Military Brides

**LetsHike**

Congrats and thanks for taking on the job!  And dare I say, good luck?  I'm sure you'll do great!

As far as a FAQ page, we definitely should find a way to cover several topics without unduly putting opinion on there - just facts and you know, laws and junk.  Anyone have any ideas for wording?

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Anniversary

Re: **LetsHike**

  • edited December 2011
    agree with calindi!

    Congrats on the position! We will try to be good ;) hehe

    Some Ideas I have heard mentioned for stickys:
    -opsec/persec!!!!!!
    -intro (for people to say where they are stationed, what branch, etc? easy ref)

    I agree about Calindi's opinion idea, but I'm stumped for wording on that one.. without it coming off as pompous ya know? hmmm... :/
  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks cal! I agree that a sticky with information is definitely needed. Does everyone want to tell me some things they think would be important to include? I want to make sure we have our bases covered. I will work on it when I get home so we can get it up as soon as possible!
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would suggest:

    Hi! Welcome to Military Brides!

    We're happy you're here.  There's a wide range of women here, significant others of service members from every branch and several women who are service members themselves!  Some women are engaged, some are married, and some are just here looking for support as they start thinking about getting married someday.  All are welcome!

    However, before posting on this board, you should LURK.  See if your question was already answered by scrolling through a page or two of different threads to see if someone else had the same question - chances are the question has been asked and answered before!

    If you do post a question, please keep this in mind:

    1)  Many of the girls here have been posting for awhile and know each other, and have answered many questions multiple times.  Try to read the responses as coming with the best intentions - we do want to help out new people, but sometimes it gets frustrating to answer the same questions over and over.

    2)  Usually the responses you will get are not a personal attack or judgement - the girls are just offering their own perspective, experience, or advice.  Sometimes things on the internet can get mis-interpreted, but if you respond politely and maturely, you are welcome to agree-to-disagree on any topic.

    3)  There are a few things that are very important to keep in mind and are not in any way the opinion of ladies on this board but rather based on the Uniform Code of Military Justice (aka military law).  Specificially:

    ***Please read up on OPSEC and PERSEC.  Do not use first and last names of either yourself or your significant other.  Do not give information that could be used to identify you, like specific locations or affiliations (as in, "I'm in Sigma Kappa at University of Nowhere" since it narrows it down very specifically).  Most importantly, do NOT post anything about troop movements or deployments - we know you're excited for your guy to come home, but please do not post any dates - not the date he's deploying, not the date he's returning. Vague statements like, "He's coming home in a few months" or "We expect him back later this fall" are perfectly fine.  But remember that even seemingly innocent things like, "We're getting married September 2nd, two days after he returns" will give far too much information.  This is for the security of our troops, so please respect it and follow it.  It's in your own best interest to learn these rules and encourage others to follow them.

    *** How and when you get married is your choice, be that by a justice of the peace, at the courthouse, in your church surrounded by family & friends, or a big beach ceremony with hundreds of guests.  Totally your call.  But once you are married, anything thereafter is technically a vow renewal since you are already legally  married.  You will not find much support for getting married in secret and then later having a "wedding".  Being legally married and accepting tangible financial benefits from the military as a married couple but not presenting yourselves publically as a married couple is fraud, and can result in the service member to face charges and potentially be demoted or expelled from service.  If you choose to get married early for whatever reason, just be up front with family and friends.  You can still have a big vow renewal that looks and feels like a wedding, just be honest about it and your family & friends will still want to celebrate with you!

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    Anniversary

  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Or, you know, something less long-winded!  Ha!

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    Anniversary

  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Cal- you rock! I'm also going to see if we can use information from tigers military nests link. I'll PM her in bit. I'm off to the Ann Taylor Loft 40% of EVERYThING sale (PSA if you are a loft fan like me it's on until 6pm) and I'll start working away on it when I get back. First I love the idea about intro stuff.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • kara811kara811 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What Calindi suggested is great, the only thing is maybe you should split that in a couple different stickies? It seems a bit long to read, but that's IMO. 

