The shower...not supposed to be fun for the bride?

jnothnagle · April 2012

So from all the etiquette I have read the bride should just lets the host, host. And really does not get a say in the shower? Is this right? I don't want to go to my own shower. It sounds lame. Why can't we throw our own again? Time's a' changin' right?

I wanted a couples shower...the answer I get...the guys won't want to come. (The guys I wanted were my fiance, brother, and dad.)
My friends have kids...well no kids allowed.
I thought I should invite the grooms family even though they live out of state...just as a matter of good will. - Its too many people, the groom's side will throw their own shower.

So I have 3 friends, my mom and 2 sisters...

Is this normal?? Am I being Bridezilla? Sorry needed to vent to strangers!

Lizzieyounce · April 2012

You shouldn't host your own shower. If the host askes for ideas, then fine, but the most you should do is provide names and addresses to ensure that people who aren't invited to the wedding aren't invited to the shower. Having guests at the shower who aren't invited to the wedding is poor form.

A shower is a gift to the bride. Not an obligation. Throwing your own could be seen as gift grabby.

Wzz · April 2012

what is the question, really?

yeah, it's bad manners to throw your own shower. the shower itself is a gift. if you want a couple's shower, you can let the host know, but they aren;t obligated to do this. they really can just throw whatever kind of party for you that they want to throw. traditionally it's all women, so most people are used to this. if they ask you for a guest list, you can give them one with the men and woomen's names on it, but they may not even ask.

i don't know what you're asking when you mention the grooms family. did someone on the groom's side say they are hosting a shower with his side? did the host of your shower say they aren't inviting the grooom's side?

sorry, i don't know what exactly is going on there, but technically any shower you get is a gift and you should just try to enjoy it. if whoever is hosting is really making you miserable, let them know thanks but no thanks, no need for a shower at all. sure it's bad taste to turn down the party, but if they are making your life miserable it's really not doing oyu any good.

Wzz · April 2012

ok i re-read it.

well, just enjoy the small shower. if they can't afford to host more than the 8 people attending, then they can't afford it.

in the end, it is a gift. not an obligation. it's kind of messed up that they won't invite your future MIL, but it is what it is.

tawillers · April 2012

Are showers really supposed to be off the hook? It's just a gathering of people who bring you gifts and are asked to play games before they eat cake and drink punch. Just be thankful someone wants to throw you a shower.

If you want to tear the club up, save it for your bachelorette party.

skippylouwho · April 2012

I think it's rude if the women who are immediate family of the groom aren't invited to all showers. Not the bachelorette party but the showers and any brunches, etc.

ReturnOfKuus · April 2012

As far as I can tell, bridal showers aren't supposed to be fun for anyone.

peekaboo2011 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_the-showernot-supposed-to-be-fun-for-the-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:3afaae19-8ebf-466b-85bd-0e018c7cd24cPost:bcf8e73a-1563-4c86-9a19-f8adfa44d751">Re: The shower...not supposed to be fun for the bride?</a>:
[QUOTE]As far as I can tell, bridal showers aren't supposed to be fun for anyone.
Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]

Unless you're 12 years old. Then you can have fun annoying all of the adults.

The shower...not supposed to be fun for the bride?

Re: The shower...not supposed to be fun for the bride?

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