Is using a family heirloom diamond a bad idea?

wlwilson87 · December 2010

So I've inherited a 5 ct marquise diamond ring. I loved the idea of having my boyfriend buy a really nice platinum setting for the diamond and using it as my engagement ring. I talked to him about it and he said he iked the idea. We've looked at settings and he knows what I like. I basically said in the end I want him to make his own mind up on whether or not to use the diamond and if he did I wanted him to pick the final setting.

Heres my question: Would using the 5 ct diamond set us up for trouble? Although I've given my boyfriend the final say on the whole thing my mom feels he will use it because he knows its what I want but that he'll feel like he really didn't have much of a say or like it really wasn't from him. Just wanting people advice and opinions. Thanks

SeptemberFall2011 · December 2010

I think it is a great idea! Roll with it.

jerseydevil · December 2010

Why would it be a bad idea? If you love it, go for it.

Make sure it's appraised and insured, though.

NJhousewife22 · December 2010

I think if he has input into the setting and design of the ring, it will still feel like "his" gift to you. I can understand wanting him to have "his moment" of picking out the ring, my fiance actually loved the whole ring designing process. The setting is a big portion of the ring and I'm sure he will enjoy picking it out and designing the perfect moment to give it to you. Good Luck!

sister2groom · December 2010

What were the conditions of the gift? For example, if your great-grandfather designed the setting himself and so the ring was given to you as a heirloom to be kept in one piece, then you can't really take the diamond out. I would just check with whomever gave the ring to you and ask them what they think. But people use passed down rings all the time, you've given him complete deciding power, so there's not really much else you can do to ensure he's OK with it.

P.S. I wouldn't mention the size of the diamond when you're asking advice about it, you may not mean to, but it's a bit like mentioning the dollar amount of your salary and it's kind of irrelevant to your question.

naomikb · December 2010

5 ct? Holy crap.

The other girls have covered the rest of my response.

DirtyWater · December 2010

I would be petrified to wear 5ct. I say go for it if you have it! Make sure he gets it insured right away though! And buy a safe!

AllyR75 · December 2010

i think it's a nice and personal idea...if he had a problem with it i think he would've said something but i think he just wants to make sure you like the idea.

AdeleDazeem · December 2010

5 carats?? Your hand will be dragging on the floor.

I had a similar concern over the use of my grandmother's engagement ring as my own. My fiance knew this, had it cleaned up, and proposed with it. Any concerns I had over him not having a choice have gone away as he looooves my grandmother, loves the symbolism of the ring and loves that I'm happy. Your fiance will be joining your family, using a family diamond, and creating the setting. I'd say that is a great compromise and nothing to be too concerned about.

edited for my overuse and improper conjugation of the word "love"

annakb8 · December 2010

My fiance proposed with an heirloom ring and I don't think he missed picking out a ring for me too much. They were from his side of the family, so maybe that made a difference? He actually had two rings though, his grandmother's and his great-grandmother's, and he let me choose which one I wanted out of the two. I think overall he was relieved that he didn't have to find the "perfect" ring all by himself. I was also nice that he was able to save some money which we can now put toward the wedding.

DanielleZZ · December 2010

I say go for it, sounds like a great idea. Your the one who is going be wearing it so you should have a say. If he had a real problem with it I think he would have said something. Although I agree with sister2groom that you should make sure no one will be upset if you change it.

SD3194 · December 2010

5 carats? Shoot, pawn that thing and pay for your wedding. Haha, just kidding that would be awful. That's really awesome you have an heirloom like that, I'm jealous. Don't let such a special gift go wasted...have it as your engagement ring.

2dBride · December 2010

I did that with my first weddding. If I already had a diamond, I didn't see why he should go to the expense of buying another one. What was I going to do, wear one on each hand?

vhalbeck · December 2010

Heirloom engagements rings are amazing- go for it!

Just please get it insured before you start wearing it!! I have one as well and had quite a scare when our apartment building was burglarized the day I did not wear it- luckily it was NOT STOLEN, but either way you don't want to lose it. Plus they'll take photographs so that if anything does happen to it you can always have it remade.

Enjoy!

blondieblue4 · December 2010

my stone was inherited also, and we got a new setting for the diamond. it was originally from the engagement ring my fiance's father gave to his mother. so keeping it in the family was a huge deal for him. we got a new setting for the engagement ring and the wedding band to make it mine/ours still knowing the history behind it.

to pick out the new setting i had gone to the jewelers and picked out 3 or 4 settings i like and then sent my fiance in to see him...he made his choice not knowing which ones i had pointed out and it ended up to be one i liked. i didnt see the new setting till he proposed. i still havent seen the wedding band...and wont till we say our vows.

either way it the meaning is in the ring and the gesture not in the diamond itself...it doesnt matter what is actually put on your finger aslong as you know the meaning behind it.

andamu · December 2010

My mom wears a reset heirloom. My dad inherited the stone, and proposed to her before he had had it reset. I don't think she ever felt bad that it wasn't picked out especially for her.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2010

If I were your BF, I'd be psyched to not have to spend much money on a pretty rocking ring. I doubt most of us could afford a 5ct diamond ring. Besides, you guys can pick out a new wedding band together. Honestly, if I had that big of a ring, I'd probably end up wearing my wedding band alone most of the time.

bpphoto785 · December 2010

My mother was gracious enough to give my FI the diamond from her engagement ring because she wanted to start a family heirloom. FI and I went shopping for settings I picked out some that I liked so he had an idea, but he made the final decision. He actually ended up designing something himself and I absolutely love it! Having my Mom's diamond also adds a sentimental value that could only have been passed down.

Is using a family heirloom diamond a bad idea?

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