Guest List Issues

emilypeach · February 2010

so initially I wanted to try to be really specific on my invitations and response cards as to who was invited, to avoid a lot of people just bringing random dates and to avoid confusion.

sounds like a good theory only my FI doesnt know how many aunts/uncles/cousins he has on his dads side, but he wants to invite them all. so of course, its his wedding too, so whoever he wants to invite im fine with. now heres the big problem, when i asked FMIL for list of family members and addresses, she just tells me Virginia, her husband, and their 4 kids...... and this goes on and on for about 8 aunts and uncles and their kids, and some are older so they have kids and its getting out of hand and i have no idea how to count these people!!

to make matters worse, theres a few who i cant seem to get an address at all, and instead of trying to make contact and get the address she said, "don't worry about it, they'll hear about it and just show up"...

ahh im going crazy!!

emilypeach · February 2010

and I don't know a lot of people's real names either.... so instead of being able to put

Eleanor, Robert, and Josie C** , they're giving me her nic name..."Tia Cha Cha and her 4 kids"

Kasi80 · February 2010

If you are OK with all these people being invited (you are right?) then you or FI are going to have to sit down and tell your MIL that these people will not be invited unless you have their addresses. Let them know that people cannot show up unannounced, period. You need to budget for each guest and make sure you have enough food, seats, tables, etc. for them. Tell them that is the way it's going to be but you have to stand firm. No one can show up if they were not invited.

I personally left all Andrew's family up to him to deal with. I made him get the addresses and tell people on his side only X amount of people were allowed to show. If I didn't have the addresses they weren't invited. Not that that ended up happeneing. I harrassed him enough until he got all the info I needed..

amberg321 · February 2010

I ran into the same issue and had to be very firm with our family. I think alot of people dont realize just how specific you have to be with venues and vendors. I got married at the Kimberly Crest which is really small by most venues standards so I had to have a confirmed name for each seat otherwise people were going to have to stand outside. I basically just explained the tackiness of that and how some guests might or would be very offended if they A) didnt have a place to sit and

didnt have a meal to eat. Once our family actually thought of it that way then addresses and names started to magically appear

hischiquita! · February 2010

I know exactly how you feel! Luckily I explained to MIL that we are paying per plate so I needed to know exactly who to invite and if I didn't get an address they weren't invited. It's tough but you have to stand firm, otherwise it just gets out of control!

SarahB0427 · February 2010

LMBO off emily...Ok So I just went through the same thing and its smart of you to ask this far in advance for all the information. Now. my biggest issue with my FMIL's guest list as well and the avoidance of getting real names etc...So what I did was when it came down to it I told FI how many people she could invite and I wrote all the names of the people that were invited on the invitation. I then sent her over the final list and said that FI and I had made our final decision and please let me know by Friday if all the names are properly spelled and all of their addresses. If we didnt get the addresses they would not be invited. For the two that she did not give me addresses on I simply printed a label with their names on it and handed it to her to hand deliver. It saved me stamps :-)

Try and be patient but firm. If she wants to invite extra people then politley tell her how much it is per plate. and see if she would like to pay for her guests

emilypeach · February 2010

thanks everyone, i'm glad im not the only one going through this. i'll be seeing FMIL this weekend so i'll have a chat with her about it. i've also inlisted the help of FI's sister since she talks to a lot of the cousins. I want to sent save-the-dates out in the next couple of weeks so i need to get the ball rolling here.

ladylulu · February 2010

I was having the same issues... We finally got over the familiy guest lists and all those... NOW, the new issues are random people inviting themselves to the wedding?!

1. A mobile car wash /detailer dude comes in ever thursday and washes your car for 20 bucks if you want one.... HE is asking me if he is going to be invited..no, not once... twice!!! ..Of course I said no, My family is big enough and they are priority... but please, a car wash guy??!!

2.I am in a sorority from college... and random sisters whom I was not THAT close with have been asking me about the wedding, as if hinting me to invite them to the wedding... Really?

3.Co-workers... Engough said

goldilockslovespolkadots · February 2010

HA HA HA...maybe there is a way to explain to her that it isn't a bbq-show-up-if- you-aren't-busy type of event:) How are you supposed to plan the food and seating?

That's hard though I know...:)
good luck!:)
Michelle

SarahB0427 · February 2010

My biggest problem is FI is randomly telling people...Hey see you at the wedding? Im like FI we didnt invite them to the wedding..Plus he gets a call every other day from is FFIL or FMIL saying oh so and so was offended they werent invited blah blah blah....TOUGH COOKIES...They know better than to call me...I just might have to have someone at the front door checking people in seriously like a security guard...If you are not on the list you dont enter!

Guest List Issues

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