How to not offend anyone.

KSParker2012 · May 2012

I have been teaching at a school since January. We all have become really close like a family but I am unsure of how to invite people and not offend others. The ladies I work closest with and my principal I am sending a personal invite to, but what about everyone else, other teachers, secretaries etc. I love them all and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I also do not have enough room or invites to send to everyone at school. So should I just put one up in the teacher's lounge and kind of informally invite people if they want, or just leave it at the ladies I teach with and the principal. Another hitch is the wedding is 2 hours away from where I teach and its on a Friday so I doubt a lot of them can come. I just don't want anyone to think badly. Suggestions are much appreciated!!!

devilishangel61401 · May 2012

I can understand not wanting to offend anyone but I dont think it would be a great idea to post an invite in the teacher's lounge because then everyone will assume they can come to the wedding. Why not hand deliver the invitations to those coworkers you'd like to have come? If anyone asks about why they couldn't come you could just politetly say something like.. "Im sorry we just dont have enough space at our venue to have everyone we wanted to have attented" Good luck best wishes

MoonlightSilver · May 2012

I really don't think putting up an invite in the teacher's lounge is a good idea. First of all, you won't know who's coming because they can't return RSVPs. Secondly, if you don't have the room to invite everyone, you might get more people than you can accomodate and then you'll have to kick people out- a really bad idea.

Decide on our guest list, first. If you can afford to accomodate everyone, that's great. If not, pick those you really want to be there. Then, send invitations to the homes of the people you choose to invite. Do not give them out at work, so that people who aren't invited don't feel slighted.

Remember you have to invite the significant others of anyone you invite.

If anyone brings up the fact that they didn't get an invitation, just say something like "Sorry, we couldn't invite everyone we wanted to be there." Then change the subject.

libby2483 · May 2012

It sounds like we are in a very similar situation. I have worked in a school for one year, and I am getting married about two hours away from where I work. I am only inviting the coworkers in my department (8 people including their SOs and kids). That way, there is a clear cut-off and hopefully no hurt feelings. Putting up an invitation in the teacher's lounge could turn into a nightmare. People invited in such a casual manner might not RSVP, and it would be difficult to know how many people are coming for food and venue size purposes.

kiki1978 · May 2012

I'm a teacher in a huge elementary school. We could not afford to invite everyone in my grade level (16 teachers) and their families, let alone everyone who works in the school. I only invited the people I'm closest to. I didn't post an invitation in the teacher's lounge because then people would see it as a a group invitation. I mailed the invitations to the people who I put on the guest list. That's the easiest way to do it because then no one really knows who was invited and who wasn't. Most people are very understanding of budgets and venue restrictions. I only had a couple people bring it up and when I explained that we were having a small wedding they were very understanding.

MyNameIsNot · May 2012

Mail the invitations to those you'd like to invite. Do not hand deliver them at school and do not post anything about the wedding at school. Casually mention to the ones that you are inviting that you won't be inviting the whole school, and avoid wedding talk at work.

It's very common to invite only some co-workers or only those that you see outside of work. People don't expect you to invite everyone you've ever met. If any of the uninvited teachers are rude enough to ask, politely say "Oh, it's sweet of you to think of us, but unfortunately we weren't able to invite everyone we would have liked" and change the subject.

HobokensFury · May 2012

Only invite those you are closest to- ie those you socialize with outside of school. Do not put anything up in the teacher's lounge.

littleluckypenny · May 2012

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you put up a sheet in the lounge. It's not a get-together; it's a wedding. Not only that, you can run into major problems if tons of people sign up.

There was another bride a week or two ago posting in a panic because she put a sheet up at work. Lots of people signed up and now she has absolutely no idea how to accommodate these people, as she is now over budget AND over capacity for the wedding. Now she wants to uninvite people, which she can't do without looking like a complete a$$.

I strongly suggest only inviting (if any) people from work who you associate with outside of work. People get it. They know weddings are expensive and the couple can't invite everyone, especially everyone they work with. Don't try to include everyone out of trying to not have them feel left out or potential hurt feelings.

Summer2011Bride · May 2012

I'm also a teacher and out of all my co-workers, only invited the 6 I was closest to. I just thought "Who do I see socially outside of work events?" and invited only those people. I would definitely NOT post an invite in the teacher's lounge. You are liable to get way more people than you can accommodate, and like a PP said, you have no way of knowing who will show as they can't RSVP then.

I mailed the invitations to my co-workers since they went out in the summer. I wouldn't even have an issue with hand-delivering the invites to the co-workers you're inviting, but I would definitely give each person their own invitation and not post anything anywhere at work. Many of my colleages have had weddings that I wasn't invited to and I was never offended. People understand you have budget and space issues and they also understand that you are not equally close to everyone.

How to not offend anyone.

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