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May 2012 Weddings
Stop inviting yourselves!... or others!
Just a short vent: Why is it that some family members want to say things like "can we invite ___ family member??" how about my dad said "hey can we invite your great aunt Bessie who you haven't met before, but she gave you that one savings bond, remember?" or random co-workers saying "Looking forward to that invite in the mail!" when it's someone you didn't even think to invite?
I've never invited myself to anyone's wedding or asked to add anyone because of the cost, etc. plus, to me, it's just ettiquette...
this happening to anyone else?
I've never invited myself to anyone's wedding or asked to add anyone because of the cost, etc. plus, to me, it's just ettiquette...
this happening to anyone else?
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Re: Stop inviting yourselves!... or others!
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The first time was while I was at work (at my weekend job) so I was stuck behind the customer service desk and had no place to run to. I was approached by a girl and her husband that I have known since 2009. We started vet tech school together but she decided to not finish since she was pregnant and was due right around the time of our state & national board exams. Anyways, she asked all excitedly if I wanted her address so I could invite her to our wedding. I was so taken back that I just said yes, even though I had no intentions of ever inviting her. I haven't seen her since and I pray that I don't because I have a feeling an awkward conversation would follow.
The second time happened a few weeks ago when one of my BMs asked if her cousin could come to the wedding since she will be doing her hair for the wedding. How does that even make sense?! I didn't ask your cousin to do your hair! I arranged to have a girl come to the hotel to do everyone's hair and you decided not to go that route. I shouldn't have to invite YOUR cousin just because she's doing YOUR hair!
The third time happened at my grandpa's funeral of all places. My dads cousin, who I don't even know in the slightest, approached me and said how excited she is for the wedding in May. Ummmm.... say what?! I didn't even know who I was talking to when she said that so I just laughed awkwardly (like I usually do in these situations) and said that I'm also really excited for the day. I mean, come on, I was at my grandpa's funeral and really emotional so it definitely caught me off guard!!
I've decided to invite only those who I see outside of work, so four (out of 11). She's invinting the whole staff. A number of them (who aren't invited to my wedding) have already said they can't wait for both weddings, and to "compare" them (food, etc)!!! So, I think I'll have to deal with a few annoyed co-workers.
Next was a friend of mine who lives many many states away. She and her husband have 3 kids. She was going to come with our mutual friend who now can not come due to recovering from surgery, so my friend asked if she can bring someone else, if her husband can't come. Because it's such a long trip for her, I said okay... I would rather have her plus one of her friends that I barely know come, than have her miss out! I was a bm in her wedding... we're really close, and it means the world to me that she'll be there.
Then, the other day, another friend asked if she can bring another friend of ours if her bf can't come. This was a good one, though, because the un-invited friend was someone I have recently become better friends with, but when guest lists were made, we weren't all that close yet. So I was very happy to think that she might be able to come anyway
I feel like the last two were pretty unique situations, and so I made exceptions that I probably wouldn't have if things were different.
First was at my dad's funeral in December. His aunt started asking about the wedding and then I got, well i'm looking forward to my invite! I wasn't really planning on inviting her... but I have now, and invited her to the bridal shower...
The second is my Uncle's ex wife.... my aunt. Her and my uncle divorced like 12 years ago. Go back a few more years, I saw her at my grandma's funeral when I was 6, then didn't see her again till my cousin got married when I was 21. That's 15 years. Anyway, after my cousins wedding she added me to Facebook, and has proceeded to make nasty comments about my uncle to me. (she's incredibly bitter about their divorce). She came with my cousins to my dad's funeral in December, and invited herself, or said she'd keep the day open or something like that. Then on facebook a little while after that I got a comment about when she sees me in May. Invites went out in February... hers wasn't in there. Sticking to my guns on that one!
The second instance was a week after my friend had asked. I was on FB and one of my friends asked if he was getting an invite. I politely told him no, we were keeping it small and inviting family only, He is from a culture (Mormon) where they invite everyone (I had been invited to his wedding, but the recpetion only since I am not a Mormon, and I didn't go because it was in Utah). I felt bad, and he asked me where I was registered, but I wouldn't tell him. I didn't want to be gift grabby or anythng, or feel like he had to send me something.
But it does make you wonder where people get the nerve to ask for an invitation to a wedding! Shesh!
I also feel SUPER awkward when my boss (who's invited) brings up the wedding infront of coworkers who aren't invited. I've been trying not to discuss the wedding at work since not everyone's invited but she's making it impossible!
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MARRIED!
my parents wanting to add people... people writing "2 attending" when only ONE was invited.. people asking for invites.. people assuming they are invited... etc etc etc etc... people question why other people werent invited.........it is al so crazy and SO rude to me... i would NEVER do any of that, so I just dont get it. ahhhhh!
i feel your pain.
[QUOTE]Its annoying... this week, <strong>one of FI's family friends asked when the invitations were coming in the mail.</strong> We're sending them out this week, but she's not invited. FI didn't know what do do.. he just said, oh we're sending them soon, and changed the subject :P he was like "what do I say to that?! she'll just find out in a week when she doesn't get one, I guess"... ugh.
Posted by Bett2012[/QUOTE]
<div>This happened to us over the summer at FMIL's birthday party! One of her friends came up to us telling us how excited she was for the wedding! I had no clue who she was! FMIL never gave us her name... she's not invited! </div>
March Siggy Challenge: Furbaby
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So far I've only had one person ask to bring a guest when a guest wasn't invited, SO FAR. Lol, I ended up giving in when a few declines came in. (She has a good excuse, her GF is in the Air Force and will be on leave from Germany at the time of our wedding. If the GF can't come then FI cousin doesn't want to come. I understand not wanting to miss a second of military leave with your SO)
HOWEVER, work is a WHOLE other story. I HATE my boss, for several reasons, and I'm not very close with my other supervisor. (I work at a small business 12 employees total). I only invited 3 people frome work, the 3 I actually see outside of work. It wasn't a jab at anyone I was just way over on my guest limit so I nixed some. My boss and supervisor have no idea they aren't invited yet and I'm dreading when they find out the invite isn't coming.
150 Invited
84 Attending
66 Missing Out
0 Not Replied
130
[QUOTE]I truly believe that these people are about 95% sure that they are not getting an invite to your wedding, but are hoping that by hinting around that they think they are invited that you'll feel bad and invite them. Annoying either way!
Posted by AurorasEnvy[/QUOTE]
Totally agree w/this!