NWR: My biggest regret in years (Very long)

CowgirlK39 · March 2012

... is getting my friend Joe a job with me.

I posted a long time ago (my first post in this forum) about him. I got him a job about 8 months ago on the farm. We were in a bind for reliable help and I knew Joe would be great since he liked farming a lot. I've known Joe for years and we all know that he can be a bit extreme about things sometimes. When he gets into something, he spends 100% of his time and attention on it. But then, he moves on in 6 months and does something else.

I hate working with him. He has become so "into" the farm that he literally thinks he is taking over. Joe always was the king of BS stories, but now he makes up blatant lies about how the bosses tell him he is wonderful and how he "know so much more" than them (I found out right from them that they never said these things to him). I work there 20 hrs/wk. He just quit his full time job to work on the farm 40 hrs, so now he treats me like I am new. Everytime I walk in the door, something is different all of a sudden, even though it has been a certain way for the past 2 years I have been there. I will ask why something is different and Joe will say "oh we do it this way now." Oh thats funny, because I was here 24 hours ago and it wasn't like that.

He made me downright irate yesterday. The farmer's 7 year old daughter looks up to me in the biggest way, and I love her to pieces. But yesterday she followed Joe around and asked him what was going on when certain issues came up. He kept telling her "Because Christine messed it up" and "because Christine is too slow." I would then inform him that I did not do a thing wrong, but then I had a child following me saying "Why did you do that wrong? Joe said you messed it up." It's like he is sabotaging me on every level. When the farmer asks me to do something, Joe jumps in and either tells me I'm doing it wrong, or takes over. I know what the hell I am doing, and I DO NOT need him standing over my shoulder all the time! He also comes over my apt uninvited and brags about how great he is and how he is the only person who knows how to do anything there.

I have told my bosses how I feel, and they know he's batty, but they don't really care. As long as he comes in to work and works hard, he's fine. I also can't complain too much because I got him the job. I honestly am on the verge of quitting because i can't handle the constant battling with him.

Ok, end long rant. Thanks.

mamameech · March 2012

Vent away - that would irritate the hell outta me too.

volleygurl0306 · March 2012

Yuck! That sucks. One thing I'd do first and foremost, is stop letting him in your house when he stops by uninvited. Depending on where you live this may not be rude but invited or not, it is rude to come into someone's house and indirectly tell them they aren't good at their job. When he knocks on the door just say it isn't a good time (he'll get the hint hopefully). It doesn't solve your work issues but at least leaves your work issues at work! Only you know if quitting is the right move but that seems kinda sucky that that would happen. Maybe if you told your bosses that they would care?

BMcLeodTeam · March 2012

Definitely vent away, the girls here are all great for that! I would be irritated too, had a similar situation at my last job and that's one of the many reasons why I changed jobs at the end of Jan, I just couldn't take it anymore!

morenachica110 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_nwr-my-biggest-regret-in-years-very-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:ed6a540d-980f-48f9-9e26-be536f643a0aPost:266ddbe6-fd28-47b5-90b2-f4a232e6882c">Re: NWR: My biggest regret in years (Very long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Yuck! That sucks. One thing I'd do first and foremost, is stop letting him in your house when he stops by uninvited. Depending on where you live this may not be rude but invited or not, it is rude to come into someone's house and indirectly tell them they aren't good at their job. When he knocks on the door just say it isn't a good time (he'll get the hint hopefully). It doesn't solve your work issues but at least leaves your work issues at work! Only you know if quitting is the right move but that seems kinda sucky that that would happen. Maybe if you told your bosses that they would care?
Posted by volleygurl0306[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah. I have this weird thing about not wanting people to stop by. So I just stare at them through the peep hole until they leave. Seriously. And if they were like "Oh, I saw your car!" Then I tell them I was in the shower. Or just in the bathroom for a really long time. lol!</div>

romamor4 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_nwr-my-biggest-regret-in-years-very-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:ed6a540d-980f-48f9-9e26-be536f643a0aPost:266ddbe6-fd28-47b5-90b2-f4a232e6882c">Re: NWR: My biggest regret in years (Very long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Yuck! That sucks. One thing I'd do first and foremost, is stop letting him in your house when he stops by uninvited. Depending on where you live this may not be rude but invited or not, it is rude to come into someone's house and indirectly tell them they aren't good at their job. When he knocks on the door just say it isn't a good time (he'll get the hint hopefully). It doesn't solve your work issues but at least leaves your work issues at work! Only you know if quitting is the right move but that seems kinda sucky that that would happen. Maybe if you told your bosses that they would care?
Posted by volleygurl0306[/QUOTE]

<div>This is exactly what I was thinking. First off, don't let him come over. Second off, tell your bosses that you can't handle it anymore and are seriously considering leaving. Hopefully that will move them to have a talk with him. Is he a supervisor to you in any manner? Don't let him step all over you like that anymore. I would recommend even confronting him if none of the above seem to change things. That just sucks and I would be soooo irate if I were you!!</div>

josephwedding · March 2012

I agree with PPs on not allowing him (or anyone) to just hop over! It's kinda rude to do.

As far as work goes, continue to express your frustrations to your supervisors. I'd tell Joe it's NOT okay to bad mouth you or any other employee like that, because I'm sure he'd be pretty upset if it was the reverse situation.

[Deleted User] · March 2012

OMG I am in the same situation!!! I got a job and a girl who I knew was unemployed so when a secretary position opened up where I was so I asked her if she wanted it. I figured she could make money until she found something else. That was the biggest mistake of my life! The chick ends up getting moved up and now thinks she is the VP. To make matters worse she's totally unreliable, rude and condescending to everyone...no one can stand her. Last summer she tried her hardest to get me fired bc she wanted my job and my office. I have tried to look at this positively, I learned a valuable lesson and won't put myself in a position like this again but at the same time I walk into work everyday wondering what it would be like if she wasn't there.

I feel your pain :-(

CowgirlK39 · March 2012

Ugh I posted but Tk ate it.

We have stopped letting him in because he got so unbearable, and he doesn't bathe so my apt smells worse than the barn does for hours after he leaves. We tried ignoring him when he rings the doorbell but he will then call us and ask why we won't let him in. I have used the shower excuse lol.

He has the same job as me, except that he is now full time. So he is by no means a supervisor. When the bosses tell him to do certain chores, he goes and tells me that they gave him this job because they want him to run the whole farm. i am so tempted some days to just say "No, Joe, they tell you to do it because.... brace yourself... they just need you to do it!"

The biggest issue I have with Joe is that he is a TERRIBLE animal handler. He yells and screams at them as if they know english. When it comes to cows, that is the WORST thing you can do. But if you try to help him or tell him to stop, he just keeps doing it because he thinks he knows everything!

calindi · March 2012

That's so sucky! Since he's a friend, have you thought about sitting him down and telling him he's not only hurting your feelings, he's making you look bad? And that as a friend and a colleague, that's both unprofessional and rude, and that it's ruining your friendship. If you can't do that, then it probably is time to find another job because he sounds like a real pill as a colleague. I work in a stressful environment, and I know the toll it takes on you to feel like you have to watch your back to make sure someone doesn't stick a knife in it and pin all the blame on you - "She stabbed HERSELF in the back! Look what a mess she makes of things!" - while they have blood on their own hands.

NWR: My biggest regret in years (Very long)

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