    Is the MN link you're talking about the Military Newlyweds FAQ site? That should definitely be on the sticky. 
  • lyonstmlyonstm member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You might want to add something about contest-requests. LOL
  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I actually mod the MN FAQ


    use whatever you want or a full link.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • edited December 2011
    Yay! Congrats!!
    Photobucket
  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The contest requests is part of the whole TK rules, so they should be aware.  At least now that we have a mod, those can be removed more efficiently!

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    Anniversary

  • edited December 2011
    If we link to the MN FAQ this may not be necessary but I would love it if we linked the Military Wedding Pictures at least. To help lower the number of WHAT COLOR MATCHES X UNIFORM.
  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    On that note Shan, if anyone has wedding/ball pictures to contribute, I'd love to put more up. can we start a new thread for that?
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_letshike?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:e5983d51-132c-4146-bd91-c78524d08aaePost:4d06178d-f4a1-4343-b7eb-460c76f38735">Re: **LetsHike**</a>:
    [QUOTE]I actually mod the MN FAQ <a href="https://sites.google.com/site/milnestfaq/" rel='nofollow'>https://sites.google.com/site/milnestfaq/</a> use whatever you want or a full link.
    Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]

    Thank you!!!!

    I'm going to start typing something up right now. I'll use information from here and what Cal said.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Here's my suggestions for a JOP/"real" wedding sticky, plagarized from the Miss Manners post a few days ago and from what Calindi already posted.

    “I want to have a small JOP wedding soon and then have a real wedding later! Advice?”

     

    Answer is edited from a Miss Manners column:

     

    Apparently the act of getting married is no longer considered an essential part of a “real wedding.”

     

    We are not talking about a civil ceremony followed, in short order, by a ceremonial religious blessing. Rather, these people are making a distinction between the act of contracting marriage and that of putting on a showy entertainment, with the idea that the first is not the real thing unless accompanied by the second.

     

    That big white dresses and bridesmaids are associated with weddings is not surprising, although these are not essential. Many a bride has had a real and charming wedding wearing something more to her own taste, and not every one chooses to be attended by a bevy of female friends.

     

    Parties in honor of a newly married couple can be held practically up until the time they start celebrating anniversaries. But for a married couple to pretend that they are getting married? And possibly to play with the feelings of their guests, who thought that they were witnessing people actually being married?

     

    Even that doesn’t bother Miss Manners as much as the sad realization that “real,” in regard to something as important as marriage, has come to mean extravagant and fake.

     


    You will NOT find support here for getting married in secret and then later having a "real wedding".  Being legally married (and accepting financial benefits from the military as a married couple) but not presenting yourselves publically as a married couple is fraud, and can result in the service member facing charges and potentially being demoted or expelled from service. 


    If you choose to have a small JOP for whatever reason, just be up front with family and friends, and be honest about the fact that your JOP IS your real wedding.  You can still have a big vow renewal that looks and feels like a wedding, just be honest about it and your family & friends will still want to celebrate with you!

    White Knot Visit The Knot! Daisypath Graduation tickers
  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sarah, perhaps the subject should be, "Secret marriage and 'real wedding' later?  Read this!"

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    Anniversary

  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sarah- Thanks for adding that again.

    I am currently making a weebly website for the Military Knotties.

    I'm hoping to put a sticky up and have rules there and then have the website to direct people to an in depth kinda thing.

    On the website, I'm going to have a page for JOP weddings. I was wondering if anyone had experience good or bad with JOPing. If so, can you PM me a paragraph about your experience?

    Also, I put a page for military balls/banquets and military weddings to post pictures. If you have them and would be willing to share, let me know and I'll PM you my e-mail address.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Yay! We have a mod:) Thanks, Letshike, you'll do great!
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I used to work at the LOFT. I miss it.


    I LOVE this. I love everything that was said
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
  • ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Congrats! and I love the suggestions so far too.
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  • edited December 2011
    Congrats Letshike!!! Yeah!!!! nice to have an "active" mod here :)
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