Cash Bar

Goldlie11 · April 2010

I'm just curious. A lot of the girls on the national boards (Budget, Reception, Etiquette) say that a cash bar is okay. I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar. So, what are your thoughts on cash bar?

vbates1 · April 2010

the only cash bar weddings i have been to are not in this area. i feel like its something just not done in ny, but seems pretty common in other places....

adamnkel · April 2010

I agree with previous post. That I have been to weddings with cash bars outside of NY and it is the norm in those areas. However i also think the gifts in those areas are usually a lot less.

MrsKocal · April 2010

I have only been to one cash bar, and it was in California. I went to the bar, ordered two drinks for me and hubby, and the guy said "that will be $10". I almost passed out - I don't even bring my wallet to weddings, because I don't expect to spend any money! My money is in the envelope of cash I gave the bride and grooom!

I had to go ask my FIL for cash to pay for the drinks because between my husband and me, neither of us had our wallets or any money (we were staying int he hotel where the wedding was, so we thought we didn't need it).

I was pissed and did not have a fun time at the at wedding (partly because I thought it was rude, and partly because I couldn't keep asking my FIL for money to get me drunk). This wedding also had ONE table of cheese and crackers for "cocktail hour" for 300 guests....don't even get me started on non-NY weddings.....

All I can think about is what David Tuttera would say about a cash bar - I think he would die.

sjnsjnsjn · April 2010

Don't do it. Seriously. Just serve wine and/or beer if an open bar isn't going to work (or do a limited bar). No one demands a full open bar at a wedding. I've been to plenty that are a few options or wine & beer. Cash bar, though, is a no-go.

Nova726 · April 2010

I think it's a regional thing, that it's okay in certain areas. It is not really acceptable in the NYC area though. I agree with the pp though with the other suggestions of wine & beer, or a limited bar.

Goldlie11 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-new-york-city_cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:114Discussion:f467440f-3bd7-4062-ab68-afac0b50a259Post:b06371b6-3a2e-40b6-a2b0-791fdf03abd6">Re: Cash Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't do it. Seriously. Just serve wine and/or beer if an open bar isn't going to work (or do a limited bar). No one demands a full open bar at a wedding. I've been to plenty that are a few options or wine & beer. Cash bar, though, is a no-go.
Posted by sjnsjnsjn[/QUOTE]
I have no intention of having a cash bar at my wedding. I think they are horribly rude. I was just curious since so many people on other boards defend them so passionately.

sjnsjnsjn · April 2010

Oh, gotcha... Thought you were considering one. Cheers.

slbriz34 · April 2010

I would call it rude, per se, but it lacks social graces. Who would think to bring cash to a wedding? Folks expect that all the food and beverages are covered by the host. If a full bar is too much, then the best option is to limit it for just the cocktail hour, and then limited use during the reception. Otherwise, go the less expensive route by doing simply beer and wine and soft drinks....

But I wouldn't pay and I'd have a poor reflection of the couple/host if I had to pay for drinks...

stapletond · April 2010

I've been to 2 cash bar weddings, both in upstate NY. I personally think they are tacky...people are your guests and you are asking them to pay for drinks? Heck no! I'd rather cut the invite list than make my guests pay for their drinks.

MrsKocal · April 2010

I don't understand why it's acceptable in any region, really - would you invite people over to your house for a bbq and ask them to pay for each beer they drink?! Why is a wedding any different.

i have been to weddings that had wine, beer and a "signature cocktail" - these were all out of state weddings too, but at least they didn't ask me to pay for anything. Even that, though, in NY would be considered rude. Guests at NYC weddings expect a full open bar, period, IMO.

LaurelMcGovern · May 2010

Gross. Don't do it. If you can't afford booze just do beer and wine.

slimice · May 2010

I been to a cash bar in bronx, however the guest had to pay for top shelf drinks and price was $1 or $2. Personally I believe don't do it.

yaayet · June 2010

I agree that it's rude but also it all depends what type of a wedding it is;-) If you are doing a casual pub wedding knock yourself out bc people will not be expecting muxh anyways..
But any other is just plain rude, most of the time people doesn't carry cash ( you would be surprised how many people cant even tip) and especially women we don;t really tend to carry our wallet around with a tiny clutch ( just few bills and thats about it). So that would put people with no cash and people who have money on them into bad spot bc someone is always buying and someone needs to keep saying thank you and feeling bad about it over and over again.. It's like inviting people over to your house and charge them plate fee and fee for drinks;-)

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