.

megansteele · October 2012

Thanks for the advice. I think I got it by now.

cwaggoner07 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-the-bridebut-so-is-the-soon-to-be-sister-in-law-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:c4b8417e-a8fd-4ad0-90bb-26d2450e59f0Post:871143b1-d203-48e0-b010-ea08797644c9">Im the bride..but so is the soon to be sister in law. Drama!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I am needing to vent/get advice on whether I am overreacting. My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years now and will be getting marries in January. His brother and his fiance have been together just a little over a year and were engaged before us. I was upset when I found out considering we had been together longer...but after awhile I got over it because I knew that I will be happy with my fiance forever and<strong> I'm getting a gorgeous ring out of the deal...and she didn't.</strong> Lol not to sound rude BUT...ever since we announced our engagement she won't even talk to me. She comes over to our house with my fancies brother to watch football..but doesn't say a word to me..IN MY OWN HOUSE! I feel she is very rude to me and that I do not deserve it. Everything we have done for our wedding they go and do right after. Such as: our engagement pictures were done on a Saturday in July...that Monday she called to get theirs done. Last week we sent out our save the sates and they got the save the date we sent them on Saturday...then my fancies brother texts him yesterday to get his address so they can sens theirs. I feel she is stepbystep copying everything that we do! Not only with the wedding either...she does everything I do! Idk how to say to them that it bothers me because I don't want the whole family mad at me. My fiance knows how I feel and he feels the same. But he won't say anything and I am trying VERY hard but I've never been the type to keep my mouth shut. WHAT DO I DO???? PLEASE HELP!!
Posted by megansteele[/QUOTE]

To be perfectly honest, this makes you sound extremely immature, and the rest of your post does as well.

My advice to you is to focus on your own relationship and your own wedding and let it go. She is going to be in your life (presumably) forever, and you need to learn to not let what she does bother you. It does not affect you whatsoever.

s-aries8990 · October 2012

Don't stress about it. It's just two weddings. Just as long as they are at least a week apart, they aren't stepping on your toes for real. Sure, it stinks to share the spotlight, but sometimes ish happens. Be flattered by her copying you.

It doesn't matter how long you've been with someone- you don't know their relationship so to judge their engagement is your error. Don't compare rings either, it promotes judgement too.

Have FI say a word to his brother about S2B SIL's behavior at your house. That's the only thing he should bring up.

And HEY, at least you're getting all of your stuff out first so she's copying you, not getting her stuff out in a rush to "win".

Relax, you have bigger fish to fry

GoodLuckBear14 · October 2012

Yeah you lost any sympathy I had when you slammed her ring for not being as big or nice as yours.

drandreasalazar · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-the-bridebut-so-is-the-soon-to-be-sister-in-law-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:c4b8417e-a8fd-4ad0-90bb-26d2450e59f0Post:8a6e73d8-375b-46b3-844c-234cc865dd81">Re: Im the bride..but so is the soon to be sister in law. Drama!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Im the bride..but so is the soon to be sister in law. Drama!! : To be perfectly honest, this makes you sound extremely immature, and the rest of your post does as well. My advice to you is to focus on your own relationship and your own wedding and let it go. She is going to be in your life (presumably) forever, and you need to learn to not let what she does bother you. It does not affect you whatsoever.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

ditto

samantha24p · October 2012

Just ignore her and plan your own wedding. Don't share any of the details with her. If you both are engaged and weddings withen weeks to months apart it could seem she's copying you. Maybe she feels that you're trying to up her by getting stuff done faster? Also did you tell anyone your snarky remarks about her getting engaged first or you getting a nice ring? She might know what you've said and that might be why she's not talking to you.

GoodLuckBear14 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-the-bridebut-so-is-the-soon-to-be-sister-in-law-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:c4b8417e-a8fd-4ad0-90bb-26d2450e59f0Post:dda33434-2003-43be-a91c-15211e7c9e25">Re:Im the bride..but so is the soon to be sister in law. Drama!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Way to be rude. If I took the time to type everything out you would wonder about her. She told his mom she basically doesn't like me because I was more popular in high school....well first of all I don't remember her in high school and she dropped out. Therefore I think that shows immaturity on her part. I am trying very hard not to be rude because I understand its their day to. BUT he is actually still married to his exwife. Now don't you think it'd be a good idea for them to make sure the divorce will go through before they send out their save the dates? I'm just flabbergasted as to some of the things she does. Its almost like she doesn't know how to plan a wedding so she is doing everything we do right after so she knows what to do. Not to mention their wedding is 4 months after ours!
Posted by megansteele[/QUOTE]

How is this any of your business???

