Feeling Low - Arguement with FI

nitecheese · September 2012

Hi everyone. I hope that your day is off to a good start. I am feeling super-low today. It's raining (again), my allergies are going nuts and FI and I got into an arguement last night. It was one of the fights that just snowballed from out of nowhere and left me feeling awful. The thing that is resonating most is that he told me that I need to keep my anger in check. That scared me. My mom has a hell of temper and I *do not* want to emulate those behaviors. I am trying so hard to keep everything together and feel so overwhelmed. I would like today to be over.

Any good news on the board? I need a pick-me-up, in a big way.

Alisha9544 · September 2012

I hope you guys get to talk & you don't feel so crummy about the fight. I know fights are the worst. **Hugs** Good news....? Its my Dad's Birthday! lol Mine is the 30th & FI is throwing me a big birthday party this Saturday!! And I'm getting married in 9days!

srfr8908 · September 2012

I'm sorry you guys had an argument that's making your day difficult. I struggle with emulating some of my Mom's behaviors, too. Seeing how she would react to things my entire life, it's definitely a learned behavior, but I'm like you and don't want that to be how I react. It definitely is a daily battle, but worth the fight. :-)

For a pick me up......gosh, I don't know, haha. My dad hasn't started too well either! :-) I think it's a bit comical, though. So....I arrived at work an hour early today because I had an interview scheduled (I'm a journalist) and the person said that ONLY this time would work. So, I get in and see that an email was sent at 3:45 a.m. saying the person was having car trouble and might not be able to make it in by 7 a.m. and asked if 3 p.m. would work.....So, not only did I get in to the office early for nothing, but now I can't even capitalize on getting in early by LEAVING early because the interview is too late in the afternoon and I have to get the story produced before I go anyway. :-) HAPPY THURSDAY!

mana8503 · September 2012

These always make me smile:

minionlover · September 2012

You should talk to him abotu what happened yesterday. I will make you feel better. Hugs!

Good news. I did really good at the gym last night. I upped my weights for lifting and I am feeling great. I also lost a little bit more weight. 2 lbs more and I will be sooo happy.

And here is a picture the makes me laugh everytime I see it for your viewing pleasure.

ivedonethisb4 · September 2012

I'm sorry to hear..everything WILL work itself out. I too have the emulating my Mom problem and I hate it it really is a daily battle and thankfully FI understands but sometimes it is hard on him dealing with it. On the bright side of things we'll all be married in the blink of an eye! I finally got my dress yesterday and I'm SO happy it fits! We had to basically rebuild the back of the dress but hey, whatever it took to fit over my hips and now all the small things will fall in place.

jessiflower · September 2012

Sorry

That stinks...FI and I have had a few arguments over wedding stuff and I don't even know how it happened...just all the sudden, there we are yelling at each other...we never fight...and were not even really fighting about anything...I just think we are all stressed beyond normal...it will be okay...
One of my favorite quotes: and this too shall pass.....

Hope your day gets better!!!!

geieran · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_feeling-low-arguement-with-fi?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:95929884-53a2-4937-a4e0-21494a5b2adaPost:fde37e1b-20a1-4ca4-b372-7d8604aac72f">Re:Feeling Low Arguement with FI</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry to hear..everything WILL work itself out. I too have the emulating my Mom problem and I hate it it really is a daily battle and thankfully FI understands but sometimes it is hard on him dealing with it. On the bright side of things we'll all be married in the blink of an eye!<strong> I finally got my dress yesterday and I'm SO happy it fits! We had to basically rebuild the back of the dress but hey, whatever it took to fit over my hips and now all the small things will fall in place.</strong>
Posted by krystlelynn212[/QUOTE]

<div>Yaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!! I'm really happy for you!</div><div>
</div><div>OP, I'm sorry you're feeling bad. Like the other posters said, I think the stress we're under right at the end has a lot to do with any disagreements. My F and I have never had a fight but we had a little bit of a disagreement the last couple of nights and I think the biggest thing is the wedding. In fact, it was over wedding stuff. </div><div>
</div><div>If you feel that you are acting like your mom in some way that's bad, I think it's a good thing in itself that you recognize it and are acting upon it. I think one of the best things you can do to grow as a person is to reflect and change any behaviors that are causing problems. It sounds like you're doing that. That's all that you can ask for. </div><div>
</div><div>I'm afraid that I don't have anything to say that might cheer you up, but I will say prayer for you. :-)</div>

mmmendi · September 2012

Jenna, its hard when those kind of statements hit at a core fear. If it really is something you are concerned about struggling with - don't be afraid to find some different options for how you handle anger. It is always okay to have feelings, its a little harder to wisley express! That being said - the others are soooooo right about this just being a stressful time! I also like that Cathy said talk to him again.

This is a weird 'cheer'. I went to the police station today, and signed the citiation. FI accompanied me and he asked if there is still a chance to speak with the parents and see what options are there. The officer after so much effort to talk me out of filing charges, said "The parents obviously don't care. This kid has quite a history of causing trouble" Not exact, but a pretty accurate paraphrase. It was really important to me to stand up for my child, but I also believe strongly in that go-with-my-gut. I'm glad I did, and feel like this really validated my concerns.

Other pick-me-ups include you are three weeks and 2 days from being married! Even through the argument, you are still heading in the same direction - together. Happy Thursday!

nitecheese · September 2012

Thank you for all the kind words of encouragement, ladies. It is nice to know that I'm not the only one who worries about these things. FI and I just talked, and since we both had some time to step back and cool off, it helped a lot. I admitted where I was wrong, as did he. A little perspective a support make a huge difference!

Alisha - Happy birthday to your dad!

Srfr - I'm sorry your day had such a early, unproductive start! Hopefully the afternoon is better.

Mendi - Good for you! I see the ramifications of bullying everyday, and I applaud you for standing up for your son.

All - Thank you for the prayers, kind words, support, commiseration and CATS!

Kitties make everything better.

Lastly, the sun just came out and my headache is subsiding. Today might just shape up to be beautiful.

Ividian · September 2012

I'm glad you guys reconnected and everything's good. FI and I hardly fight and when we do I feel so horrible afterward if we didn't get the 'issue' resolved. Keep smiling!

LoriMc12 · September 2012

Glad your day ended better! It does help to take a breather after an arguement. And cat pictures don't hurt either

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