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Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal

sumner0510sumner0510 member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
So our original wedding wasn't at all what I wanted. Everyone else thought it was nice, but my vision was derailed by attempting to satisfy everyone else. So to make up for it, I intend to renew my vows on our 6th anniversary the way it was initially supposed to go.

This time I have much more time to plann, 2.5 years vs 4 months. Plus my baby girl is a little older, 7 years old, so she is putting in her input. I'm excited and look forward to the planning and event.

Any suggestions to make it more enjoyable and easier?
Mrs. Sumner
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Re: Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal

  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    Mrs. Sumner, this board is not for vow renewals - it's for those who have been either divorced or widowed and have found love again. 

    Vow renewals aren't exactly looked kindly upon here unless it's at a significant time marker.

    Re-do's just because you didn't get your day your way are really frowned upon. 


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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    What Angie said is the nicest reply you'll get. The goal of a wedding is to end up married.  You accomplished THAT, right?  Then its the details of a party that you are dissatisfied with.

    Skip the vow renewal.  If you feel the need to plan a party & spend exorbitant amounts of money on a few hours of fun, throw a fabulous kick butt party -without the wedding do-over baggage- for some other special occasion.  Isn't one of you turning 30 or 40 in the next few years?

    Or, divorce him, go through the pain & suffering of the breaking apart of a marriage, the angst of single parenthood (which it looks like you have had some experience with), the joys of dating with children (ditto) and then, once you find someone to marry, THEN come back & talk to us about your actual second wedding. ~Donna

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  • srsjpsrsjp
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_wedding-redo-with-a-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:19412030-2123-489a-a246-33bd3754a3f7Post:7a6048cb-3df7-4844-97b5-e8c6d6b68b80">Re: Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal</a>:
    [QUOTE]What Angie said is the nicest reply you'll get. The goal of a wedding is to end up married.  You accomplished THAT, right?  Then its the details of a party that you are dissatisfied with. Skip the vow renewal.  If you feel the need to plan a party & spend exorbitant amounts of money on a few hours of fun, throw a fabulous kick butt party -without the wedding do-over baggage- for some other special occasion.  Isn't one of you turning 30 or 40 in the next few years? Or, divorce him, go through the pain & suffering of the breaking apart of a marriage, the angst of single parenthood (which it looks like you have had some experience with), the joys of dating with children (ditto) and then, once you find someone to marry, THEN come back & talk to us about your actual second wedding. ~Donna
    Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]
    I am shocked at the way you two think it is ok to talk to this woman who is obviously excited about renewing her vows. If you want to talk down to people and make them feel bad about making a choice for their life then go to a hater website. Because the people on this website are planning a wonderful happy day in their life and we dont want to hear your crap. I hope you can find happiness in your life and stop being so bitter and mean. Life is so short. Get a life and get off this site!
    Report Reply
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    Yes, here we go again. We're bitter old hags and you feel sorry for our husbands. Oh, wait. You're also supposed to say: you don't know me!!!! I don't look kindly upon the doovers either, and most women on this board think they are gift grabby. So, you didn't get your way? Oh well. You had choices and you made them. I would give a serious side eye to anyone sending me an invitation to a doover for a 6th anniversary and probably decline the invitation.
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited July 2012
    srsjp - the OP wants a PPD - you obviously don't get why there is a Second Wedding Community...

    And yes I'm an old hag - extremely happy and happily married!!  

    Just was trying to explain to the OP why she wouldn't get any "love" from the women here.

    Perhaps this is MUD?

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  • sumner0510sumner0510 member
    First Comment
    If you choose to be angry, ugly, bitter, loveless people, then that's okay. But to show your tails on someones post is disrespectful. You'de do better to just not reply at all. To be honest, you'll probably be back in a few years with another blog or rooms titled "Third (or Fourth) Wedding". Good luck to your future spouses. They'll need it.
    Mrs. Sumner
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  • sumner0510sumner0510 member
    First Comment
    edited July 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_wedding-redo-with-a-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:19412030-2123-489a-a246-33bd3754a3f7Post:7397cf42-1c01-49a5-8db2-52f74b74fa03">Re: Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal : I am shocked at the way you two think it is ok to talk to this woman who is obviously excited about renewing her vows. If you want to talk down to people and make them feel bad about making a choice for their life then go to a hater website. Because the people on this website are planning a wonderful happy day in their life and we dont want to hear your crap. I hope you can find happiness in your life and stop being so bitter and mean. Life is so short. Get a life and get off this site!
    Posted by srsjp[/QUOTE]



    Thank you srsjp for your support. I truely did not expect to get personal attacked by other participants of the site.
    Mrs. Sumner
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  • sumner0510sumner0510 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_wedding-redo-with-a-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:19412030-2123-489a-a246-33bd3754a3f7Post:7a6048cb-3df7-4844-97b5-e8c6d6b68b80">Re: Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal</a>:
    [QUOTE]What Angie said is the nicest reply you'll get. The goal of a wedding is to end up married.  You accomplished THAT, right?  Then its the details of a party that you are dissatisfied with. Skip the vow renewal.  If you feel the need to plan a party & spend exorbitant amounts of money on a few hours of fun, throw a fabulous kick butt party -without the wedding do-over baggage- for some other special occasion.  Isn't one of you turning 30 or 40 in the next few years? Or, divorce him, go through the pain & suffering of the breaking apart of a marriage, the angst of single parenthood (which it looks like you have had some experience with), the joys of dating with children (ditto) and then, once you find someone to marry, THEN come back & talk to us about your actual second wedding. ~Donna
    Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]



