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Can I pay for their dresses as their gift?

petite+engineerpetite+engineer member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
I'm thinking of paying for the bridesmaid dresses as the bridemaid present. I know I'm not supposed to give a gift that they would wear in the wedding, but I think they would appreciate it. Is this acceptable?
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Re: Can I pay for their dresses as their gift?

  • LittleMissCutiePieLittleMissCutiePie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, as nice as it is of you to pay for their dresses, I doubt they would feel like it was a gift. If you're having trouble finding a good gift, just lurk around here a bit more. You'll get some great ideas!

    ETA: Gifts for BMs should be something they can wear again or look back on with fond memories. I doubt these gals will wear these dresses again like a party dress.
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  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Paying for a dress you are making them wear is not a gift. It's a nice idea and you can still do it if you have the funds, but don't make it their gift. Find something non-wedding related that they will truly appreciate. 
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto PP's. Most likely they will not wear the dress again, so it isn't really a gift for them. it's nice if you can afford to pay for it, but not necessary. I'd rather pay for my BM dress and get a gift that is tailored to me and my likes. Just make sure if you go that route to get their budget ahead of time.


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  • casims3casims3 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Although I agree with PPs, I think some BMs would rather have you pay for their dress than have a gift. If I was tight on money, I know that's what I would prefer. In addition, you could just add something super small/meaningful or just a nice card.

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  • hlmauneyhlmauney
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with casims3. If it were me and money were an issue, I would appreciate the offer of paying for my dress. You know your maids the best, so if you think they would appreciate it, then do it. You could always ask them and see what they say about the idea.
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  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I think it's fine to consider that part of it, as long as you get them something small and maybe a nice handwritten note to each of them telling how much you appreciate them being there for you.
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  • ElinetrouwtElinetrouwt member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree that I would prefer the dress over a gift. Maybe you can pay for their dresses and give them each something very small but personal: your favorite book, necklaces from your own cupboard, a cheap pictureframe with a photo from you and the particular bridesmaid?
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  • AshP12AshP12
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Agreed! As someone tight on money, I would much rather have you pay for my dress than have a "personalized gift"...many of which are chintzy trinkets I wouldn't want anyway. Like others have said, you could do something small in addition to paying for the dresses, like taking each one out for a coffee date or something.
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  • tpender13tpender13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto PPs. Technically, you shouldn't do that. But if you know your girls would appreciate it, then go for it. H and I only had a best man and MOH; I had MOH wear a pretty black dress that she already had, and I bought her necklace and shoes. Best man (I can't abbreviate that one) had recently gotten a nice black suit; H bought his shirt, tie, and cufflinks. This worked fine for us.
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  • petite+engineerpetite+engineer member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice!

    They are grad students so I thought they'd appreciate it. I let them collectively choose the colour (it was surprisingly easy!), and told them pick any dress in that colour from the same brand.
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