY when making your decision.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I was so glad to have everything taken care of in a one-stop-shop kind of way!</div>

itzMS · December 2012

Another factor to consider is the overall convenience for guests. I'm assuming the country club is easy to find, air conditioned, clean restrooms, close to major roads/hotels.

The risk you run with choosing a rustic/cheaper option (like a park pavillion, farm/barn, etc) is the potential lack of some of the conveniences for your guests.

fallbride1109 · December 2012

I agree with the PP--price out the DIY option before you do anything and also consider things like parking, convenience, OOT accommodations nearby, etc.

For me it would be a no-brainer--all inclusive all the way. There is no way I would want to burden my friends and family with setting up or tearing down my wedding and on the day of, I didn't want to worry about anything. If you go with the DIY, I would highly suggest hiring a day of coordinator (DOC) to help and factor that into the budget.

alithebride · December 2012

having been through the wedding now-no way on earth i would have wanted to (or had the time to) set up, clean up etc... and i would not ask wedding guests to help me either so unless you can find outsiders for that i'd think very very hard about the logistics.

you could always bring the charm of your DIY idea into the pricier one using decorations and a theme. to be honest people rarely look at the actual space and think about it-they look at the tables, the special decor that you've included, the B&G, the bar, the food and the person they're dancing with.

QueerFemme · December 2012

We did it "mostly" DIY. With that, I mean, we had to set everything up ourselves, break it down ourselves, clean the place up. We did have a caterer bring in the food, maintain it, and clean up that part, but we had to do pretty much everything else.

We did this, because none of the full service venues had the type of food we wanted to serve (traditional Mexican food), and none of the full service venues had the type of "casual" feeling we wanted. We wanted something by the water near our home, but not hotel or ballroomesque.

With that said, it was a LOT of work. And took a LOT of planning. I had a very descriptive instructions list and a layout of where things were supposed to go, and when, etc. It was more than a timeline, it was a play by play cheat sheet.

I also hired three people to help do the set up and cleanup, and since the caterer took care of the food setup, we didn't have to worry about that.

I'm sure I saved money over having it at a full service venue, but, it's not like I saved a fortune. And, again, it was a lot of work, and took significantly more planning than had I had it at a full service spot. But, for me, it was worth it, because I wouldn't have otherwise been able to have the wedding I envisioned.

JoanE2012 · December 2012

We did absolutely NO DIY and were so happy with that decision. It made the whole wedding planning process painless, stressfree and eerily too easy! Even when Hurricane Sandy forced us to postpone our wedding, rescheduling all worked out pretty easy. I felt no need for wedding planners, day of coordinaters, timelines, etc. And we had an absolutey beautiful day.

Dreamergirl8812 · December 2012

If you could attach a dollar amount to stress and effort, I think the country club would be the clear winner.

NOLAbridealmost · December 2012

Before choosing, look into party rental companies. They might offer ALL the stuff you need and they might even have an option where you can pay them to set it up and tear it down. Just something I'd at least take a stab at before giving up on the venue that you prefer.

But there's no way I'd actually take on the work of set up/tear down/thinking of every little thing.

random4180 · December 2012

We did option #2, right down to it being a historical village. We loved it. I never really felt too overwhelmed but this may be linked to how easy it was to work with our venue, finding a caterer who provided all the rentals we needed, a bartender and wait staff, and did the setup and clean up, and having a guest list of less than 175 (106 came.) Personally, we just weren't really the country club or ballroom-type (not everyone is) and we had the wedding we wanted and DIY kept it within our budget. Only you can know if it is worth it for you but I can tell you it definitely was for us!

CnSinLOVE · December 2012

My fiance and I are doing completely DIY and will only be hiring someone a friend of my mom to help us out on the day of! This was the obvious choice for us! I started all my DIY projects months ahead of time so I don't have to worry about stressing about the little stuff right before the wedding. We are even doing our own catering, only hiring one of my FI employees to help with day of cooking! I am not at all concerned about being stressed out on my wedding day! I think as long as you have a plan and know what you want you can make it your dream wedding : Good luck!!

Sue-n-Kevin · December 2012

I think a lot depends on how much time you are allowing yourself to plan, how active your local Knot wedding board is (for recommendations), how much you love to research options online, and your budget.

We did option #2, and had our ceremony and reception at an historic village. From the day we reserved the venue until the wedding was 18 months. But I'm a pretty organized person, and did a lot of research & legwork on my own. The amount of time you have to plan and locate vendors, or make your DIY items that are money savers is critical.

