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Wedding Party

Attendant argument - already!

Although he hasn't formally asked the question (due to the fact that he lives in another country), I consider us engaged. We are talking about a budget for the wedding, looking into the legal mumbo jumbo to get him over here, and all of that fun stuff. One thing that came up in conversation was about our attendants. I do not have very many friends, and my absolute best friend is a gay guy. My fiancée doesn't know him very well, and doesn't really have anything against homosexuals, but he got very angry when I said that I wanted him to be my  "Man of Honor". My friend is really weird, but he's got a heart of gold, so my fiancée doesn't like the idea of him being in the wedding party. He said that he'd rather have my friend be one of his groomsmen than be my Honor Attendant, but it would really mean a lot to me to have him standing next to ME while I take my vows. 
Also, my mom is against the choice ONLY because she firmly believes I should pick my sister as my Maid of Honor. I've already told her that I value her advice and her opinion, and I really want her help with the wedding, but since we're paying and it's my wedding, that I'm going to do things my way. I feel that the only other person that should have any actual sway in wedding matters is my fiancée, however he seems adamant against me having my friend as my Man of Honor. How do I handle this? I don't want to "put my foot down" so to speak, but this really means a lot to me.

Re: Attendant argument - already!

  • 1.  Don't worry about this until you are actually engaged.  

    2.  Don't pick/ask/decide on anyone until you have less than a year to go before the wedding.

    3.  Your family doesn't get veto power over your MOH.  Neither does your FI.

    4.  If your "FI" is that angry about you having a "man of honor" you need to have a serious talk about the relationship.  Something as simple and personal as who stands on your side shouldn't blow out of control like this.
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  • I second brooke's reply. SHe is wise.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_attendant-argument-already?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:58777d01-e985-4cd9-bda5-2a8919166a79Post:b4296e21-4287-45a4-b472-6b32936ef0c8">Re: Attendant argument - already!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I second brooke's reply. SHe is wise.
    Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

    This






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Brooke said it all, especially with point number 4.  If FI tried to tell me who was or wasn't going to be in my wedding party (or if I tried to tell him, for that matter), there would be some SERIOUS words.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_attendant-argument-already?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:58777d01-e985-4cd9-bda5-2a8919166a79Post:3015f44d-41b5-49f1-808a-fc12585e8050">Re: Attendant argument - already!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Brooke said it all, especially with point number 4.  If FI tried to tell me who was or wasn't going to be in my wedding party (or if I tried to tell him, for that matter), there would be some SERIOUS words.
    Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]


    This!
  • First of all, you have a fiance, not a fiancee. 

    Second:  Read Brooke's reply.  Then read it again.  Then listen to what she says.  Because she's right.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • I swear I didn't pay them all off to say that.
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • P.S. Mr. Franklin is happy in his new home. Money mouth
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  • Plus, why is you fiance is so opposed?

    It makes sense that your mom is? She wants your sister to be. Okay. But, why your fiance?

    Plus, you could have your sister as MOH and your BFF as an attendant or vice versa or just have them both and nix the titles.

    But, beyond questioning your FI's motives, I second (more like hundredth) Brooke.
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