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several dilemas

G&E2013G&E2013 member
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in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
1)I want to honor my mom somehow, she passed away when I was 7, im not sure how to do it. 2)I never met my dad, he left before I was born and my grandma basically raised me. What would I do in place of a father/daughter dance or should I just not do one at all? Our wedding is going to have so many untraditional things. Me and my FI are not religous(my family doesnt know that) so there wont be any of that stuff. We are not doing any kind of unity thing either. We dont really want to send our save the dates either but he has family that lives in Scottland and they need a heads up in order to book flights. Any ideas on really anything?
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Re: several dilemas

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    cebrady89cebrady89 member
    First Comment
    1. If you are using programs, you could include something saying "the flowers at the ceremony are placed in honor of Bride's mother", or "In loving memory of So and So". If you're not doing programs, maybe your officiant could somehow mention people that have inspired you or shown you love, something along those lines.
    2. You don't need to do a father daughter dance. My friend's father passed away when she was young, so she had a fun dance with her mom. You could do the same thing with your grandma if you wanted. Or just nothing...people don't necessarily expect those types of dances.
    3. I would send save the dates just to out of town guests. We only sent them to certain people who we thought needed an advance notice, and others we just told in person the date. 
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    Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    1.   A mention in the program is probably sufficient.   Do you possibly have something of your mother's that you can wear or tuck into your bouquet, like an item of jewelry, a handkerchief, etc?   

    2.  Father-daughter dances are not required.   You can do a dance with someone else if you want, but you don't have to.  People who know you well know that your father has never been in the picture, so they won't be expecting any kind of father-daughter dance.   

    3.  It might be cool to honor your grandmother who raised you, if you're close.  Mayve instead of doing a bouquet toss you could present your bouquet to her?   

    Non-traditional weddings are awesome:-)  You don't have to do everything just the way that everyone else does -- wedding are more fun when they are more personal to the couple.    
    DSC_9275
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    DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    5 Love Its First Comment

    You don't have to send STDs to everyone.  You could just send the information to his family in Scotland.  We just gave a heads up to those who needed to travel, and we did it all by phone call or email.  Don't let the industry tell you otherwise - it's not necessary!

    As far as honoring your mom, do you know her favorite flower or color?  Maybe you could incorporate that into your wedding.  I also love the idea of wearing a piece of her jewelry or something.

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    Grits8812Grits8812 member
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    About your mother, you could put flowers at the alter and mention it in your program if you are having one.  You could also leave a seat open and reserved for her, where she would sit.

    About the father daughter dance, maybe you could have a dance with your grandmother since he wont be there. I think that would be great!


    I don't know if this would be considered "correct" or not, but maybe just order Save The Dates for the family that would need more notice. 

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    Joker1628Joker1628 member
    First Comment
    My mother passed away the summer I graduated from high school. We are honoring her in several different ways since she was a huge part of my life:
    -We will be leaving the very first seat on the brides "side" of the aisle reserved so that nobody sits there(this is where she would have sat). My sister who is the MOH will be carrying a single long stem rose down the aisle with her and then placing it on the empty chair. Once the ceremony is over we will have the rose trasnported to the reception venue and placed in a vase there.
    -I will have a charm with a picture of my mother attached to my bouquet.
    -And we will be honoring "those who cannot be with us" in our program
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