Our venue supplied the chapel, and a building with tables & chairs. Everything else that surrounds a wedding was brought in. While I come from a catering/party planning background, where I watched my Mom plan and cater parties, plus I'd thrown a few of my own, I hired a DOC (day of coordinator) because I knew I did not want to spend my wedding day stressing about everyone hitting their marks amongst the various vendors. Most DOC's charge between $350 and $600, depending on the geographic area and what you want them to do. They price for number of hours and frequency of contact.

When you bring in everything, you have to look for competitive pricing, and the exact types of things you want, ie linens, place settings, caterer, alcohol, servers, bartenders, etc. I did a ton of DIY, with real flowers, candles, programs, table runners, linens, the list is endless. My DOC and caterer did all the set up. I had entire spreadsheets of rental vendors, comparing prices on each for utensils, plates, tents, dance floors, etc.

While I loved my wedding, and the venue, in hindsight I think I initially started down this road because the standard "per person" price of an all inclusive venue like a banquet hall made me gasp.........$35 - $60 per person???? But to be honest, in the end, we probably paid close to that, although we were able to personalize everything and have a sundae bar, sliders & fries as a late night snack, etc.

Reader's Digest version: if the feel and look is extremely important, if you want a truly personal experience, then know you will spend a lot of time corralling all the vendors to get there. And you won't save much money.

Good luck on your decision.

bethanys86 · December 2012

Definitely look into the DIY venue. For us, cost was a huge factor but I also didn't want the look of a hotel reception. I agree that they can be kinda "bland," and we would have had to do a lot to dress the places up anyway.

We went with a barn at a county park. Tales are included. We are going to do everything else ourselves. I've found a highly recommended caterer who is doing a buffet style meal for $10pp, and even with the additional costs for us (renting or buying own table linens, making centerpieces, etc.) there are still SUBSTANTIAL savings over the cheapest all-inclusive venue I found, which was $45pp exclusive of alcohol.

However, pps have made some great remarks regarding set-up and tear-down. Our venue is exactly what I wanted, so we are doing very little in terms of decorating. We are setting the tables and bringing in some fancy floor lamps so we don't have to use overhead lighting. We are bringing in our own alcohol, but our bartender will be bringing the ice and coolers when she comes. I expect that we will spend about 2 hours the day of setting everything up (nothing strenuous), and then be able to take everything apart quickly afterwards.

Price it out, think about your own time constraints, and you might be surprised. I have found that the blanket statement that "all inclusive is typically cheaper" is wrong, and you will be limiting yourself to the decorations your venue already has, or spending additional $$ to make it fit your vision.

katey911 · December 2012

Thanks for the opinions, all. I agree, DIY will be more stressful but after visiting another locale with a hundred rules, fiancé and I have opted for the second option. We have complete freedom to make it "ours" and while the modern conveniences aren't what I'd like them to be (number of bathrooms, as example), the charm just can't be beat. The only set-up/tear-down will be our decorations. We'll hire a caterer to handle food and will save hundreds by not being forced to pay bar prices on drinks. I'm not in a metropolitan area so there aren't coordinators to be had here, but I'm a project manager by trade so will put my skills to the test! Appreciate all the input!

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

DIY is not always cheaper. I saw a wedding on "4 weddings" and the wedding was almost 100% DIY'd and woth 150 guests, it cost the bride $70,000.

katey911 · December 2012

Let's be honest, Owning...those betches be crazy.

QueerFemme · December 2012

In Response to Re:Torn Between DIY :[QUOTE]Thanks for the opinions, all. I agree, DIY will be more stressful but after visiting another locale with a hundred rules, fianc and I have opted for the second option. We have complete freedom to make it "ours" and while the modern conveniences aren't what I'd like them to be number of bathrooms, as example, the charm just can't be beat.

The only setup/teardown will be our decorations. We'll hire a caterer to handle food and will save hundreds by not being forced to pay bar prices on drinks. I'm not in a metropolitan area so there aren't coordinators to be had here, but I'm a project manager by trade so will put my skills to the test!

Appreciate all the input! Posted by katey911[/QUOTE]

Good luck. I encourage you to hire a helper. It doesn't have to be a DOC, just someone you can give directions too. I hired a coworker of a friend, a brother of a friend and an extended family member of a very distant relative who was trying to break into the wedding business.

Even if you don't decorate much, someone has to serve drinks, someone has to unload/load cars/trucks with your DIY liquor. Someone has to empty the garbage during the reception and refill toilet paper.

Its worth it to pay someone 15 or 20 dollars an hour so you don't have to worry about that stuff.

Have fun!

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