And the whole high school popularity thing...good way to show that <em>you</em> aren't immature. Clearly her perception of you from highschool got under your skin. Personally, I couldn't give a rat's ass what people from high school say about me.

If she ever does something that is truly offensive, then it is on your FI to say something. The fact that he knows how you feel and (according to you) it bothers him too, tells me that he is seeing this the same way as the rest of us here.

cwaggoner07 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-the-bridebut-so-is-the-soon-to-be-sister-in-law-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:c4b8417e-a8fd-4ad0-90bb-26d2450e59f0Post:dda33434-2003-43be-a91c-15211e7c9e25">Re:Im the bride..but so is the soon to be sister in law. Drama!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Way to be rude. If I took the time to type everything out you would wonder about her. She told his mom she basically doesn't like me because I was more popular in high school....well first of all I don't remember her in high school and she dropped out. Therefore I think that shows immaturity on her part. I am trying very hard not to be rude because I understand its their day to. BUT he is actually still married to his exwife. Now don't you think it'd be a good idea for them to make sure the divorce will go through before they send out their save the dates? I'm just flabbergasted as to some of the things she does. Its almost like she doesn't know how to plan a wedding so she is doing everything we do right after so she knows what to do. Not to mention their wedding is 4 months after ours!
Posted by megansteele[/QUOTE]

If she truly is this horrible person you speak of (which, she very well could be, I'm going to take that as a given), then you should NOT be caring about her opinion. If you will be the bigger person, eventually things will smooth out. You may not be best friends, but let it roll off of your back. You don't want to look back on your wedding planning and just think about how angry you were the entire time, especially if it affects your relationship going forward with your future family.
If there is a mess with a divorce involved, that is still NOT your problem. Go on with your life and plan YOUR wedding. You are way too involved in their relationship.

RamonaFlowers · October 2012

Last I checked, lots of people got engagement photos done and sent out save-the-dates. OMIGOD, THEY MUST ALL BE TRYING TO COPY YOU, TOO!!!!!!

But, hey, as long as your ring is nicer than theirs, you'll get over it eventually. And even if their ring is nicer than yours, you know that it's just because they are sooooooooo insanely jealous of you that they had to get a nicer ring to feel better about themselves.

Yeah, that's it

samantha24p · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-the-bridebut-so-is-the-soon-to-be-sister-in-law-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:c4b8417e-a8fd-4ad0-90bb-26d2450e59f0Post:dda33434-2003-43be-a91c-15211e7c9e25">Re:Im the bride..but so is the soon to be sister in law. Drama!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Way to be rude. If I took the time to type everything out you would wonder about her. She told his mom she basically doesn't like me because I was more popular in high school....well first of all I don't remember her in high school and she dropped out. Therefore I think that shows immaturity on her part. I am trying very hard not to be rude because I understand its their day to. BUT he is actually still married to his exwife. Now don't you think it'd be a good idea for them to make sure the divorce will go through before they send out their save the dates? I'm just flabbergasted as to some of the things she does. Its almost like she doesn't know how to plan a wedding so she is doing everything we do right after so she knows what to do. Not to mention their wedding is 4 months after ours!
Posted by megansteele[/QUOTE]

Sorry but this isn't really helping your case.

QueerFemme · October 2012

I'm still focused on the "I got the better ring out of the deal". It seems like your bigger concern is that you are getting the husband you want. You sound like you are 15.

cwaggoner07 · October 2012

OP, I think it's worth thinking about the fact that no one was rude to you at ALL, and it was pretty unnecessary to delete your original post, since it was quoted.

If you truly want to avoid the 'Drama' then stop creating it.

lyndausvi · October 2012

2 brides-to-be who got engaged around the same time and are planning wedding within 4 months of each other are getting e-pics, sending out STDs and booking venues around the same time as each other?