    I dont need to be 40 and have gone through exactly what you have been through to celebrate my marriage multiple times. I've gone through my share of crazy and dangerous relationships, engagements that weren't healthy and single parenthood. However I choose to move past that. You dont know me or where I have been, but yet you judge me becuase you assume that I can't relate to your struggle. I would greatly appreciate it if you keep your nasty comments to yourself. Your personal attacks arent welcomed and are unwarranted. If you or your friends choose to attack me again, I'll just report you again. I have the right to post my excitement on TheKnot.com as you do and will not be bullied becuase you are having a bad day.
    Mrs. Sumner
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  • coopsbabycoopsbaby member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_wedding-redo-with-a-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:19412030-2123-489a-a246-33bd3754a3f7Post:65c481d1-4713-476e-b5ea-ff05e7dec030">Re: Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal : I dont need to be 40 and have gone through exactly what you have been through t<strong>o celebrate my marriage multiple times</strong>. I've gone through my share of crazy and dangerous relationships, engagements that weren't healthy and single parenthood. However I choose to move past that. You dont know me or where I have been, but yet you judge me becuase you assume that I can't relate to your struggle. I would greatly appreciate it if you keep your nasty comments to yourself. Your personal attacks arent welcomed and are unwarranted. If you or your friends choose to attack me again, I'll just report you again. I have the right to post my excitement on TheKnot.com as you do and will not be bullied becuase you are having a bad day.
    Posted by sumner0510[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Then how about a lovely anniversary party?

    </div>
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  • sumner0510sumner0510 member
    First Comment
    Or I can continue the Vow Renewal.
    Mrs. Sumner
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  • annie912annie912 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_wedding-redo-with-a-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:19412030-2123-489a-a246-33bd3754a3f7Post:05508490-3a1c-4182-9315-5e11be0d9825">Re: Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal</a>:
    [QUOTE]I<strong>f you choose to be angry, ugly, bitter, loveless people,</strong> then that's okay. But to show your tails on someones post is disrespectful. You'de do better to just not reply at all. To be honest, you'll probably be back in a few years with another blog or rooms titled "Third (or Fourth) Wedding". Good luck to your future spouses. They'll need it.
    Posted by sumner0510[/QUOTE]

    Wow. Way to make friends. While everyone is welcome to post here, a little piece of advice. Check the post counts under the screen names. You'll see who the regulars are. Chances are if someone's been here awhile, they may have some good advice. Walking into an online community and throwing a hissy fit right off the bat usually isn't the most effective approach.

    No one was rude to you. They gave very straight forward opinions. When you post, you open yourself up to that. If you don't want that, you might be better served somewhere else. But, if you can pull on your big girl panties and not insulting people who disagree with you (compare your comments to theirs - yours were the insulting ones) maybe you'll even get to like some of the regulars here.

    I will admit that I don't always agree with some of the comments made here, but I really respect the women on this board, their experience and their opinions. If you can't do that, I don't see why you would even want to post here, other than to just create drama.
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  • annie912annie912 member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_wedding-redo-with-a-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:19412030-2123-489a-a246-33bd3754a3f7Post:3c62565e-8145-4a7d-99fe-ddd502cee231">Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal</a>:
    [QUOTE]So our original wedding wasn't at all what I wanted. Everyone else thought it was nice, but my vision was derailed by attempting to satisfy everyone else. So to make up for it, I intend to renew my vows on<strong> our 6th anniversary </strong>the way it was initially supposed to go. <strong>This time I have much more time to plann, 2.5 years</strong> vs 4 months. Plus my baby girl is a little older, 7 years old, so she is putting in her input. I'm excited and look forward to the planning and event. Any suggestions to make it more enjoyable and easier?
    Posted by sumner0510[/QUOTE]

    So, if I'm doing the math right, if you have 2.5 years to plan the vow renewal you're doing on your 6th anniversary, so far you've been married a grand total of 3.5 years. Why so soon and what's so special about your 6th anniversary?
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  • sumner0510sumner0510 member
    First Comment
    My 6th wedding anniversary would mark our 10th year together. In addition I return from Afghanistan next Summer. It will give us time to rebuild what may be broken and save some money. 2016 is a good year if everything works out.
    Mrs. Sumner
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_wedding-redo-with-a-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:19412030-2123-489a-a246-33bd3754a3f7Post:d6b3b6fb-b98d-4f9d-b9f0-8c3fbcc67c27">Re: Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal</a>:
    [QUOTE]My 6th wedding anniversary would mark our 10th year together. In addition I return from Afghanistan next Summer. <strong>It will give us time to rebuild what may be broken</strong> and save some money. 2016 is a good year if everything works out.
    Posted by sumner0510[/QUOTE]

    Hmmmm...I'd work on that above everything else.
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    @Marrin I agree with you about her working on what's broken... 

    Thank you Retread.
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  • sumner0510sumner0510 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_wedding-redo-with-a-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:19412030-2123-489a-a246-33bd3754a3f7Post:4fba102b-f908-44cb-ab93-bc8f173125b8">Re: Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding Redo with a Vow Renewal : MODERATOR:  Ms. Sumner, nobody has issued personal attacks except you.  Your posts are unacceptable and if you continue in this manner I will have no choice but to ban you. Last warning.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]



    Please do me the favor and ban me.
    Mrs. Sumner
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