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Guest RSVP'd for 2 but I didn't give him a plus one!

mglatzermglatzer
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We are paying for most of our wedding ourselves, so we were careful when putting together our guest list.  I had a friend of mine RSVP for 2 (he is not engaged or married; and furthermore I have no idea if he's dating someone exclusively) but we clearly did not give him a plus one on his invitation.  The outer envelope was addressed just to him and the RSVP card only had a space for one name.

How do I tell him that we didn't include a plus one for him on our list?

Thanks!
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Re: Guest RSVP'd for 2 but I didn't give him a plus one!

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    mglatzermglatzer
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvpd-for-2-but-i-didnt-give-him-a-plus-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:84699318-5516-4a55-8bc3-df380305f26fPost:7d9ddc4d-515b-443a-8513-9cf0a9178eb2">Re: Guest RSVP'd for 2 but I didn't give him a plus one!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Guest RSVP'd for 2 but I didn't give him a plus one! : If he is dating someone exclusively, and that's the guest he indicated, she should be invited.  I would call and ask who she is.  If he says it's just a friend, you can just explain the invitation was only for him.
    Posted by Edie Bee[/QUOTE]

    He didn't indicate a name - so that kind of leads me to believe that he wants to bring someone but doesn't know who yet.  Ugh.  So awkward.
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    NOLAbridealmostNOLAbridealmost member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvpd-for-2-but-i-didnt-give-him-a-plus-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:84699318-5516-4a55-8bc3-df380305f26fPost:72b359e8-10be-4ad3-8eaf-5ffe3de3cabc">Re: Guest RSVP'd for 2 but I didn't give him a plus one!</a>:
    [QUOTE]"Oh,<strong> I'm so sorry if we confused you.  We have a limited guest list, and can't accommodate guests of guests."</strong> I'll never understand why some guests expect the couple to entertain random people they don't know at a personal event like a wedding.  I<strong>'ll never understand how a "plus one" could be comfortable at the wedding of a couple s/he doesn't know, either.</strong>
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    <div>1) As to the first point: absolutely call and say this.  Unless they identify themselves as a couple, the "plus one" does not have to be invited and it was rude of him to add a guest.  If he has a girlfriend and they think of themselves as a couple she ought to be invited though. </div><div>
    </div><div>2) Dude! I LOVE going as plus ones to weddings.  It's all the fun and none of the visiting with great-aunts, drunk uncles, etc.  Maybe I just love to be the "fun, generous stranger" but I have always had the most fun at weddings where I don't know anyone.</div>
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    mglatzermglatzer
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvpd-for-2-but-i-didnt-give-him-a-plus-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:84699318-5516-4a55-8bc3-df380305f26fPost:72b359e8-10be-4ad3-8eaf-5ffe3de3cabc">Re: Guest RSVP'd for 2 but I didn't give him a plus one!</a>:
    [QUOTE]"Oh, I'm so sorry if we confused you.  We have a limited guest list, and can't accommodate guests of guests." I'll never understand why some guests expect the couple to entertain random people they don't know at a personal event like a wedding.  I'll never understand how a "plus one" could be comfortable at the wedding of a couple s/he doesn't know, either.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    Thank you!  My thoughts exactly! 

    Great Steel Magnolias quote too!  Love Louisa!!!!
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvpd-for-2-but-i-didnt-give-him-a-plus-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:84699318-5516-4a55-8bc3-df380305f26fPost:6176f6b2-cada-4bee-bcd5-268a0c3e463e">Re: Guest RSVP'd for 2 but I didn't give him a plus one!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guest RSVP'd for 2 but I didn't give him a plus one! : 1) As to the first point: absolutely call and say this.  Unless they identify themselves as a couple, the "plus one" does not have to be invited and it was rude of him to add a guest.  If he has a girlfriend and they think of themselves as a couple she ought to be invited though.  2) <strong>Dude! I LOVE going as plus ones to weddings. </strong> It's all the fun and none of the visiting with great-aunts, drunk uncles, etc.  Maybe I just love to be the "fun, generous stranger" but I have always had the most fun at weddings where I don't know anyone.
    Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

    I have to admit, that's totally different from me.  If I only knew one other person at a place, I'd feel uncomfortable, even as that person's plus-one.
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    KDM323KDM323 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    See, I think it is incredibly rude to invite an adult to a wedding without giving them the option of bringing a date. 

    If I couldn't give everyone on my guest list the ability to bring a plus 1 - then I'd reevaluate my guest list and/or my venue.

    If he indicated a +1 on his RSVP, he likely assumed that he was allowed a date...because adults are typically allowed to bring dates to weddings.  It can be VERY uncomfortable for individuals to attend a wedding alone and you may find that the 'singles' who are not allowed plus 1 (dates) will decline an invitation rather than attend alone.
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    KellyBrian2013KellyBrian2013
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvpd-for-2-but-i-didnt-give-him-a-plus-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:84699318-5516-4a55-8bc3-df380305f26fPost:1d851e56-140b-4005-a754-535f5c161545">Re: Guest RSVP'd for 2 but I didn't give him a plus one!</a>:
    [QUOTE]See, I think it is incredibly rude to invite an adult to a wedding without giving them the option of bringing a date.  If I couldn't give everyone on my guest list the ability to bring a plus 1 - then I'd reevaluate my guest list and/or my venue. If he indicated a +1 on his RSVP, he likely assumed that he was allowed a date...because adults are typically allowed to bring dates to weddings.  It can be VERY uncomfortable for individuals to attend a wedding alone and you may find that the 'singles' who are not allowed plus 1 (dates) will decline an invitation rather than attend alone.
    Posted by drexelkathy[/QUOTE]

    And see? I think that if you are SO uncomfortable attending a social function without a date (if you are not in an exclusive relationship with someone), ESPECIALLY if you know other people there, you have bigger issues than fighting with a bride & groom for a plus one. Just decline the invitation, rather than expecting the hosts to shell out additional money for someone they don't know and with whom you are not in a relationship with.
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