Catholic Church

fortunes_fool_21 · January 2010

My fiance and I are getting married in October. We initially ruled out a church wedding, but after going to my sisters wedding in November, we are sort of reconsidering.

Only issue is, my fiancée is not confirmed. He was baptized, had his first communion and reconciliation however is not confirmed.

Will this be an issue? I have called the church directly and let them know we want to become parishioners (I recently moved in with him and it would be a new church for me), and want to register to get married there. I explained the situation to the church secretary, and she said she didnt think it would be an issue, but she wasnt 100% sure and we wouldnt know for sure if we could do it till our date was booked and we talked to a priest.

Im just wondering if anyone else has been in the same position. We probably would forgo a church wedding if he had to go through the confirmation process.

Also, for those who have had a Catholic ceremony, how much did it cost you?

Thanks!

kthame · January 2010

Hello,

All of the priests we have met with have asked if we were confirmed; we have to provide a copy of the Baptismal certificate, but don't have to provide any sort of proof we were confirmed. Ironically, the priest marrying us knows I'm confirmed, because he confirmed me.

If you want to have a mass, I think it would make a difference (not 100% certain however) but I can't see how just having a ceremony-only would prohibit you from having a catholic one. We're only having a ceremony for our wedding.

Good Luck!

seventiespop · January 2010

My fiance is neither Catholic nor baptized and we are getting married in a Catholic church in July (St. Vincent de Paul) although it will not be a full mass. I had to supply my baptism and confirmation certificates and our Priest says there is one extra step that needs to be done since my fiance is not baptized but that it is easy (I think it has to do with the church getting permission to conduct an interfaith marriage and me signing a document promising to raise our kids Catholic).
We meet with him this Saturday to figure out the details. However, our situtation might be different since they are considering our marriage interfaith.

seventiespop · January 2010

Forgot to answer your last question. The church requires a $500 donation (I'm a parishoner so that might be a different price for non-members) and we'll find out if there are any other fees this Saturday (i.e. musicians). Also, the Archdiocese of Chicago charges $190 for Pre-Cana, which is required, from my understanding.

kthame · January 2010

Oh...I forgot to answer that ? too...it's a $275 donation.

sgylling · January 2010

We are getting married at St. Clement in Lincoln Park. FI is Catholic, baptised, not confirmed and I am Lutheran. We can even have a Mass if we would like. We are just having a ceremony though. I think there is going to be something like the PP mentioned, an extra step because we are interfaith, but we are meeting with our Priest this month so I don't know yet.

It is a $900 donation and that included Pre-Cana that our Church conducts, not the Archdiocese one. The only requirement our Church had was we had to be members before checking a wedding date. (you can register online). I really like the Church a lot, they are much more "open" I would say as a Catholic Church, which I appreciate.

morgie44 · January 2010

We got married at St. Pat's in Joliet. My DH was baptized Catholic and had first communion but not confirmed, I was baptised, but not by the Catholic church. We did not have a problem. I think it depends on the parish and the priest. Some are more conservative, some more liberal. According to the official Catholic constitution, the only real requirement is that one person have begun the process of being baptized, though each church seems to make up there own rules, carrying over from the old constitution.

u_rica77 · January 2010

sgylling- I'm sort of relieved to hear someone else is paying around the same that we are. My FI and I are getting married at St. Josaphat's in LP and our fee is $850 which includes the Pre-Cana. My mom has commented several times that this is the most expensive church fee she's ever heard of, and I keep telling her that I'm sure this is not ridiculous compared to the other churches in the area. Glad I have some info to back that statement up

. BTW- I've always wanted to go to mass at St. Clement- the pics I've seen of the church are so gorgeous!

sgylling · January 2010

Hi u_rica77! We looked at St. Josephat too, I think we just got the info on St. Clement first so we went there, I can't remember! There are some churches in the city I have heard are $2000! While I think $900 is pricey, I know it isn't the worst out there:)

I know when I looked too at possibly doing the ceremony at a reception site, it would have been just as much. For them to set up chairs, etc. Oh well! St. Josephat is gorgeous as well, it will be a good spot!

[Deleted User] · January 2010

I think each church has their own rules for what sacraments each person has to have completed. We are getting married at Assumption Church downtown and I believe you can marry a non-catholic there (just do the liturgy not the mass). If you have been baptized then they will do the mass.

I think churches in the city tend to be more expensive than the burbs. Assumption is $700 plus tip to the priest.

ewenner · January 2010

Hello! My fiance and I are getting married in a Catholic church here in the city - I am Catholic, but not confirmed, and FI is Presbyterian (sp?) Our priest said that the church "encourages" people to get confirmed, but it is not required.

As for cost, ours will be $750 for the church and $250 for the organist. Then, as pp said, there is the cost of Pre-Cana, which is about $200, and is required by the Archdiocese.

I think that each parish will be slightly different, but I have found the Chicago Archdiocese to be much more flexible and open-minded than I would have guessed. It's been a pleasant experience so far. Good luck!

fortunes_fool_21 · January 2010

Wow thanks everyone for all the feedback.

I am relieved that it may not be an issue that he is not confirmed.

Honestly though, I am pretty surprised by the prices some of these churches are charging!

My sister got married in November here in the SW burbs and I think she paid $600 which included the Pre Cana class. I would for sure not do it if it was close to $1000!

Thanks for all the great feed back though :-) Its much appriciated.

jessicalumbard · January 2010

hi there - just wanted to put this thought out there -

It definitely depends on each priest/church, but I know that many churches will not marry you if you live together...you and your FI might want to talk about if you are going to disclose that info or not!

Just wanted to give you a heads up

GL!

mrs.rab · January 2010

FI and I are going through this right now actually. We are calling to set up an appt. with his church.

And I agree on the prices they are completely redic. I don't understand how they can charge money for a wedding....you know what I mean?! And you have to tip the priest?! Do you know around how much they get?

Cocnut0216 · November 2010

I am running into several problems with trying to make all of the ends of our ceremony meet. My fiance and I quite possibly have the most difficult situation for planning a religious ceremony.

I am baptized/confirmed Catholic

He is baptized Lutheran

We are getting married on a Sunday

We are from out of town (I'm a member of my local parish in Wisconsin) and chose Chicago b/c my extended family lives here and his has to come in from New York.
For any other brides looking to get hitched on a Sunday: BE WARNED. It is Canon Law that no Catholic Church may perform a full Catholic wedding (read as mass) on a Sunday. This is not just the Arch Dioscese of Chicago. Not only that but, there must be written permission from the Arch Dioscese for any ordained priest to perform the mass (or even a blessing).

We are now looking into having the ceremony at a Unitarian Church with a family friend (a Deacon) to perform the blessing, but not have the full mass. I'll post if this works out.

Has anyone else run into something similar to this?

Unfortunately, Sunday is our only option for the ceremony and reception because of how long it will take his family to get here.

lkeefner · November 2010

I am a confirmed Catholic and my FI is only a baptized Catholic. We are getting married at our church but we can only have a ceremony becasue he isn't confirmed.
The fee at my church is $250 (plus extras for musicains, officiant, alter servers and wedding coordinator). We will also be paying for Pre-Cana which is an additional $190.
Don't worry about living together, the church does not forbid you from getting married if you are "cohabitating" (as they put it). You will have to take a separate Prepare questionaire because of it as well as going to Special Pre-Cana instead of a regular Pre-Cana.

My FI and I are pretty much in the same position as you and we had no problem planning our wedding in our Catholic church.

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