What Would You Do In This Situation

soon2bmrsrlh · April 2012

My fiance and I are trying to brainstorm alternative ideas for the traditional wedding gift registry. We live in Dallas but are getting married in Iowa so recieving traditional wedding gifts (kitchen items, towels, bedding, etc.) really isn't feasible since we will not have an easy way to get the gifts from Iowa to Texas. In addition, we have lived together for over 2 years so we already have many of the household items that one would traditionally receive.

We recently purchased a house and funds to use towards furniture and updates would be much more helpful than traditional wedding gifts.

Any ideas on an alternative wedding gift registry that still follows etiquette guidelines but helps fulfill our wants for furniture and funds for updating our home?

Of course, we are more concerned with celebrating with family and friends than the gifts we may receive but we would like to deter guests who choose to bring a gift from the traditional wedding items due to the transport issue.

GoodLuckBear14 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_what-would-you-do-in-this-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:2fd7d6ff-8c95-489f-8680-3517fb3063abPost:14e387a2-f1f9-4c47-a621-76af9a9f4c10">What Would You Do In This Situation</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are trying to brainstorm alternative ideas for the traditional wedding gift registry. We live in Dallas but are getting married in Iowa so recieving traditional wedding gifts (kitchen items, towels, bedding, etc.) really isn't feasible since we will not have an easy way to get the gifts from Iowa to Texas. In addition, we have lived together for over 2 years so we already have many of the household items that one would traditionally receive. We recently purchased a house and funds to use towards furniture and updates would be much more helpful than traditional wedding gifts. Any ideas on an alternative wedding gift registry that still follows etiquette guidelines but helps fulfill our wants for furniture and funds for updating our home? Of course, we are more concerned with celebrating with family and friends than the gifts we may receive but we would like to deter guests who choose to bring a gift from the traditional wedding items due to the transport issue.
Posted by soon2bmrsrlh[/QUOTE]

Do not do any "alternative" registry. Honeymoon registries and the like are nothing more than deceitful cash grabs where the B&G end up with a check from a company at the end (and most of the time for less than what was actually given by the guests).

If it is money that you want, make a small registry and let your family spread the word when asked about registries that you are saving for ____________.

Guests are also supposed to have gifts delivered to your home before the wedding. I know they don't always do this but most should know. If they don't, it is not that expensive to go to Staples, get boxes, pack gifts up, go to the post office and ship things to your home. DH and I had to ship gifts from San Francisco to Philadelphia and it wasn't nearly as expensive as I thought it would be

Avion22 · April 2012

We got married in Virginia but live in the UK. Only ONE person brought a gift to our wedding (and it was a tablecloth, so easily packable). Everyone else sent gifts from our registry to our APO address (our military PO box in the UK, costs the same as shipping to anywhere in the US), which was the address we listed on our registry.

People will probably ship things to whatever address you put on your registry, and NOT to Iowa.

If I were you, I would do a small "traditional" registry -- surely there are things you would like to upgrade, like a dyson vaccuum, keurig, all-clad pots and pans, really nice sheets and towels, or even stuff like camping gear. Don't register for stuff you don't need -- but take a look at what you have in your house and see what you could use. You can always donate or sell your old stuff.

If people see that you have a small registry, they might decide to give you cash (some people give cash anyway), or if they ask, someone can tell them "They have most of what they need, but are saving up for __________ (house, honeymoon, renovations, whatever)."

MNVegas · April 2012

Most of your guests will have gifts shipped to your home address since they know you live out of state. If someone does by chance bring a gift you need to get back home, just call UPS and have it shipped. It's not that difficult.

You could always do a small registry for people who prefer giving boxed gifts and others will more than likely give cash gift. Use the cash gifts to buy what you want.

If you are thinking of "alternative" registry meaning cash registry, please don't. That would be a direct request for cash and be extremely rude. If someone asks directly what you would like for a gift, say that you are registered at store x but also saving for furniture.

soon2bmrsrlh · April 2012

Thanks for the reassurance! My mom countinuously reassures me that guests will more than likely give cash because they know we live out of state. I most certaintly don't want to request only cash but wasn't sure if there unique ways other brides have dealt with this.

We'll stick with the small registery that includes some items we'd like to upgrade.

ceh789 · April 2012

Another idea is to do your small registry somewhere national with a good registry program (BBB would be my recommendation) then if people do bring gifts to the wedding you can return them in IA and re-purchase them with the store credit in TX.

meganb1977 · April 2012

ceh789 has a brilliant suggestion...just get someone to return any registry items that are brought to your wedding and have them mail you the credit to use back at home. It's VERY easy at BBB. That someone can also take care of shipping anything that didn't come from BBB to your home.

hoffse · April 2012

Also, since you just bought a house you might want to use this as an opportunity to get some decor items or change that tired color scheme in your bed linens and bath towels that you've had since college - just make sure your small registry has a few things at all price points, and guests will be satisfied. If you have a shower, you need more than a few things in the under $50 range.

pessint10 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_what-would-you-do-in-this-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:2fd7d6ff-8c95-489f-8680-3517fb3063abPost:7d4ecc6a-7930-46f5-97bc-c8461d57d8ca">Re: What Would You Do In This Situation</a>:
[QUOTE]There is no polite way to ask other people for their money.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

You're not asking for their money, you're simply telling them that you would prefer money rather than a gift, which is usually much easier for them and makes them just as happy to give.

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