Is this rude?

KBabe076 · May 2012

We invited a family friend as well as her whole family (parents, 3 siblings & their SOs) to the wedding. She is single so we just put her name on the invite assuming she would be fine by herself bc her whole family is going to be there. Well she added a date and it's one of her friends that is a girl and I have never met her.

I thought this was strange - is it? It's really no biggie now bc I'm not going to tell her no. Have you guys seen a lot of ppl that just add some random person to the reception?

brittneyh4 · May 2012

Yes, a lot of people always add on random guests. Usually it's just easier to accommodate. I would allow this one, I definitely would want to bring a friend with me to a wedding even if my parents would be there. When I got a plus one (when I was single) I always brought this friend of mine, she loved weddings and loved to dance, assuming all the brides allowed it.

KBabe076 · May 2012

Hey whatever makes her feel more comfortable! I'm not going to tell her no - i just thought it was strange bc she's going to know so many ppl there. i def get what your saying tho, brittney

michellep1 · May 2012

I've gotten a couple. Unless they were in a relationship, I didn't invite my sorority sisters with a date because there will be a lot of them there and we just don't have the space. So far I've only had one of them write in a date, but I've had other people do it as well.

My aunt even asked me one day "since so and so isn't coming, can your cousin bring his girlfriend?" He wasn't dating this girl when invites went out and he will know TONS of people there, but I felt cornered so I said yes. We way overinvited though so it makes me really mad when people say "wellll this person isn't coming so we can add on...." NO WE CAN NOT!

MMRoberts11 · May 2012

Is it rude? Well, kinda. However there are different ways to handle it.

At first, when people asked me I said something like "I'd love for you to have a date but it's expensive and we're not sure if we can do any more people at this time." Really, the answer was you'll know at least a handful of people there and it's a small wedding so I don't really want you to bring some random person you're not dating that I don't know. I gave my friends the real answer because they get it. Was it rude though when someone put a friend as their date on the invite when they were just invited and didn't ask me about it? Yes. However, we're barely at minimum right now so I don't care.

KBabe076 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_is-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:63799a9f-bf9d-43ae-a969-25c03ea7c689Post:58f73941-8743-457c-adad-77f4b8e6f465">Re: Is this rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it rude? Well, kinda. However there are different ways to handle it. At first, when people asked me I said something like "I'd love for you to have a date but it's expensive and we're not sure if we can do any more people at this time." Really, the answer was <strong>you'll know at least a handful of people there and it's a small wedding so I don't really want you to bring some random person you're not dating that I don't know.</strong> I gave my friends the real answer because they get it. Was it rude though when someone put a friend as their date on the invite when they were just invited and didn't ask me about it? Yes. However, we're barely at minimum right now so I don't care.
Posted by MMRoberts11[/QUOTE]

Thank you...this was my thought exactly! I didn't feel comfortable enough to tell her no and my parents were cool with it (paying for the reception). So I didn't want to make a big deal about it

acaponi87 · May 2012

We only had 1 person do it. He's 17 or 18 and we didn't know that he had a girlfriend. I actually think his parents added it.

kristin183 · May 2012

I think it is kind of rude.. but at the same time pretty common.
I know when I was single it sucked to go to a wedding by myself (even if my parents were going) so bringing a friend was a safety blanket. I have a BM who was bringing her BF.. they broke up so she asked if she could bring her mom. I told her yes. She knows tons of people at the wedding too. I think it was more a comfort thing.

kelsey+brandon · May 2012

We haven't had any rando add-ons yet, but we have had 3 extras (total) added to RSVPs. At this point, I'm just happy people are sending their RSVPs back, so I don't really care.

2012FutureMrsB · May 2012

We invited a couple and they rsvp'd for 4 adults and one child! What the heck? We're not even having children at the wedding and we don't even know who these extra people are. I told FI to explain to them (they're his friends) that only the couple is invited. He asked me why it matters since we had some rsvp no and so we have room for them.

I explained that it's simply not fair to invite random people we don't know who were rudely added to the list, when we already had to cut over 50 people from our original list b/c we don't have the space! He understood that and proceeded to send the message to his friends. I'm not really sure what the response was b/c it was kinda vague, so we might have extra people showing up who won't have a place to sit. Oh well, we didn't invite them and we explained it to them, so I'm not going to stress about it. If they show up, it's not our fault.

KBabe076 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_is-this-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:63799a9f-bf9d-43ae-a969-25c03ea7c689Post:01775c40-23ce-46f8-b9cf-df2e54ce2e23">Re: Is this rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]We invited a couple and they rsvp'd for 4 adults and one child! What the heck? We're not even having children at the wedding and we don't even know who these extra people are. I told FI to explain to them (they're his friends) that only the couple is invited. He asked me why it matters since we had some rsvp no and so we have room for them. I explained that it's simply not fair to invite random people we don't know who were rudely added to the list, when we already had to cut over 50 people from our original list b/c we don't have the space! He understood that and proceeded to send the message to his friends. I'm not really sure what the response was b/c it was kinda vague, so we might have extra people showing up who won't have a place to sit. Oh well, we didn't invite them and we explained it to them, so I'm not going to stress about it. If they show up, it's not our fault.
Posted by 2012FutureMrsB[/QUOTE]

This is crazy to me!! I dont understand how people don't think this is rude. The names that are on the invite are the only people that are invited to the wedding.

abbitha7 · May 2012

I don't think it would be rude to say no. We're having a small, intimate wedding, and we've said no to almost everyone who has asked to bring a plus one, except for a friend coming from Germany, because I don't want people I don't know at the wedding. They are there to celebrate your special day with you and should respect that you invited only them and not a plus one.

khines18 · May 2012

Everyone we invited that was single (unmarried) we included "and guest" on their invites. I personally hate being invited alone. Weddings can be tough to go through if you're unattached.
But it was not right of her to assume and add to the RSVP before consulting you. Bets are that they'll have a very good time coming to support you in your union to FI. Enjoy that. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Megbo2012 · May 2012

Yeah it's rude.

tigurlily · June 2012

rude? kinda.
however, now that i think about it, i invited a few people just by their names, knowing that they'd invite their bf's. (and i have a particular aversion to "and guest".) i'd only met the bfs a few times, so i kinda didn't want to invite them by name since they're invited solely because they're dating my friends.
but we did have a couple surprise invites... one girl invited her guy friend, who i KNOW she's not dating. i've met him once. but whatever. and then one girl stole her dad's invite (she was NOT invited, for good reason) and sent back that she and her kid were coming... i was pretty shocked at that. but whatever. we have room. fi just said "she better bring a h*ll of a gift for that" lol.

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