bridesmaid gifts + hair*makeup = yikes!?

Re: bridesmaid gifts + hair*makeup = yikes!?

• bells24412

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I was in a wedding for one of my friends and she gave us a g/c to the salon and Victoria Secret Lotion. I thought that was really nice.
  
  My new sister-in-law this past October gave us totes filled with bobby pins, and breath spray, santizer for hands, lotion, etc. Plus she put flip flops and a shawl for us to wear on the wedding day since the shoes that we had to buy hurt.
  
  Hope this helps....

  

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• KBinRI member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I didn't have a wedding party but, in my Knot travels, I've found many believe that anything you give to your girls for the "day of" - whether that's jewelry, shoes, hair/makeup, etc. - isn't really a thank-you gift. (And having been a BM, it's not really a "gift" to give me earrings I hate that the bride says I must wear! Haha.) It's very nice of you to want to pay for hair and makeup for your BMs, but you're certainly not obligated unless you are requiring them to wear their hair a certain way (like matching up-dos) or have professional makeup. If you can offer only one, I'd say hair because I'll bet most are more comfortable doing their own or one another's makeup. I'd think they certainly will understand why you are having yours done professionally!
  
  If I were in your shoes, I'd rather get them a nice thank-you gift that they can remember their participation in the wedding by, and then offer them the opportunity to have their hair/makeup done. You could phrase it like, "I've hired XXX to do hair and makeup for my mom and me. If you're interested in having yours done, too, she charges XXX for hair and XXX for makeup. I'd just need to let her know by (date) if you're interested so we can schedule enough time for all of us."
  
  As for gifts for BMs, girls on my month board spent anything from $30 to hundreds of dollars on Coach bags, Tiffany necklaces, etc. depending on their budget. It is nice to get them something as a memento and to thank them for all of the work they put into your shower, bachelorette and other wedding stuff, but at the end of the day, your friends agreed to stand up for you because they love you, not because they are looking forward to the gifts, so do what you can afford.

  Kristen and Bryan ~ 10-10-10
  

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• jmorta04 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I think it's a really personal decision as to how much you spend and what you spend it on.  I have known my BM since childhood and they are all spending a lot of money on dresses, travel, hotel, etc. for my wedding and all of the other things associated with it.  I know they are doing it happily, as I did for them, but I made sure to budget a significant amount for their gifts.  I am paying for their hair and makeup (about $150 each) and then got them a Lands' End tote, flip flops, pajamas, personalized hanger, and a beach towel (about another $100 each).  I also paid for the sash for their dresses and a friend of mine is making earrings for them...neither one of which I consider to be a gift, but it will be included with their other gifts.  Again, I think it completely depends on what you can afford and have budgeted for.  I have been in weddings where hair and makeup was offered as an option that the BM paid for themselves and it was completely fine.  Do whatever you are comfortable with.

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• RoyalOrient member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  As a bridesmaid, I appreciated it  when the bride covered for my day of expenses or any extras they wanted me to do like wear jewelry I wasn't particularly fond of or have my nails painted green. However, I don't believe a bride is expected to pay for these things, it's just a generous gesture. As for gifts, there is no minimum or maximum amount one should spend, this is entirely up to the bride. Whatever you decide to give as a gift, just make sure you add a personal item and not give everyone the same thing. A hand written thank you note is also a great way to express gratitude.
  
  As for me, I choose to have a small bridal party so I could pay for their hair and make up expenses. I have one MOH and one bridesmaid.  I also wanted to pay for my mom and sister to have their hair and make up done too. My make up artist charged $75 per person at the time (her glam squad has lower rates) and my hair stylist charges $40 so I was able to do it especially after purchasing a gift card for a discount. I also got them personal trinkets too with a $50 budget in mind. You can always offer to pay for one service or ask them to pitch in whatever they can to help.
  

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• kdemos

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  wow, thanks, ladies!  This is all great advice!  I would definitely like to get my girls something special (that they can actually enjoy after the day).
  
  thanks again! 
  

  

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• i2012do member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I think offering hair and makeup is nice, but I agree with all the PP's.. I think getting something nice that is meaningful that they can use for years to come would be nice.
  
  I personally, can not afford to pay for my girls hair and makeup...but still wanted to do something nice for them. I am having matching robes (in differing fabrics, but a cohesive color theme) made for each of my BM's my mother and my FMIL.
  Something we can wear while getting ready, for a cute photo op and also after the event. I am tailoring each fabric choice to the girl it is for... and not one is alike.
  
  As well, I am lucky enough to have 3 makeup artist friends attending my wedding- that have offered to do the BM's makeup if they want it done...if the girls chose to use them I'm likely going to also buy them a small gift.
  
  I know that as a bridesmaid in the past, while it was a nice that my friend paid for my hair-- it was not at all expected..just a pleasant surprise.
  
  I also know, having been a bridesmaid in the past-- that getting a nice "little "something does make you feel appreciated...so your budget should dictate what this is.
  
  I would advise however, to be pretty cohesive with the gift and the budget of your wedding. From personal experience, I was given a pair of earrings that I saw on sale for $11 at Nordstrom for an attendants gift...this would not have been an issue and would have been fine-- if that was the brides's budget. However, I was attending and participating in her over $65,000 wedding where no expense was spared by her or her fiance (they foot the bill) and I was also expected to buy a $380 bridesmaid dress--so it made me feel underappreciated and a bit hurt.
  
  I feel that you are being VERY generous to your girls to offer to do that and also thinking about a gift. If you can't afford both, I agree that hair is a nice touch- -since most bridal parties have at least one talented "makeup" guru among them or a close friend.

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• Jfedoronko

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I've been in MANY weddings, and no bride has ever paid for my hair/make-up to be done (not even my sister-in-law when she married my brother...), nor has anyone paid for my nails.  I've always received a gift of some sort, such as a necklace/piece of jewelry that the bride wanted all the BMs to wear for the day of.  I never expected for anyone to pay for my hair/makeup, nor my nails, nor a massage or anything else like that.  I'm sure they will be happy with whatever you choose to give them.  What's most important is that you all enjoy yourselves and have fun on the big day!  :-)

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