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Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth

Possible Bridezilla?? WWYS

I got this email from a friend...
Sooooo guess what? I've been thinking about the wedding :-) and I'd like to have dances and speeches for the reception sooo I wanted to start the ball rolling ...you guys are the ones for sure that I know are coming so I wanted to see what your ideas are ...I'd like at least 5 dances depending on the length and all ...and at least 5 speeches ...again depending on the length!! Lol. Anyways I'm thinking of at least one dance composed of all girls and one of all guys...music ranging from Bhangra to bollywood ...solos are also welcomed and also whatever ideas u have are strongly encouraged ...but I want everything in sync!!!! Which is why I'm letting u guys have plenty of time...I guess u guys may have a fitness center membership so those have nice rooms with mirrors if not, there is a place I know near my house called blue cypress and I have seen that they have space to practice and I can let them
Know ahead of time to reserve a space and of course ask permission :-p

I have some ideas for songs/dances but I'd love to have a meeting with those who are in the dfw area to share ideas :-) let me
Know the next time u all are free to meet for 1-2 hours :-)
THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU xoxoxoxoxox

Since she started dating her FI (they got engaged after 3 months) we haven't spent too much time together. I would like to help, but I'm worried about the time committment she thinks we should give her. Her wedding is a month before mine. What would you say without sounding like a B?

Re: Possible Bridezilla?? WWYS

  • edited December 2011
    I would just decide how much time you are willing to commit to this (eg, none, an hour total, an hour a week, etc.) and how much energy you are willing to commit to it (e.g., learn a dance, learn three dances, choreograph a dance, no choreographing, etc.).  Then ask her how much time she thinks the commitment will be and what her expectations are, and then let her know clearly from the beginning how much time/energy you are able/willing to commit.
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  • angieandjamesangieandjames member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    WOW.  I think N&M's suggestion is about the nicest way you can go, but she sounds a bit crazy!
  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_possible-bridezilla-wwys?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:64c91733-4e8d-4b63-a7dd-12fbe084ea72Post:d01ccc1f-bff5-4477-bb28-aad19ca182ea">Re: Possible Bridezilla?? WWYS</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would just decide how much time you are willing to commit to this (eg, none, an hour total, an hour a week, etc.) and how much energy you are willing to commit to it (e.g., learn a dance, learn three dances, choreograph a dance, no choreographing, etc.).  Then ask her how much time she thinks the commitment will be and what her expectations are, and then let her know clearly from the beginning how much time/energy you are able/willing to commit.
    Posted by nickandmerritt[/QUOTE]

    I think this advice is perfect!
  • edited December 2011
    Hmm tough one... are you in her bridal party?   I think if it were me I would probably just be quiet and wait... if someone else wants to take the lead on it then let them.   Then just show up and learn the dance once they have worked out all the details.

    Random addition...but I have heard of one wedding where the BP did several choreographed dances and the guests hated it because it took forever and they couldn't participate because they didn't know the dance.  Maybe you could discourage her from quite SO much?  :)
  • ssarangissarangi member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Woww! That's a very assuming request!  

     I second what Tiffany asked and suggested, are you in her bridal party?  I know that dances do take up a lot of time.  Also, 5 dances seem like a lot.  I can foresee having one girls dance, one guys dance (the groom should be getting his guys to do this if they want), and then maybe one girl/guys.  But 5??  Yes, definitely wait and see if anyone else responds...
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  • bigbabyfacebigbabyface member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i'm with N&M and Tiff on this one. That seems like ALOT, and I think after the first or second choreographed dance i would become annoyed as a guest...
  • edited December 2011
    N&M that's perfect... I'll have to think about what's going on and what I can even handle.

    Tiffany she's Hindu which means no BMs. They don't do the normal things we do in weddings. Dances are common in Indian weddings. I'm having a couple myself from my famiily and his family. They volunteered though!! I didn't ask them!
  • sarathirzasarathirza member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_possible-bridezilla-wwys?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:64c91733-4e8d-4b63-a7dd-12fbe084ea72Post:d01ccc1f-bff5-4477-bb28-aad19ca182ea">Re: Possible Bridezilla?? WWYS</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would just decide how much time you are willing to commit to this (eg, none, an hour total, an hour a week, etc.) and how much energy you are willing to commit to it (e.g., learn a dance, learn three dances, choreograph a dance, no choreographing, etc.).  Then ask her how much time she thinks the commitment will be and what her expectations are, and then let her know clearly from the beginning how much time/energy you are able/willing to commit.
    Posted by nickandmerritt[/QUOTE]

    <div>Agree that this is your best option - and maybe even give her a smaller estimate of time/energy than you think you'll have?  Maybe its just my family/friends, but it seems when I say I have an hour, they take 2 :)</div>
  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I think the whole idea sounds crazy and there is no way I would even consider such a thing a month before my own wedding.  She expects you to commit to up to 2 hours for just the first meeting--how much do you think she'll expect you to commit to for the actual event itself?

    But to answer your actual question, I think I would say something to the effect of you don't think you'll be able to commit to something like this so close to your own wedding.
  • edited December 2011
    Ah okay... I understand. 

    I'd still let the others do the organizing and planning and then swoop in and learn any dance that you need to after they've already hammered out the details.
  • juliebug1997juliebug1997 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with everyone else but especially with Stephie.  I was a crazy person a month before my wedding.  There is no way I could have done any of that and still worked and slept and finish planning my own wedding. 
  • edited December 2011
    I'm with Stephie on this one.  I was also crazy busy before our wedding.  Every evening I had something to do for OUR wedding.  There is no way I would have time to do something this time consuming for someone else's wedding.
  • edited December 2011
    You guys are right! I thought I could use it as a workout thing too! Indian dances are a work out, but I looked at my schedule and it's too much. Maybe I'll do a speech since I know the bride and the groom. I'll leave it at that.
  • teamdynamiteteamdynamite member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am personally a huge fan of musicals and used to wish life was really like that - singing and dancing with everyone knowing exactly what was going to happen. Reality set it - and that's just not the way things work. While it is fun to see in Disney movies, on Glee or even the bit from "Enchanted", it's all rehearsed to a "T"! I agree with PP that it is a bit much. My brother and his wife had a fun, choreographed first dance - but it was just the two of them. SIL told the WP what part of the song to join them on the dance floor and we all "free-styled". I am so glad to hear I'm not the only "crazy" that considered the idea though :) But I am more pleased with myself that I came to the sense of it just not being realistic. HTH
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