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What should I do?!?

britlatham88britlatham88 member
in Wedding Woes
I'm in quite the dilemma... My fiance and I have been dating for a little over 4 years. He has a twin brother who has been with a girl for almost 5 years. Over the last 4 years, her and my relationship has been very rocky. Sometimes we're best friends but that is usually only when we have to be around each other. Otherwise, I am constantly hearing from others that she just can't say anything nice about me. Well, just this past year, they ended up getting married and I was the very last bridesmaid. I was even unasked and then asked again to be a bridesmaid after a big fight. She is younger so I largely attribute this to her immaturity but I just don't have the patience to put up with so much drama. So now that it is my wedding, I would love nothing more than to not have to deal with her. But, she is now my fiance's new sister-in-law. So with all of that being said, I just don't know what I should do. She technically is my future husband's SIL and I was in her wedding. I am a very care-free person and she knows that I do not like drama and I will go out of my way to make sure I avoid it at all costs. I don't think it would be a huge surprise to her if I didn't ask but I know she would be infuriated... HELP!!
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Re: What should I do?!?

  • Zippy88kZippy88k member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It makes absolutely no difference that you were in her wedding. If you can't stand her, you can not include her. Realize this will cause drama and will cause her to bad mouth you. Perhaps consider giving her a lesser job, such as guest book attendant.
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  • mgietler76mgietler76 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Weddings are not tit for tat, you do not need to have her in your wedding because you were in hers. Choose a wedding party with people who love and support you and your relationship, if she says something just tell her as nicely as you can that you've already chosen your WP and you can't wait for her to be a guest.

    ETA -  Do not make her a guest book attendant, this is a job that is not only not necessary but a little offensive IMO, just have her as a guest.
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  • gouteshgoutesh
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you don't want her in your wedding party, then don't ask her.  It doesn't matter that you were in hers.  If she asks about it, just calmly explain that you didn't want to have a huge wedding party or something like that.  If she makes a fuss then it will reflect poorly on her, not you.
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  • lisaandcoreylisaandcorey
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the other posters.  Don't fake the funk...you don't have to explain your decision not to have her as a BM to anyone.
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  • KaylaSue19KaylaSue19
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm with the PP's. I am sure it will cause family drama, but if you don't want her as a BM don't ask her.
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You're not obligated to ask her by any means. But consider which will be more damaging to your relationship going forward. All a bridesmaid has to do is wear the dress you choose and stand up front during the ceremony. If you think she'll never forgive you for not asking, it might be worth it to just suck it up and let her stand there.
    photo DSC_2244copy.jpg
    Crap...I Mean Crafts
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I see Duckis's point, but seriously, I wouldn't ask her.  You wouldn't believe how many people come on here complaining that they asked someone they didn't like to be in their BP and it all went to hell in a handbasket. 

    ::eyes LynnTegan post with her too-dark MOH::
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