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Should I feel bad????

suit10suit10
100 Comments
in California-Bay Area
Hi. Here's the thing. I've asked my 5 closest friends to be my bridesmaids. I was kind of in a weird place with one of them, (stupid girl stuff - we didn't talk for some time) but I could not image my wedding without her so after a loooot of thinking I finally asked her. Of course she said yes. Now, we are still working on some issues, and she is now engaged as well. She will marry before me and says she can no longer be my bridesmaid because she has too many stuff to do and will not have time for me, eventhough she doesn't want to make me feel bad, she will just not be in it :( . She even asked me if I had anyone else to ask to be my BM, AS IF???!!!!!

Honestly, I've not asked a single thing of my BM other than get a friggin' green dress. THAT'S IT. The rest of the planning I totally enjoy doing with my FI. I really got hurt by this. I guess I'm just asking what you think, if I should just appreciate her being honest or is she just being a total B about this.

Thanks and congratulations to all!!!!
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Re: Should I feel bad????

  • GJones27GJones27 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I tend to assume the worst, so I think she made a lame excuse.  My wedding is in 2.5 months, and on top of an insane amount of wedding planning chores, I am handling 60-hour work weeks, travel, a legal immigration application for my fiance, financial aid applications for myself, and a broken computer. I'm doing 90% of the planning myself from the opposite coast.  I don't mean to brag or complain about what I have to do, but I use it as a point that someone can fit you into a busy schedule if they see you as a priority as well.  

    Maybe she ran into money troubles with her own wedding, and she's making up an excuse for wanting to use the money for the BM dress on her own wedding.  Maybe she has health issues, such as anxiety, and she really can't handle the work.  I dunno.  But yeah, finding no time to buy a dress for a wedding is rude, in my humble and honest opinion.

    Sorry for the harsh verdict on her.  I'm sorry she was rude to you!  Sometimes, it's best just to have your nearest and dearest up there with you on the Big Day.  But at least you did the right thing.  
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  • lthom17lthom17
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    She sounds like a huge you-know-what!  She could have done the bare minimum of getting the dress and standing up there on your wedding day, which is AFTER hers. 

    Out of curiosity, is she having bridesmaids?

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  • suit10suit10
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you girls!! I feel much better.

    GJones27: I know right!!!! I meam I work 50 hours per week plus I go to dance classes 2 days a week AND planning the wedding and the honeymoon, C'mon!!! but thank you!!!

    lthom17: yes, I just saw on her facebook this morning she will have 5 bridesmaids as well and guess what? I'm not one of them BIG SURPRISE, no biggie, I'm starting to think she felt pretty bad/awkward that I asked her and she would't ask me. It's ok though, I do feel kinda bad but hey! watcha gonna do!!
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