How did you ask your BMs?

belle7fl · July 2012

As some of you may know i have been struggling with my BM situation. Well I have finally decided to go through with it and ask FIs cousin and niece to be BMs also now I get to ask my best friend of 20 years to be in the WP too which makes me really excited and I know it will mean a lot to him. It's my wedding and I think I'd feel guilty later on if I didn't include them.

I don't actually speak to his cousin or niece that often except through texts or Facebook so I'm not sure how to ask. Is texting too impersonal? I'm going dress shopping on he 7th and thought about inviting them and asking them to try on their dresses for the wedding while we're there so it's a surprise. I'm just not sure how else to get them alone since we all have such busy lives and when we do see each other it's always with other family. I don't want to do it in front of other cousins because I don't want any feelings hurt.

Any suggestions?

rmp4996 · July 2012

Could you just calll and invite them over for dinner? That would be a nice way to ask, or surprising them at the dress place seems nice too.

cnf2013 · July 2012

I asked my MOH in person. The rest I just asked over the phone because they all all live quite a few hours from me and I couldn't justify making a million trips around the state to see them all or coordinate all five to get together at once smoothly. I never did anything cute or clever and I'm just as happy with the way I asked.

emilyb213 · July 2012

I asked two of my bridesmaids while we were out wedding dress shopping. I asked one while we were hanging out at a bar (not the ideal setting, but it was the first time I had seen her in about 3 months without any of our other friends around) and the other two I asked at family functions (they're my sisters). I asked my maid of honor via the instant messaging system we use at the company we work for. She's my best friend and we had already talked about being each other's maids of honor, so it was really more of a formality.

I think you're fine with asking them while you're dress shopping, but from what I wrote above, I'm not the type of person who would do some clever, creative thing to ask my girls, so you should probably take my advice with a grain of salt, haha.

kellyeliz · July 2012

I asked most of mine in person because they are family. My best friend I asked over the phone. Then once I knew they were going to be in the wedding party I made them Be My MOH or Be My B-Maid Boxes. I painted them and included information like when the wedding is, the type of dress I am looking for them to wear, websites for them to look at dresses, contact information for each of them, colors, etc.

n3rdl3t · July 2012

I asked my sister in person (before I got engaged oops!) if she would be my MOH when the time comes.. I ended up sending both her and my BM a card from carduniverse.com asking them. They both called once they got the card and said it made them cry and ofc the answer is yes

anastassiiat · July 2012

I've only asked my MOH so far and I've asked her in person. The other girls I'll ask in person or by phone. I think the dress idea is cute, so if you think it'd work definitely go for it! But I also think there is nothing wrong with a phone call, especially if you girls don't really hang out that much.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

I'm pretty sure that I asked everyone in person. Though the phone isn't a bad choice either.

blferguson1s · July 2012

I asked my MOH the night I got engaged. She's FI's sister, and I was visiting for New Year's. She was at a party, and I told her he had proposed as soon as she got home. She came running in (a little drunk) and jumped on the bed all giggly. She asked something about my dress, and I told her I was hoping my maid of honor could help me with that. We reminded her the next morning just in case she didn't remember.

My other two BM's are fraternity brothers. One of them was asking me about the wedding, and I pretty well told her she was going to be in it. haha Oops. A few days later, we were in her dorm room with the other BM who asked if we could go dress shopping. I said we should make it a BM trip and go. She smiled all silly, and I asked her. They're both really excited, and I can't wait to get back to school to wedding plan with them.

bananas1309 · July 2012

Well, my MOH was asked the night we got engaged because she's my only sister and it was just assumed... haha.

The rest of them I asked in person throughout the last year. =]

ashbeth06 · July 2012

I found a cute candy saying and borrowed it for my bridesmaids. I made a card for my MOH and gave it to her in person asking will you be my maid of honor? My favorite thing was her reaction "She just proposed to me!". Lol. I made a card and mailed it to my personal attendant. She is busy traveling for work a lot and I hadn't made a decision the last time I saw her.

krazyblush · July 2012

All but one of my BMs live out of state and I wasn't going to see most of them for awhile, so I printed up cute "Will You Be My Bridesmaid" cards from Zazzle and mailed them to each girl. They all really liked the surprise of the getting the card and most of them called right away to say yes. If you don't want to wait to do it in person, I think the cards are the way to go. At least in my opinion. :-)

LouD042109 · July 2012

My MOH is my best friend so I got her a card and wrote about how much she meant to me inside of the card. I told her why I wanted her to be my MOH. I can't do it without her. Then, I asked her if she would be my MOH. I put the card in the envelope and stuck it in her mailbox. I wanted it to be more of a surprise.

I texted my other two BMs. They are my college roommates so, now, for the summer they live hours away. It is hard to find one time where everyone is available to meet up. I didn't call because I am not real sure of their schedule while they are in their hometown. I told them in a text that they were great friends to me and then I asked if they would be my BM.

I put more effort into asking my MOH.

belle7fl · July 2012

Thanks for all the cute ideas. Maybe I can send them cards through Facebook since I know they check that. Or I could always just call. I just wasn't sure if that was a proper way to do it since I don't see them much and they are on opposites sides of his family and live on opposite sides of the state with me kinda in the middle even though I'm in CT and they are in RI.

iloveu4ever · July 2012

I just asked in person. My moh is my best friend. My other 2 bm are my fi friend.

katiereith · July 2012

I asked my MOH in person. The other 3 I either had to text or use Facebook messaging. At the time the other 3 bm's were not easily reachable. One was in South Korea studying abroad, one was on a boat somewhere she's in the navy. The last one is almost impossible to get ahold of since she has a crazy crazy job schedule.

How did you ask your BMs?

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