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Uh Oh, shower

KnalexisKnalexis member
10 Comments
in Registry and Gift Forum
My fiancee told me that "hypothetically," if his mother wanted to have a shower for me in NJ when we go up and visit next month, who would I want there...?

So, I made a list, with consideration that we are planning a small wedding. Not everyone that usually attends the parties his family has for things like graduations and birthdays will be invited..

HOWEVER! I was clued in the other day by him that his mom has planned a 'nice shindig,' and I have a gut feeling there are people included to the shower that were not on our original list of people being invited to the wedding. (She does not know who is or is not on our guest list for the wedding.)

Sidebar: The wedding is destination, and we know many people that are likely to not travel, so his thought is that they would understand.Foot in mouth

WHAT TO DO?? Yikes!
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Re: Uh Oh, shower

  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Your FI should let his mom know that some of the guests are not on the guest list so she doesn't embarrass herself.  If she goes ahead and invites those people, it's on her, not you.
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  • karmellahkarmellah
    500 Comments
    Have fun. thats what to do.
    Anniversary
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  • KnalexisKnalexis member
    10 Comments
    I just don't want her to be upset with me or him. I believe he forewarned her, and for that matter the guest list was made but I think she went off of that and added others to it! Nice gesture, good woman, not the best predicament to be put in!


    Thanks for the comments!
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  • Milsey32Milsey32
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_uh-oh-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:76f50197-7507-4136-9581-5d41f304c845Post:9e48652a-7daa-459d-8a0a-d5565bf38ce6">Re: Uh Oh, shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your FI should let his mom know that some of the guests are not on the guest list so she doesn't embarrass herself. <strong> If she goes ahead and invites those people, it's on her, not you.</strong>
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's what I was thinking - you can only do so much (like informing her of who you want at the shower and who's invited to the wedding)</div>
    image
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  • Mrs.B6302007Mrs.B6302007 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_uh-oh-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:76f50197-7507-4136-9581-5d41f304c845Post:9e48652a-7daa-459d-8a0a-d5565bf38ce6">Re: Uh Oh, shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your FI should let his mom know that some of the guests are not on the guest list so she doesn't embarrass herself.  If she goes ahead and invites those people, it's on her, not you.
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    This.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10
    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

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  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    People that are not invited to your wedding cannot be invited to your shower. That will look extremely rude and gift grabby.
    FI should give his mom the wedding guest list so she can make sure she is not inviting anybody that isn't on it. (that should've been done when she first asked him, instead of randomly giving her names of people). She will look bad if she does, but so will you, since it is your shower and you are the one receiving the gifts, not her.
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