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How to Tell Guests About Babysitter

NicoleMRobertsonNicoleMRobertson member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
This might sound terrible but I am personally not a huge fan of children at weddings. That being said my FI and I have discussed potentially hiring a couple babysitter to watch the guests children at our house while their parents are at the ceremony/reception location. We would really like it if everyone with kids would take advantage of this free service. We have not sent STD's out oo invitations yet so I was wondering how you would word something on one or both of those about the babysitter that is provided. Do you put something on the RSVP card? We would like to know how many kids are actually going to be there so we can figure out how many babysitters we will actually end up needing.
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Re: How to Tell Guests About Babysitter

  • pokepoke27pokepoke27 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    First of all - make sure that you do not put anywhere on your stationery that children are not invited. Address the STD and invitation to the parents only and they will get the idea. It is very rude to point out who is NOT invited to an event. 

    Many parents would not be comfortable leaving their children with a stranger at someone else's house. Be prepared for people to decline using your babysitter. 

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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm worried that you are making this harder than it has to be.  I certainly think it's very generous for you to offer a babysitter at your home, but it's going to cause logistical issues that are not necessary.  Many parents will feel uncomfortable leaving their children with babysitters they do not know.  Some parents will feel uncomfortable with teenager babysitters vs. professional ones.  You're going to have to clean up your house before and after those kids run all over it.  How are you going to spread word to the parents and make it worth it to your expense?  I wouldn't want to deal with any of that.

    Address your STDs to those invited.  Let the parents work out their own childcare - they should have experience with that by now.  If you find that some people are declining because they don't have anyone to watch their children, then offer in personal communications to host a babysitter at your home and work with them on finding an answer that is suitable for them.  That's my best advice here.

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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Could you work it out to have a babysitter at a neutral territory if your home isn't easily on the route for the parents?   I think you're doing a great thing but I also think that your home will be potentially destroyed if you're not child-proofed.

    Address STDs to those invited.  If you want to offer babysitting services add a FAQ section to your wedding website and link to it on the STD.

    -"For guests with children, we will be providing babysitting services"
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited September 2012
    I agree with the other PP.  

     In theory it sounds like a good plan, but I in reality people will not want to use a babysitter they don't know.  Especially at a location away from the venue.

    I think you heart is in the right spot, I just don't think the plan is going to work.  I only had my nieces/nephews at my OOT wedding.  All of my guests with young kids found their own babysitters.  It didn't stop any of them from coming to the wedding.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • baird32baird32
    10 Comments
    As a mother myself, my children do not stay with anyone I don't know. There is only a selected few that I would leave to care for my girls if needed. Most parents I know are the same way. Just include the parents names on the std's and invites. When they rsvp for their kids, just call them and let them know it was just meant for them. Most parents see it as a date night anyways so I don't think you'll have to many trying to rsvp for their kids. My fiance and I put the word out there and we only had maybe a couple of people call and ask if kids could come.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    My aunt kind of went through what you're dealing with. At her wedding, the kids were seated with their parents during the ceremony and dinner. Once the dancing got started a children's table was placed in the midst of the other tables. She hired two professional sitters (their information was posted on the website for the parents) to keep the kids entertained with coloring books, puzzles, etc. and the parents were able to keep an eye on their children without worrying. 
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  • theelusive1theelusive1
    100 Comments

    We have offered a sitter or sitters at the reception and wedding.  This is for our OOT guests. We have the church hall and the reception has cabins. We have contacted our OOT guests by email. They know I would not put their children with a person I just hired and did no know.  We have both a teenager 17 and her mother who we have been friendly with for a few years. No they are not wedding guests as we know them from other groups we belong to, 4H, swim team, homeschool etc. We have watched kids for other families together. They would be paid by us.  Most of the OOT guests are coming in a few days early and we plan to have them meet the sitter before the day of.  I think it is a great offer. Kids are invited to the wedding in our case. But after a week of traveling with kids every parent needs a few minutes without. 

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  • AjulianaAjuliana member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    A few weeks ago, I attended a wedding as a babysitter for a 3 month old, and two other adult women (we are in our mid twenties) watched five other small children at a hotel, all paid by the bride's parents.  Nobody had a problem with it, and it seemed to work out well enough.

    Except for the four year old that pooped his pants and didn't tell his babysitters.  I heard that was pretty rough.
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Just address the invitations to the adults.  Include the information on your wedding website that you will provide certified babysitters  at your home should anyone want to take advantage of it and to e-mail or call you before X date to make arrangements or with questions as you will need a head count of children to make sure there is proper supervision.  I doubt you'll have many people take you up on it though.  We invited a handful of couples who have children - they all made their own child care arrangements without involving us or asking about their kids coming to the wedding.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-to-tell-guests-about-babysitter?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:86c00f96-8bac-4fd9-8410-5f9c52e50b91Post:5d6c61de-7b74-4cdf-a291-4df4870e1c78">Re:How to Tell Guests About Babysitter</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you don't want children, don't invite them. That's perfectly fine. But I wouldn't expect people to leave their kids with a stranger. Just invite the parents and let them handle child care themselves.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    This. A lot of parents wouldn't feel comfortable leaving their kids with a stranger at a location away from the wedding. We had a babysitter at our wedding, but it was just an option for guests. We had a kids room with TV and games just in case the kids wanted to hang out together. BUt we were also totally fine with them being with their parents.
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  • nafallonnafallon member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    Most of the guests at my daughter's wedding were from out of town, so we has a "Children's Reception" for the children who were under 10 years old.  We made up a flyer that we put in with the invitations and there was a sheet for the parents to fill in with names, ages, allergies, what kind of pizza the child wanted, contact information and who was allowed to pick them up after the reception.  The reception was at a state park and we held the "Children's Reception" in the cabin the bridesmaids were using.  We were lucky in that I work for a school system and one of the preschool teachers and a girl doing her student teaching were our babysitters.  It was a big hit, in fact more kids were there than had sent in RSVPs.  We had the separate reception because of space limitations at our venue, not because we didn't want children at the reception....they did come to the wedding.
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  • smartlyprettysmartlypretty member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    Is there a smaller side room at the venue that you could use? I think parents would feel a lot better about this if their kids were also at the venue. You could do pizza, movies, and games for the kids. 
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