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Should we invite the ex?

Hi ladies,

Before my FI & I were a thing, I dated a guy for 4 years (2 yrs in HS).
He got married about 4 years ago, we were invited to their wedding.

I didn't put them on our rough draft guest list, but when Chris (FI) read it, he asked if I was going to invite them.

I feel a little awkward doing so, but since they invited us, I feel that's the nice thing to do. We rarely talk, a little on FB. Chris & him are kind of friends. What I am getting at is we are not enemies or anything...

Re: Should we invite the ex?

  • edited December 2011
    Well I don't think you should invite your ex just because he invited you, BUT that being said if you have the room on your guest list and you are friendly you may as well, but I wouldn't bump other family or closer friends just to be polite, expecially if you don't talk that much anymore. Good luck! :)
  • edited December 2011
    Ditto Elle's reply.  If he and FI are kind of friends and you have room and you're on good terms, why not?
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  • edited December 2011
    I guess we should go over the guest list a few more times before we make that decision.
    If we have room, then they can come.

    Thanks!
  • edited December 2011
    If there's something about the way you & your ex interact that you think would make it awkward, then I would keep him off the list. But it sounds like he's in the "we used to be very close but now we don't talk to each other" category of friends. What are you doing with other folks like that?

    Since they're friends, you can always invite them and take it out of your FI's guest count :D).

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  • edited December 2011
    lol, I'm sure we have room for them. It's 2 adults 2 young kids. I don't think they "expect" to be invited. But it'd be a nice gesture...

    We have someone people (acquaintances) that we were considering inviting... But once we add them all up is a HUGE wedding! On a limited budget, that's just not going to work. Plus, I don't think we need to invite everyone & their sister! We want to try to keep it to 100-125 invites.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP. Don't feel pressured to invite somebody who you are loosely connected to. FI and I went over our guest list and removed people not because of numbers, but we realized they were good friends four years ago, and that's the last we have heard from them. We want an intimate wedding where we know everybody.

    It just depends on what you want, this is your wedding!
  • edited December 2011
    Good point... We had a huge guest list, and then we looked at it and thought.. really, why are we inviting all these people we see once every 2 years (friends(ish) not family of course). People that hang out in the same "crowd" at TIMES. It was just getting too expensive and that's a big issue for us. We need to keep it more intimate & private.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with the pp as well. i wouldn't add him because they invited you.. and if you guys are friends, invite him. if he isn't that good of a friend, i would leave him off.
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  • edited December 2011
    Agreed cute those sorta see around people. Those nice gestures are nice to do, but when you do a lot of them it adds up to a lot of money. I don't think he will notice any way. If you have room later on you can always add him again before you do your final invites.
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  • edited December 2011
    Ditto niq. If the interaction is awkward, then I say don't do it. I wouldn't invite someone just because they invited you to their wedding 4 years ago. Is it important to you to share your special day with them? Doesn't seem like it. If there is room, then maybe. But I say don't, since it doesn't appear you guys talk regularly anyway.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_should-invite-ex?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:104Discussion:e186c54d-6078-484d-9c6d-d7a77217db84Post:de0af109-610d-481e-98b2-c18f5727b5d6">Re: Should we invite the ex?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto niq. If the interaction is awkward, then I say don't do it. I wouldn't invite someone just because they invited you to their wedding 4 years ago. Is it important to you to share your special day with them? Doesn't seem like it. If there is room, then maybe. But I say don't, since it doesn't appear you guys talk regularly anyway.
    Posted by cupcakepirate[/QUOTE]

    Good point, I don't feel like I need to spend my special day with them. If there is room, we will invite them.
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