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June 2013 Weddings
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Bridal shower woes

pedulaneypedulaney member
100 Comments First Anniversary
in June 2013 Weddings
I just don't know what to do here girls. My FSIL's have offered to throw me a bridal shower with my sister. Which I graciously accepted. The FSIL's are SO excited for this event. We decided not to have it until the end of March due to travel schedules and school. However, they are always asking me what I want for it and to be honest... I have no freaking clue! The other night they asked me how many people I wanted to invite to it and I had no clue. We have a guest list of about 270 right now which is still in the rough draft stage. One FSIL told me at hers there was about 90 people. she had a wedding of comparable size. I know FI and I both have large families but seriously I don't want this shower to be a parade. Is 90 people normal? I just want to have a fun brunch with the girls, not a put me on display, open a million gifts in front of everyone kind of thing. When I mentioned not inviting some cousins that live out of state FSIL was like NO, you have to! It's the right thing to do. I'm so confused...

How many people are normally at bridal showers?
How can I tell them I don't want a big parade of a shower?
Do I have to invite every woman on my guest list?
Suggestions?

Sorry I'm on tk mobile and it sometimes types funky posts.
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Re: Bridal shower woes

  • sparkles776sparkles776 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    I dont think that there is any set number that is considered normal. I personally think 90 at a shower is a ton of people, but you also have a large wedding, so considering that I think that sounds about right. Our guest list is about 200 people and we are inviting about 50-60 people to the shower. I would just flat out tell them you do not want a huge parage of a shower. Inviting that many people, you will definitely be put on display and open a million gifts. If you would prefer something more intimate with less people, tell them that! I am definitely not inviting every woman on my guest list. A shower is for close friends and family.

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  • SB1512SB1512 member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    The budget of those hosting should dictate the guest list.  So, if your hosts say they can afford 90 guests and you want 90 people there, invite them.  Not every female on the wedding guest list must be invited to the shower.  FMIL has a huge guest list and I've only met about 10 women on it since I've been dating FI.  Therefore, I'm only giving my mom and bridesmaids the names and address of those 10 women from FMIL's side that I know personally.  To me, a shower should be only for those women I actually have met and know and will not be giving every female wedding guest a shower invite.  My shower will probably only have 30 people, and our wedding guest list is around 200, but as i said, most of those invites are on the FIL's side and I have never met them.
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  • crazykatiemaecrazykatiemae member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    Most bridal showers I've been to have been in the 40-50 people range, so 90 seems like a lot. However, you mentioned not inviting out of state cousins. How many of the people on the guest list would be out of state? Thats something to take into consideration as they may not want to drive or fly in for the bridal shower AND the wedding. So you could invite them to the shower, but they may not attend.

    Unfortunately, with a wedding this large a simple brunch with the bridal party and close family might best best the day of your bachelorette party or on a date when you are tyring on bridesmaid dresses, etc. Like Sparkles said, you don't need to invite every woman on your guest list, but if you have a bigger family and a larger group of friends, it might be hard to keep the bridal shower guest list down in general.

    Best of luck!! :)
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  • pedulaneypedulaney member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    I am willing to tell the girls I dont want something huge. However, I don't want to offend them but not inviting family that isn't immediate. For example, second cousins, distant aunts, etc.
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  • nraymond1nraymond1
    10 Comments
    Well my 1st wedding had about 100-150 guests and the shower has about 10 but it was also held 2 1/2 hrs from the wedding site so a lot couldn't come. We did invite them all, though. I know it sounds strange but I felt way more under glass with 10 people than the brides I've seen have 60+, at those people end up chatting during presents and it's less pressure. I'd say invite them, most won't come anyway. But it's also a great way to get more of your shower gifts! 
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  • cadamuscadamus member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    We are inviting only the ladies who are invited to the wedding that are in town. I know that they will not be able to make it in for the shower and the wedding. Also not every one will be able to make it to the shower so even if you invite 90, that many wont come!
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  • ashlidieashlidie member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    I have 170 people on my guest list and 72 on the bridal shower list my MOH asked for. This still excluded a good handful of ladies that are like FIs work friends or my friends wives or something like that where there is a degree of separation. But of those 72 I almost positive some won't show up due to timing (during the semester) and my 4 cousins who are out of state.
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