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Father or Stepfather??

sjdanna88sjdanna88
in Wedding Woes
My dilemma is that I don't know if my step father or father should walk me down the aisle. My father and mother divorced when I was about 4 years old. Him and I were alot closer when I was a child because I was obligated to visit with him on holidays. Now him and I hardly speak. When we get together, I know things aren't great between us but we both act like everything is fine. We can't ever have a real, heartfelt conversation. My step dad, on the other hand, is a real genuine guy who has been in my life everyday since I was in kindergarten. I feel like I can talk to him about anything and he is always willing to help me out. I know that he would be so proud to walk me down the aisle, as I am his only daughter. Him and I have already talked about it and he said that whatever I decide is fine with him. I love my real father because he's my father but we are not very close. I also feel like my bio father's side of the family would be upset or shocked if I didn't have him walk me. I am so confused as to what I should do. My step dad said that he wouldn't want to walk me with my real dad. Honestly, I feel like my step dad should be the one to walk me but I don't want to upset my real father. When I talk to my real father about the wedding it doesn't even seem like he is happy for me. He has had 2 marriages that ended in divorce so I guess he figures mine will too. Any advice???
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Re: Father or Stepfather??

  • Wonderw1feWonderw1fe
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Have your stepfather walk you down the aisle and do the father/daughter dance with your biological father.
    ..
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  • tiffky79tiffky79
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think that's a tough situation.  If you've already spoken with your step-father about it and he's given you the clear for whatever makes you happy could you do the same with your father?  Does he know and understand that you are close to your step-father?  If you expressed to him that you are feeling conflicted about what to do would he immediately take offense or would he talk to you about it?  I wouldn't worry as much about your father's side of the family.  If you, your father and your step-father are ok with how you work things out then IMHO that's enough, you 3 are the ones directly involved. 

    If you don't think a talk would go over well then I would probably go with wonderw1fe's advice.
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  • kollhoffkollhoff
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Blow off your bio-father and let your stepfather have the honors.  He earned them. 

    If you 'upset' your bio father-- tough.  He should have done his job as a father rather than cop-out and expect to get the recognition.

    If you 'uspet' his side of the family-- tough.  They should blame him for not doing his job as a father instead of blaming you.  He turned his back on you first-- not the other way around.  (For the record-- my bio-father's side of the family isn't even invited.)
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