Shocking I'm telling you. Completely shocking.

mcda04 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-the-bridebut-so-is-the-soon-to-be-sister-in-law-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:c4b8417e-a8fd-4ad0-90bb-26d2450e59f0Post:7bbe0f00-50d3-45e3-979a-84be59b00797">Re: Wow</a>:
[QUOTE]Congratulations! You were quoted so DDing doesn't get rid of your words and changing your thread title to just "wow" is going to make more people check it out so you're going to have even more people telling you how wrong you are.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
I 2nd This.

beardo1111 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-the-bridebut-so-is-the-soon-to-be-sister-in-law-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:c4b8417e-a8fd-4ad0-90bb-26d2450e59f0Post:58cf59b4-a3cf-4a26-966b-b76141baa83f">Re:Im the bride..but so is the soon to be sister in law. Drama!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Im the bride..but so is the soon to be sister in law. Drama!! : If she truly is this horrible person you speak of (which, she very well could be, I'm going to take that as a given), then you should NOT be caring about her opinion. If you will be the bigger person, eventually things will smooth out. You may not be best friends, but let it roll off of your back. You don't want to look back on your wedding planning and just think about how angry you were the entire time, especially if it affects your relationship going forward with your future family. If there is a mess with a divorce involved, that is still NOT your problem. Go on with your life and plan YOUR wedding. <strong>You are way too involved in their relationship.</strong>
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

All of this. Way way way waaaaayyy too involved. Plus I don't think you mentioned any actual concern for your brother in any of your posts - this is all just petty girly high-school drama. Grow up.

shannyb41 · October 2012

Well, thank you PP's for quoting this mess because I was able to actually see what was going on.

OP...you are ridiculous.
Who cares when they got engaged....who cares when she schedules engagement photos. A wedding is not a competition and if you are looking at it as that then you have bigger problems. Worry about your wedding...not hers. Also, consider staying out of there private matters. His exwife situation and her dropping out of high school are really none of your business. And they are certainly not issues that you have any right to post all over the internet.

peekaboo2011 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-the-bridebut-so-is-the-soon-to-be-sister-in-law-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:c4b8417e-a8fd-4ad0-90bb-26d2450e59f0Post:087e845d-2ec4-48fb-beb9-2f2afa66940a">Re: .</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to . : Every time you change your OP you attract more attention.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

<div>So true. I feel like I've read this thread about 100 times since it went up. TK needs the "views" counter that TN and TB have.</div>

RamonaFlowers · October 2012

In Response to Re:.:[QUOTE]In Response to .:Thanks for the advice. I think I got it by now.Posted by megansteeleEvery time you change your OP you attract more attention. Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

Really? Are you saying that more people are likely to jump in a thread with just a period for the title to see what's going on? Linger, surely you jest! Clearly, we all now know that there is absolutely NOTHING to see here.

renegade gaucho · October 2012

You started it by getting engaged after she did. Why did you feel the need to copy her?

RamonaFlowers · October 2012

In Response to Re:.:[QUOTE]Just out of curiosity, do you actually contribute to conversations on other boards? nbsp;Because on this one, you pretty much seem to be the chorus in the back that keeps randomly piping up with "yeah! nbsp;Good one guys!". nbsp; Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Bazinga.

wrigleyville · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-the-bridebut-so-is-the-soon-to-be-sister-in-law-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:c4b8417e-a8fd-4ad0-90bb-26d2450e59f0Post:18f5580b-e7b4-45ce-9303-bd32576ca39a">Re: .</a>:
[QUOTE]You started it by getting engaged after she did. Why did you feel the need to copy her?
Posted by renegade gaucho[/QUOTE]

Boom.

Roasted.

RamonaFlowers · October 2012

In Response to Re:.:[QUOTE]Boom. Roasted. Posted by wrigleyville[/QUOTE]

Gawd, Wrigley, way to totally copy xcalugrl. You and the OP's FSIL should seriously start a copy cat club together :P

wrigleyville · October 2012

catrb89 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-the-bridebut-so-is-the-soon-to-be-sister-in-law-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:c4b8417e-a8fd-4ad0-90bb-26d2450e59f0Post:7bbe0f00-50d3-45e3-979a-84be59b00797">Re: Wow</a>:
[QUOTE]Congratulations! You were quoted so DDing doesn't get rid of your words and changing your thread title to just "wow" is going to make more people check it out so you're going to have even more people telling you how wrong you are.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

I only checked it because it was clearly a DD. Way to suck, OP.

.

Re: .

Choose Another Board

Search Boards