So, our venue has put a strict limit on the amount of guests we are permitted to have at the wedding and reception (same venue for both) which greatly influenced the guest list as we were making it. We have a ton of family between the two of us, and this is a destination wedding (5 hours in the car for his, 8 for mine) and we wanted to make sure that the people we are inviting are our nearest and dearest. When inviting friends, I asked around to make sure no one would be offended that they wouldn't be able to bring a plus one (as my mom pointed out, a date we've never met would mean taking the place of someone special to us who we weren't able to include on our guest list). It isn't a matter of money, but of space and what we have been locked into contractually.
Anyway, I am getting back RSVPs with "and guest" written in when the envelope was specifically addressed to one person. I am trying to deal with these on a case-by-case basis (married couples get priority, where we can make it work) but I made a clear decision that when it came to our friends and sorority sisters our age that the rule would be no dates. There are enough people who are close friends with each other attending that no one would be bored or left our and frankly, I was having nightmares over the potential "Why is her boyfriend more important than mine? I thought you said no dates at all! Why does she have one? They aren't married or anything!!" or "We just got engaged and I know that you said no dates..." If the rule is across the board with these groups, I feel like that keeps everything fair. I love them all and do not want anyone resenting anyone because a certain type of date took priority over another - so no dates for anyone. Does that make sense? Am I a horrible friend? Again, the venue set the limit and there is nothing I can do there. Thank you so much!!