July 2013 Weddings


As you can see from an earlier post, I have purchased my dress and the bm has ordred hers. The moh, however hasn't. 

The dress for the girls is not my original choice. The moh, after giving me her budget limit ($150.00), complained about the cost of the dress, despite it being in her budget because MY dress was so inexpensive bc it went on clearance. I would have paid a lot more for that dress, it just happened to be on clearance when I showed the picture to Jason's mom, so she ordered it. The original bridesmaid dress was $99. The moh said she thought it was completely unfair to expect her to pay that much for her dress when mine was so much less. My bm didn't have a problem with the original dress and said she was so happy she'd show up in burlap if that's what I wanted her to wear. Needless to say, despite being very aggravated, I did look around and found the current bridesmaid dress, which also happened to be on clearance, for $30...$43 with tax and shipping. Well, now she says she can't afford that and wants me to order it for her and she will pay me when she sees me next.

I'm very hesitant to do this for a number of reasons. When she was last here (she lives a couple hours away and only comes to town every couple months), she complained about the flower color, complained inccesantly about how damn hot it was everytime we got out of the car, complained more about the heat when Jason's mom and I were showering her our plans in the backyard, complained about everything she could it seemed, not fond of my dress (frankly, idc that she doesnt like MY dress...it's MY wedding!). I kind of got the feeling she wasn't really interested in being int he wedding. When I asked her if she still wanted to be in the wedding, she said of course she does and she wouldn't miss it for anything.

Well, now we have this new issue with the dress and I'm hesitant to order it for her. I'm afraid I'd order it, it get here, and then at some point she says she's no longer interested in being in the wedding, leaving me with a bm dress. I'm totally fine with having just my one attendant so I wouldn't be THAT tore up over it, and in fact I could make my 14yo daughter a bm...plus there are a few gals who want to be a bm but because of budget constraints I am only having the 2. No one would feel like a second choice, as we are all older and understand the budget. If I could I would have EVERYONE that wants to, be in the wedding.

Anyway, I'm trying to decide...do I order the dress and hope she stays in the wedding? 

Seems that even thought this isn't my first wedding (or Jason's), some of the same old issues are arising since the last one. Thankfully, everything has been pretty stress free and I won't stress over this, but I do think I need to figure out what to do about it.
~*~June 21, 2014~*~

Re: Thoughts?

  • i wouldnt order it. i would sit down and tell her first u told me your budget was this and I found dresses for  the wedding then you nix that cause of budget so i found different dresses.  well now you have till X date to order it.  but its up to you.  and if you cant or wont order it i would love for u to be a guest if that works better for you. 

    maybe not as too the point.  but with that thought process lol

  • I agree with the PP. I wouldn't buy the dress. She gave you a budget then changed it. So you went out of your way to find another dress. 43 for a BM dress is super cheap if you ask me. It seems like she is just really miserable with all the complaining. It doesn't seem like she would pay you back either. Seems like both of you would be happier if she were a guest instead.
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  • Your MOH's reason for changing her dress budget is very strange to me... why does it matter that your dress costs less than hers? Is it possible that she is using this "reason" to hide some financial trouble she may be having that she doesn't want to share with anyone? Either way, you made a more than reasonable attempt to accommodate her...
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  • Yep, I would not buy it and I would further inquiry if she would like to serve as MOH. Not be be mean, but MOH is a big honor. Those that do crazy stuff show concern to me...
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  • Thanks, girls! I definately need to say something to her, but becaue I can come across a bit curtly I don;t want to be percieved as a bridezilla. I absolutely want things the way I want them at the wedding, but I also know that the wedding is just one day, the marriage we plan is for the rest of our lives...so I'm trying to be super cool and relaxed about the actual wedding.

    The BM received her dress this past week and sent me some pics with it on...and I LOVE IT! Plus I may be going to Texas (where she is) next month on a separate issue and we will be doing more wedding stuff since I'll be there.

    I'll definitely be speaking to the moh this week and tell her she must order her dress this week if she still plans to be in the wedding...if they still have her size in the right color.

    Anyway, thanks so much for your input!
    ~*~June 21, 2014~*~

  • So she decided she does want to still be in the wedding. I have decided that there will be no :moh" and they are just goig to be considered attendants, although my bridesmaid has totally taken over the moh "duties" and is having a great time doing so...she's been super helpful.

    the other gal did order her dress finally and received it last week...although I am still waiting to see a pic of it on her. She asked which color I prefer then ordered a different color *eyeroll* I guess the main thing is that it is in the right color family so I refuse to reak out over it :)

    ~*~June 21, 2014~*~

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