sorry i swear i am not drama just a rough time right now

Re: sorry i swear i am not drama just a rough time right now

• amh04

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I think anyone here will tell you that in the military life, moving happens - and it happens a lot. So it's something your going to have to get used to. It's scary at first, but if you don't dive in and go for things then you'll never know. It could be a great oppertunity for both of you. I'm not really sure what your asking - but if you want to move to be with him, then go for it - nothing/no one is going to stop you. We all will or have had to move a couple hundred miles from our own families, its just part of the lifestyle, plus I'm sure civilians at some point in time move away from their own hometown for work oppertunities.

  

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• JLAyen8861

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  oh i hear ya...just hard cause fi is kinda not hearing me.  i know and i want to move and be with him but why cant i say gosh this is kinda weird and a bit scary.  i guess just fustrated with fi because i felt he wasnt letting me just say im nervous about the move.  but he ran with that statement and was like so you dont want this anymore...
  basically what im saying fi is fustrating at the moment and i needed to get my worries out to someone...which that results me posting on the board   things will be back to good we always end up talking things through.  thank you guys for listening though, i like seeing what this board is about and seeing and being able to turn to people that can relate to things

  Be Brave and Live Life

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• SamiJoeB

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  This will just be a great opportunity for you to break out of your shell!!  Almost everyone is/was probably a little scared to move away from family and friends for the first time, but as far as I know, it's never killed anyone, so you'll be okay.  Men just aren't as compassionate & emotional as women are so you're FI is probably taking it personally, when I'm sure thats not how you mean it at all... If you're worried about living with your FI though, that sends up some red flags. 

  

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• JLAyen8861

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  oh not worried about living with him...just the change in job and such but wanting to be with him and start our life together out weighs those other worries

  Be Brave and Live Life

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• crownsuperstar member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I agree with Sami!  It will give you chance to break out of your shell.  I was 27 when I picked up and move to IN.  I did not know anyone.  Not one person.  It was the best experience of my life.  I have always been very out going but this forced me to be way more (if that was possible).  In turn, I met some really great people that I am still friends with today. 
  
  I would also suggest do not focus on your FI to be your life line so to speak.  Get out and make friends of your own.  Join a running club, book club, painting class or something that does allow you  life outside of that of yours and FI. 

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• matcha

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I think it is important that your FI listen to your concerns, even though there isn't anything tha can be changed about the situation.  It may be a good idea to discuss your frustration before marrying, just to be clear on what you need and what he can do.  Otherwise you may be left feeling lonely, which would be horrible. My FI struggles when he can't solve or fix the things I'm afraid of, because he wants to be the knight in shining armour.  It could be something similar.
  
  In the meantime, use the board for sure! After all, everyone needs some good girlfriends.  Take some classes, join a gym, and actively seek out new people when you move. It is definitely scary (change scares the crap out of me), but I've learned most growing experiences come with some terror. :-)  Just keep repeating "I'm learning and growing, I'm learning and growing..."
  

  Two Drifters Off To See The World...

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• BinxRose member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I was used to being 3 hours away for college, then moved halfway across the country to live with my now FI when I was 22. While I was very excited to no longer be long-distance from him, I bawled when saying bye to all my friends and family. Once I got here though, I felt much better. Especially because I got a lot of support from most of the other wives of the other guys in my FI's shop (this has changed since, as they stopped inviting me to things after one of the wives moved away in April. Not sure what that's all about, but whatever).

  
  

  I'm sorry your FI doesn't understand where you're coming from. I can't really relate, as mine is very understanding when I have those feelings. But I think if you just both relax and have an open conversation about it, he will understand. If he still takes it personally, there may be some other problems here.

  
  

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