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May 2013 Weddings

thank you card...what would you do?

I attended a wedding last February and have still yet to receive any type of thank you for the check we gave the couple. We have seen the couple on more than one occasion since, but nothing has ever been said. I don't know why, but it really bothers me. Anyway, a girl I work with was discussing a simlar situation the other day and she didn't see it as a big deal. She told me that several months after her wedding, she found many of her thank you cards between and under the seats of her car. She said they must have fallen when she was taking them to the post office. At that point she assumed it was too late and didn't send them. My thoughts is better late than never. What would you do?
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Re: thank you card...what would you do?

  • Carson386Carson386 member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    edited November 2012
    I would've sent them anyways if I was your co worker. I honestly wouldn't worry about not receiving a thank you. I definitely see it as rude to not get a thank you, but I think they actually have 1 year after the wedding to send them according to etiquette (I think, I'm not positive). My plan for thank yous is to have them all sent out before May is over but I hate procrastinating and like to write the thank you cards ASAP.
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  • Honestly, there really isn't anything you can do about it. Shame on them though.

    My friend had a baby shower last June. I couldn't attend because it was on a Sunday and wasn't making a 4 hour round trip for it (Sunday afternoon). Instead I took a 3 hour round trip to hang out with her the day before - bought her lunch and spent about $40 on her baby. I didn't receive any sort of thank you card/note.

    It was really irritating. All I can really do is not by her anything again. Because they didn't send  a thank you note doesn't mean you don't have to buy her/them anything in the future (baby showers, etc.), but it's one of the options. I wouldn't say anything to her about it though. It just is what it is. Honestly, some people just don't send them.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_thank-you-cardwhat-would-you-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:66d4c903-1dd6-448d-849b-0880d40a58d6Post:1783dcbe-8567-4f96-8a94-f4bc8eaf0b35">Re: thank you card...what would you do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would've sent them anyways if I was your co worker. I honestly wouldn't worry about not receiving a thank you. I definitely see it as rude to not get a thank you, but I think they actually have 1 year after the wedding to send them according to etiquette (I think, I'm not positive). My plan for thank yous is to have them all sent out before May is over but I hate procrastinating and like to write the thank you cards ASAP.
    Posted by Carson386[/QUOTE]

    Actually, the 1 year after the wedding is for sending wedding gifts. I'm pretty sure that the ettiquette for thank you notes is either 2 weeks or 2 months after wedding if no honeymoon or same time frame after honeymoon.

    I do agree that the co-worker should still send them out, even if late.
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  • Not receiving thank you notes is my biggest pet peeve in the world. It drives me craaaazy! If I don't receive a thank you note for a wedding, they don't get a baby gift. Period.

    It's not as much of a big deal if I am there to see them open it and they thank me then, but when I send it through the mail or put it on the gift table and they never say thank you, I am beyond ticked off.
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  • Two of my cousin's just had bar/bat mitzvahs in September and neither of them sent us thank you notes for the presents we sent.  FI's cousin never sent us a thank you from her wedding back in April. Apparently manners are just out of the window.  

    I would send them if I found them later- better late then never.  And yes, the rule is that you have 2 weeks after the present is received or after the honeymoon (if it's a wedding) to send a thank you note.

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  • Yeah I agree with sending them even if they're horribly late. There's nothing you can do about it, it just reflects poorly on your friend.
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  • I had a former classmate who got married this past summer. I wasn't invited to the actual wedding, but I got an (B-list, I'm sure of it) invite to their AHR in the fall. I sent my regrets and I mailed them a card and gift. I didn't hear anything for a while so I actually ask the family member who invited me (via email, did I mention that?) if they got the gift. Apparently, they are still working on the thank you cards. I also had a friend mail me a thank you card almost one year after the wedding.
    So I think ettiquette escapes some people. But reading all these stories on the Knot (esp on ettiquette boards) makes me really scared I wont get my thank you cards done "in time" haha
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  • I'm guilty horrible with thank you notes. I received wedding gift last February and sent my thank you card out 3 months later I felt super guilty but get sidetracked a lot.
  • edited November 2012
    I wouldn't say anything. My MOH got married 4 1/2 years ago. I went in with another friend on gifts for her and I never got a thank you note. I think the card and gift got separated and even though she knew they were from me, I think something just didn't get marked down and the card never got sent. I could have said something, but I'm sure she realized at some point (she's normally super organized and on top of stuff like this) and felt pretty bad about it. We're better friends than ever now (as evidenced by her being my MOH), so I'm glad I never brought it up and made things awkward between us.
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  • I would never say anything about not receiving a thank you! I was more curious about how you would handle the your cards if you found them months after the wedding.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_thank-you-cardwhat-would-you-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:66d4c903-1dd6-448d-849b-0880d40a58d6Post:8cc276e0-a03d-4c03-80a8-c14e85a8c94b">Re:thank you card...what would you do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would never say anything about not receiving a thank you! I was more curious about how you would handle the your cards if you found them months after the wedding.
    Posted by VJones1981[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'd definitely send them. Better late than never! I'm also awful with making sure cards are out on time for other stuff (birthdays, anniversaries), but I always make sure they get out.</div>
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